TeaseTime (17 Jul 08)

I arrived about fifteen minutes late. Princess had just let everyone cum and was now letting them listen to her latest MP3 Milk It Boy Become My Underbitch!!! I'd post the URL but she pulled it right after letting us listen, saying something down the lines of, "I wont release this one into the wild, it's too dangerous and I'm a responsible adult!"

Uh huh.

Anyway it was full of sissy bondage and forced fem and was made special for jem's birthday and was a one time thing. I can't remember much of it since it immediately sank you into some sort of trance. I recall hearing mooing though and bitching. As the MP3 finished I saw I was covered in cum (mine, I was alone this time - Thank God! I hate bukakke MP3s let me tell ya).

So Princess laughed at us and told us we were even bigger fools than she thought since the MP3 was filled with hidden triggers! Then she typed (this won't work - it has to come from her) "Asparagus!" and her wookie started shooting copius wads of uncontrolled cum. Giggling like a stony she then typed, "Marshmallow Watermelon Pie!" and suddenly I'm in this black evening gown with with these black pumps TO DIE FOR, a rose clenched in my teeth dancing the tango. My webcam was on and Princess was watching all of us - I don't know how she affords the bandwidth. When I got to the part in the tango where you get dipped backwards I lost my balance and my head crashed into the coffee table, I was alone remember. Anyway the judges took points for that the bastards.

As I came to Princess was typing in "Grand Finale" and the next thing I know I'm tied to this iron cross thingy (I have no idea when I found the time to build that - no wonder I'm sore today!) with one of those gags in your mouth that has the hole in it all dressed up in sissy stuff.

I guess Princess was checking us out on the webcams because she's muttering, "Yessssss," and stuff then she goes, "Sing! Sing for Me and become My UNDERBITCHES!!!" I start tooting out:

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Jemmie!!!
Happy birthday to you!

And since it was all of us it took on this weird kind of mushmouth tooting chant, well all of us except for banky who was making those squeaky noises that Maggie Simpson makes on The Simpsons because of the binky in his mouth. You'd think Princess was going to have a coronary she was laughing so hard, it probably would have given new meaning to 'The Stroke Princess' if she had huh?

Then she says something like, "Well believe it or not but there's some boy who wants to cum and I want to do him since I'm too busy partying my ass off this weekend, byeeeeeeee." And she was gone.

It took me awhile to get out of the iron cross thingy.

It was the BEST BIRTHDAY PARTY EVER!!!

EVER!!!

FUCKING EVER!

Sorry you missed it jemmie...

We thought of you though...

::serious look::

mmhmm, we did ... honest

um Anyway I hope you have a wonderful birthday and all your wishes (except those that do me physical or financial harm) come true!!!

Dang what a party!!! Thanks Princess!!!

My Where has the Time Gone?

Usually about this time I would start giving Princess shit about the interval in her posting. A casual glance at my blog and I'm scratching my head, June 17th? Really? Go figure. As I sit here stealing a few minutes I know I've got nothin'

I'm not horribly alarmed, nor mopey about it. I am so consumed with RealWorld crap that my imagination has shut down for a bit. I see that jem is being tortured by Princess (jem must hate that) and lucky has entered the window cleaning business. MsTara is still in denial about her wicked vampiric ways and pantySue turned one while bankyboo works hard on... well do you want to convince those Mistresses or not banky? I don't think you're trying, are you? Anyway all is well.

So what am I doing with my copious free time? Well unlike jem I'm not hanging out at gas stations fondling hoses and fantasizing about gas pumping drag queens. No time for that.

What did I do today? Hmmmm, well I worked. At the moment I'm living Le Tour de France, commuting to work and back, ten grueling kilometers round trip. That's six miles for you non bicycling pansies. I doubled it today since I had to ride home on some mindless lunch errand. Twenty fucking kilometers! mmhmm! They did 195.5km in the tour today, the fuckers.

Does Princess let me cum since I've quit smoking and am biking all over the place?

No.

She detests bicyclers, "BillyBear bicyclers are only good for mowing down in traffic and fucking their girl asses with pine cones. Pshaw, yes BillyBear, PSHAW on your gay bicycling ways! NO CUMMIES!" Personally I think I just brought it up at a bad time for her. Maybe she was having her monthly visit with 'Mr. Cranky Pants.'

Unfortunately when I say I work I actually mean it. I'm still sporting that bulls eye and getting sorta use to it. The bike kicks my ass so I come home, shower, veg out in front of the TV and hit the sack about 9PM rising again around 5:30AM to do it all over again.

OH! I did something new today after getting home, just to shake things up a bit.

I mowed the lawn.

Yep - ALL of it. Took about ninety minutes.

I hope to make TeaseTime tonight if I don't just fucking fall asleep. Right now I'm sitting on the couch plotting ugly deaths for the telemarketers that keep fucking calling and trying to make 10PM.

If I DO make TeaseTime Princess will be delighted to see the taciturn, zombie BillyBear, I'm certain of that.

Oh yeah, I'm a riot right now.

Oh well, shit happens and I'll either gut through this or I wont. The one thing I can't do is avoid it. ::shrug::

I miss you guys, hope you're having fun and all. Me? Couldn't be better! Thanks for askin'