Interview with a Princess

MsGrace was interviewed recently by MsAva some UnidentifiedMistress for Her series Get to Know a Mistress! What many Princess observers may not realize is the legendary Editor-In-Sleaze of the magazine Won't Anybody Touch Me? billybear joined MsAva some UnidentifiedMistress in interviewing the mysterious, magnificent 'Dark Princess'

Here is the unedited transcript:

MsAva UnidentifiedMistress: MsGrace a pleasure as always. I do so enjoy our talks!

MsGrace: Well thank you MsAva UnidentifiedMistress. And ... who ... is?

MsAva UnidentifiedMistress: I'm not really sure how he got up here ...

billybear: Oh for shits sake! You know who I am!

MsGrace: Wait a minute are you the guy who kept calling Me during My vacation?

billybear: I'm really not at liberty to say and anyway MsAva UnidentifiedMistress and I are asking the questions here pretty girl. Right MsAva UnidentifiedMistress?

MsAva UnidentifiedMistress: Actually it's just Me.

billybear: Whatever. Now MsGrace is it true that You're using dark voodoo to raise a vast army of zombies to vote You into the Connecticut House of Representatives and that jem is one of Your undead puppets?

MsGrace: No.

billybear: I see... Really?! I could have sworn I read that somewhere ... was it lucky's blog?

MsAva UnidentifiedMistress: Well, MsGrace let's talk about at what point in Your life You first realized You were a Domme, was there some triggering event?

MsGrace: Well MsAva UnidentifiedMistress You know there comes a time in ...

billybear: Wait, wait, wait. Then why is jem so wooden? And Lucky Pet? You can't deny there is a pattern of zombie cult-like behavior in those You're using to further Your evil, albeit highly desirable, incredibly erotic cock teasing bitch schemes.

MsGrace: No zombie cults. MsAva UnidentifiedMistress, I'm sure you realized at some point in Your life the power of the tease. The effect it has on men, or at least what I would call real men, those that desire women and all things feminine, those that wish to be, need to be, want to be controlled by Those such as Ourselves.

MsAva UnidentifiedMistress: Absolutely.

billybear: Princess let's talk about PILFs.

MsGrace: PILFs?

billybear: Pet's I'd Like to Fuck.

MsGrace: Uhhh ...

billybear: Now I'm just going to throw some names out there at random. billy fracking bear!

MsGrace: You are a very nice and funny guy but you are a client of mine and I won't and will not ever meet a client. You know that!!!

billybear: So, 'yes' OK. That was an easy one. How about James Callis? Would You PILF him? OH I bet You'd PILF all over him!

MsAva UnidentifiedMistress: Who?

MsGrace: The guy who plays Gaius Baltar.

MsAva UnidentifiedMistress: Oh, I'd hit that! He's a pet of Yours? What's he into?

billybear: This is not about You, MsAva UnidentifiedMistress! Sheesh.

MsAva UnidentifiedMistress: I know, I'm just saying I'd totally hit that.

billybear: Quiet You! MsGrace?

MsGrace: He's not a pet of Mine! We're just friends ... so yeah ... after I shave that beard off.

billybear: Oh so he's a FILF (Friend I'd Like to Fuck). I got lots of those. I should throw that one out anyway since MsAva UnidentifiedMistress had to ruin it by blurting out the answer ... where's jem on this PILF list of Yours? And lucky and banky and ...

MsGrace: THERE IS NO PILF LIST! ... Can we move on?

MsAva UnidentifiedMistress: MsGrace several have said that Your voice is ...

billybear: Princess, talk about Your relative preference for pygmies.

MsGrace: Uhh...

MsAva UnidentifiedMistress: Well I think that's about all we have time for.

billybear: What?! There's like forty five minutes left.

MsAva UnidentifiedMistress: I'd like to thank Princess Grace for taking the time to stop by today, and I would like security to come up here immediately.

billybear: Are there gift bags?

Naughty billy, BAD billy (Princess Call)

So I'm sitting on the stoop in front of this brownstone minding my own god damned business when this hot little Princess post goes strutting by. Well I've just got to check that out!

Well she turns out to be quite the tease, this saucy little temptress of a post. I'm reading about Princess practicing and learning on this close friend of Hers and well, the wookie also rises! What could I do? It's Princess's fault writing this yummy stuff and getting Her billybear all worked up like this, as usual I'm completely blameless.

So I make all my special preparations, stand in the exact center of the pentagram and call Her. Voice mail. Darn it! She must be entertaining another. I putter around the net for a bit and then open an IM window to Princess and say, "I left a voicemail, was hoping you could play with me :-)"

I'm getting ready to type in, "Have a great nite Princess" when the bottom of the IM window kicks out MsGrace is typing ... OMG! She wants to be brought up to speed, when did I leave the voice mail, etc. I'm laughing, much like lucky pet I'm a wanty needy bitch right now and I wuvs you Princess but I'll bring you up to speed on the phone! I punch redial, type "it's me" into the IM window and hear that yummy, yummy, "Helloooo" of Hers.

We chat and giggle. She gives me lots of information on Her vacation none of which I will share because that's Her prerogative and I know She's toying with other posts, will She or wont She post? Only Her pedicurist knows for sure. But Her vacation was fantastic! What fun!

Then I get the "uh huh" from Her and Her cock twitches in response. It perks up, "I'm listening!"

She's giggling and says, "You have some 'splaining to do ..." She pauses, "Lucy"

She starts weaving in parts of my Wastelands vision and She's working me hard right off the bat, having me slide the aneros home. She's in a really good mood and very playful. Apparently I've miffed the Goddess by saying She wasn't a Goddess to me and She fully intends to correct Her wayward pet, to have me calling Her Goddess Grace. That wont be a stretch for me but I also must confess ... as my penance.

Yes, tonight I must confess. Confess to Her other little secrets I may not have mentioned to Her yet, naughty little billybear thoughts that have taken seed and now with Her help She will bring forth and nurture in future calls. She thinks I may have been holding back! Me? I shudder with wicked anticipation. I do and do not want to tell Her these things. Mainly because I worry that She'll somehow think less of me. Nothing could be further from the truth, I'm learning that now. I have such high regard for Her that I use to worry. I worry less and less now. Still at this point in time, I don't wanna :-)

She instructs me to stroke giving details on how, knowing full well that want and need in Her pet will be the result. I play with Her cock as instructed. Then Her evil, wicked ways start coming out.

"Are you looking at any pictures on your laptop billyeee ... naughty pictures?"

"Yes MsGrace"

She has me thoroughly describe each one on the screen while keeping Her cock busy in Her hand. Several are of Princess, several are of others. I can pack a lot of images on the laptop screen when the moods on me and there are about twelve arranged with a fetishist's skill.

She's asking questions about each one. Why that one? What do I like about that one? Oh that is a naughty one. As I work through them Her cock is completely covered in precum, sliding freely, twitching. Wanting. Needing. Her. Making that squishy noise She loves to hear! I want to cum so badly! No.

Next picture, a moan escapes me. It sounds like any other moan to me but I know it's not, it's a naughty, bad moan, a secret moan. It's what She's been waiting for. She's already learned a lot but She has an incredible ear and this moan has some sort of tone in it that initiates the Princess Pounce. I have to describe this picture in great detail, what it is that I like about it and how it makes me feel. She then gives me an immediate homework assignment to email her the pictures that are on my screen after the call (done).

"Kneel before your Goddess My billybear, it's time to confess."

I am locked very deep in the fantasy now. I just LOVE when that happens! Don't you? When your so into it you can picture yourself there, part of it, two minds linked over hundreds of miles of fiber-optic cable, joined in the dance. I no longer need the pictures or anything else, just Her.

"Stop stroking"

I whimper and comply. She then has me start working the aneros, all the while teasing and taunting me working the pictures and more importantly how the pictures make me feel into the fantasy. Coaxing me to confess, playing me in a way only She will ever know, in a way only She can.

She tells me to take Her cock into my hand and stroke for her while still clinching and releasing the aneros. My eyes are closed and I see Her before me as in the vision. She's still dressed and the best way way I can describe the look on her face is a compassionate smirk. She's softly telling me to tell Her this naughty little secret of mine. Standing before me, I'm gazing up at Her, wanting Her so very much!

I want to cum so badly! I'm begging for release, well OK whimpering, I know I can cum but can't, not really, knowing that it will be so much better if I wait for Her permission, hoping for Her permission.

All the while I'm bobbing in and out of a blackout. I give over, She is everything to me. I am Her pet, will always be Her pet. Loving being Her pet.

I confess. I tell Her everything, every new naughty thing.

"Please, please let me cum my Goddess, my sweet Princess!"

She plays me a little more. Works me a little more. And then, "Cum at your Goddess's feet My billy! Cum ..."

And I know She said something else but I'm gone. Very, very gone. The orgasm that rips through me is waaay beyond description. I cum, and cum and cum in huge orgasmic spurts! She's still coaxing every last drop of cum from me as I pick Her voice back up but also starting to settle me down.

We chat a little while I catch my breath. She gently teases me about future calls, "You're a naughty little billybear!"

I can't rate my Princess calls and I can only hope you suffer from the same problem. I will have my doubters but I can honestly say, every call, every single one is great in it's own way.

I will say this about this one though - YOWSA! :-)

As always Goddess Grace, thank You for the call, thank You for You; You naughty thang You!

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Like all my ideas, IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME!

I wont mention those who were with me but I caught wind that the local high school was doing a Christmas Medley and I thought, well OK thinking might not be the right word, Princess would really enjoy hearing us play, given the religious nature of our trek through the desert. We managed to, um, replace some of the brass section ... evil giggle

Horns aren't as easy as they look. And boy were there some irritated parents. Anyway everyone got away except me because well, let's face it, I waddle.

Missed you bad Princess enjoy!



You can reach me at:
Everybody's Bitch c/o
Cell Block D
Maximum Security Prison for the Criminally Insane

Happy Memorial Day Everyone!

The Wastelands: Table of Contents

The Wastelands: Table of Contents

The First Vision - Thou Shalt Go Forth (billybear)

Buy In

Moses and Jeremiah Were Carebears? (lucky pet)
Yes, In the Cage Again (bankyboo)

The Early Days

Off We Go (billybear)
Well, here I am... in the desert... (jem)
A Vision? (lucky pet)
We Rock! (lucky pet)

False Visions

Night of Debauchery (billybear)
Visions of the Third Kind (lucky pet)
Day 2 in the desert (jem)
Fun in the Sun (bankyboo)

The Wrath

Out of the Frying Pan ... (billybear)
OK, I'm trying not to panic but... (jem)
Woe are We (bankyboo)

The Visions (in order of appearance)

Deserted in the Desert (lucky pet)
Vision of a Goddess (bankyboo)
Visions of Princess Grace (billybear)
Graced With A Vision... (jemmie)

Aftermath

Epilogue (billybear)
Home James (lucky pet)
The Way Out (bankyboo)
What just happened? (jem)

PantySue's Wasteland

Wasteland - Part One (pantysue)
Big Trouble! - Part Two (pantysue)
AutoErotica! - Part Three (pantysue)

The Wastelands: Epilogue

Well that was something. I'm not sure if I'm still a prophet or if lucky is now 'the anointed one.' If it's lucky, well he can have it. This Prophet business is tough!

Thanks to pantysue we all made it out of the desert. She had 'a little free time and decided to find us on our vision quest so that she could get a vision of her own, unfortunately for her but fortunately for us she was a tad late. I heard that I was choppered out, my dessicated husk of a body found partially covered in sand. bankysue is responding well to the cream and now has just a slight bulge on his shoulder. He sometimes laments the loss of his pal.

I know all the others made it out too, their attorneys assure me so!

Well that went rather well, don't you think? Good times, good times ...

Nervous giggle, wrings paws

[end of Wastelands]

billy knocks down the fourth wall with a sledge. I really wanted to say a very heartfelt thanks to jemmie, lucky pet and bankyboo (and pantysue by proxy and without her knowledge) for playing with me! This started out as a story I was just gonna run with until we got to the vision time and then I was going to ask if they wanted to post their own visions. Suddenly posts were springing up all over the place like desert wildflowers.

And the posts and comments are hysterical. Twenty-two as of this writing (26 May 06)

What Fun! Thank you my friends! This was quite a free form collaboration if I say so myself :-)

As always, occasionally mystified when Her pets spin up like this, always in the center, stands Princess Grace, our muse. Welcome back Princess, you have some reading to do, we missed You! soft smile

The next time Princess heads out on vacation maybe we'll all head off into space, StarTrek style. It's a little known fact but Princess loves StarTrek, particularly the original series. You should hear her Klingon, I'm certain she'll say, "buy' ngop majQa'" (That's great news! Good job!) after reading of our tranquil little sojourn into the desert.

Perversion ... the final frontier ... these are the voyages of the Starship Princess Pets ...

The Wastelands: Visions of Princess Grace

I push my way through the swirling sand and into a clearing. It's a large field bordered by trees, there's a campfire surrounded by logs. The cool night breeze whispers through apple trees. Clouds drift across a full silvery moon. She's sitting on a log, holding a long stick poking the fire with it. Her hair falls freely over Her shoulders, a green blouse and blue jeans. She's light on Her makeup, She looks fresh, like a farm girl. Just a very pretty girl hanging out by the fire on a beautiful summer night.

She looks at me, smiles and says, "poke, poke, poke" gently prodding the fire.

I break into a huge grin remembering when I had an IM with Her and I was cranky. She managed to brighten my mood significantly just by teasing me about my upcoming anerose call and saying , "poke, poke, poke" over and over again until I just gave up and had fun.

"Where are my friends? Are they safe?"

"You mustn't concern yourself with them. They will be fine. You're no prophet billybear!"

"You're no Goddess Princess Grace"

"Say you so?" Her head cocked sideways while She studies me, Her eyes sparkling with either amusement or malice.

"Yes, for me You are not, for others You may very well be a Goddess. It is one of the things I find wonderfully unique about You. How You are easily many things to many people."

She breaks into a huge smile, Her braces reflecting in the firelight.

"Oh Jeesh," I look at the ground. I've recently discovered that I find women wearing braces very hot there's a mixed message there but put a pair of braces on a thirty something woman and um ... well YUMMY!

"You have to cool it with the braces Princess."

"No."

I start to laugh, "You were right of course."

"Of course, about what?"

"All of our calls are great calls, all of our time together whether in IM, blogs, on the phone or email, well spent." I had at one time tried to rate the calls, particularly after the bunny one, "They are all great and all different, like your pets. Impossible to rate."

"Yep. Why are you death's companion billybear?"

I smile ruefully at Her, "There might have been a time when I would have agreed to that but now ... not so much."

She stares at me, waiting.

"You told me once that You make your pets 'better.' To be frank or as You would say, 'to be honest' I didn't buy into that. Now I'm more convinced. I do need the occasional sanity check. Would you agree with the statement that I'm not as self-destructive as I once was?"

"Yes but for you, because you 'have it in you' it will be a constant struggle, but you are getting better."

Suddenly She hiccups, turns as red as jemmie and says, "Sorry!" before that free and open laugh flows from Her, "I just came all over bankysue's face. hic ... not sure which face." She giggles.

She continues to observe me, "It use to annoy you to no end when I would place My attention on others. That you can't always be in the center."

"I'm learning to stand on the side of the circle, I'm learning from lucky and just plain experience that You will come back around to little ol' me. Lucky told me something once that I knew but needed to hear, 'She is a good person!' You are! You prove in spades in lots of ways that shall remain between us."

"hic! Dammit bankysue is learning!"

"You look very happy, I like it when you're happy."

"Are you happy billybear?"

"Lets see, I have a great friend who is also a great Mistress, I have someone who is fun and oh so very real who lights up my life with just conversation. We laugh, and talk and laugh and play and have so much fun. Yeah, it sucks to be me :-)"

"What about your friends both old and new, lucky, jem, ace, banky ... ?"

"Princess when you're in the room I'm afraid it must be about You! In fact it's always about You!"

She blows me a kiss, "Is our friendship real?"

"Yes. All of them are real, like you say, 'it's what you make of it,' I've never understood those that doubt that. In the 1800s there were pen-pals and real relationships and friendships broke out from those. Isn't this just a modern version of the same?"

She stares into the fire, we're both quiet. Then She says, "I have to go." She stands before me, looking into my eyes, so close but so very far but the mind is a powerful organ and I know she can feel my happiness.

She gives me a wicked grin and says, "You know when I get back you've got some 'splaining to do Lucy! Talk to you soooon ..."

She smiles at me, taking her stick and poking it into the fire, "Poke, poke, poke ..."

Poke, poke, poke. I open my encrusted eyes into hospital whiteness, an IV dangles from my arm. Lucky is standing there, poking me with his finger, "billybear are you hydrated enough to go back into the desert yet? I simply must finish that altar! I had a vision!"

Home James

by Lucky Pet

I sat in the storm under a outcropping of rock for protection, feeling sorry for myself for a long time. I thought that I was going to die out in the desert all alone. I imagined all sorts of things as I sat there. Yoda dog came to visit. He sat next to me for a while and talked of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings and why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings. Abruptly the conversation ended. Yoda dog got up to walk away. Before he left he turned to me and said. "Go I must. Afraid you will be but die you will not." He turned and disappeared into the roaring sandstorm. "WAIT!" I shouted and bolted up after him. But he was gone. I walked in the same direction as Yoda dog although I did not see any sign of him. I heard a noise in the distance. It sounded like the drone of a far away engine. Ignoring my physical state, I ran towards the sound. After a short run the sandstorm abated and beform me were blue skies and calm desert. But what was that noise? I looked to my right and then to the left. Nothing. I looked up. To my right above me I saw Hello Kitty Airlines. Princess was coming home! I ran as fast as my emaciated body would go. I ran in the direction of her plane. I followed it as long as I could until it disappeared from view. Just as the last speck of her airplane left my view, I saw something new on the horizon. Could it be? Am I saved? I saw what I believed to be pantysue's limo in the distance. As I approached I stumbled and fell many times. The chauffeur came over to help me to my feet. He guided me into the back seat. I was so delirious that I don't remember what was even inside. The last thing I heard before I passed out was the driver saying "Looks like all you need is a little porn on dvd..." In my whacked out delirium I remember being happy about being rescued. Where were the members of my band? Were they safe? For all I knew they were in the limo with me..... I have learned from this trek that I have found some friends that I will never actually "meet" and I have had a lot of laughs. While billy turned out to NOT be such a good prophet, I do thank him for taking us into the desert so that we could be occupied while Princess was gone. It made her time away more billybearable. I also realized that just the simple fact that I had to be "occupied" while she was gone makes her all the more special.

[comments]

by bankyboo

Glad to hear you are safe, lucky, we are all accounted for. It was fun.

by BillyBear

I have learned from this trek that I have found some friends that I will never actually "meet" and I have had a lot of laughs. [snip] I also realized that just the simple fact that I had to be "occupied" while she was gone makes her all the more special.

Fuck. I wish I had written that lucky, beautifully written!

::billy casually paints mittens with 'jem's' sunscreen before placing her in the microwave::

by little bitchass

*I also realized that just the simple fact that I had to be "occupied" while she was gone makes her all the more special*

Hmmmmm.... I'm beginning to think that maybe Princess DID tell billybear to do this. I think ALL of us needed to stay occupied while She was away, and She knows it!

Great set of posts, lucky!

little bitchass

by little_giselle

I loved the whole Wastelands epic! Great work, lucky!

Deserted in the Desert

by Lucky Pet

The third night was nothing but a blur. I collapsed in my tent from dehydration, hunger and sheer exhaustion. Once in my tent I fell into a slumber instantly. I awoke with a start as the tent flap opened and a cool moist breeze flew in. A wispy trail of fog entered the tent and coalesced inside. A shape started to form from the mist. It was the form of my Goddess. I reached up but I could not touch her. I don't know why I thought that I could since I have never touched her before and never would. She seemed so close yet completely out of my reach. Then she "spoke."

My pet. You have done well in this trek and I will reward you with what you most desire. Lay down on your back. Put your arms above your head. You will find that you cannot move them. Now feel me control "my" cock with my powers.

Without touching me she somehow "stroked" me. I was aroused instantly and her "touch" felt so heavenly. She rhythmically stroked my cock until it was right on the edge. She slowed...she quickened her pace. She told me all the innermost things that she knows drives me crazy. She held me on the edge of orgasm for hours. I bucked my hips in a vain attempt to cum. But she knew me too well and kept me from release. I begged! I pleaded with her as I gazed up at my Goddess. She laughed and giggled at me. No my pet. You will not cum. For hours you have been teased and held on the edge. I know what your need. Now I will leave you but I will be back soon and you will not cum until I return again and I can hear and see you.

With one last giggle she was gone. I watched her vapor trail leave the tent and and the flaps opened and closed to mark her departure. I collapsed into sleep. What seemed to be only minutes later, I heard billyProphet calling for everyone to wake up. I left the tent to find it hot and arid again. The feelings from my last night's experience fresh in my mind, I hungered even more for Princess. The little band trudged along until we encountered a quick moving sand storm. I kept plodding on until I realized that I could not see ahead nor hear anything but the howling of the wind. The sand hurt my face as I looked around to find my comrades. I called out. "billy!?...jem!?...banky!?...pantysue!???" I heard no answer. I was alone. I coughed as the sand found its way into my parched throat. What was I going to do now?

[comments]

by BillyBear

With one last giggle she was gone.

Um, so my name didn't come up? Goody!

nervous giggle, hacking cough

by bankyboo

*Without touching me she somehow "stroked" me. I was aroused instantly and her "touch" felt so heavenly*

lucky, you are sure living up to your name.

by Lucky Pet

banky,

While I am lucky, I don't think this was luck. Clearly Princess could see that I could not stroke with a hook and a fin.

by BillyBear

Clearly Princess could see that I could not stroke with a hook and a fin.

Heh, sounds like a challenge to me Princess. Lucky doesn't seem to think You could get him to stroke with a hook and a fin.

Personally lucky I beg to differ :-)

hop hop hop

The Wastelands: Out of the Frying Pan ...

We gathered our stuff leaving a lot of it behind to save weight and began heading back. We walked through what remained of that day and into the night. Finally exhaustion took us and we bedded down for a few hours sleep, shivering, and beyond thirsty.

I'm a little concerned about banky, he keeps talking to pantysue, who hasn't been with us since we hit the first set of dunes on the first day. Well it looks like they're becoming fast friends so I decide not to get in the middle of it. But I'm really worried about that 'third nipple' I commented on the first day. Banky never said anything to me but was pretty secretive about it.

Why am I concerned? Well it just winked at me! It's an eye! And now there's a forth nipple. Do you think banky is growing pantysue's head out of his shoulder? That's why he's always talking to her? I shudder. MsGrace isn't gonna like dat billyLucy! Will she charge double or half on banky's next call, there are compelling arguments either way. If we survive I have just the stuff back at the labs, Second Head B-gone. I know it works too, because I use to have banky's problem, but that story is for another day.

Dawn light awoke us and we left the rest of our supplies behind making our final push to get out of the desert alive. It's funny what becomes important when you're in real trouble. We all were clothed, wearing hats and using our walking sticks. We each carried empty water bottles in the vain hope that we'd stumble across an oasis and one more thing. For me it was this journal, what the other three carried out you'd have to ask them, it's none of my business.

Our pace is glacial. Have you ever been in real trouble? I have once or twice. Real Trouble is not fun, or exciting, it is simply dreadful.

When I was seventeen I use to love to body surf, still do. I was at Atlantic Beach North Carolina when I got caught in a serious riptide. Not fun. At first I panicked and it's an interesting sensation to note that no matter how hard you swim against the tide the further away from shore you got! It took me a bit of time to recognize that I was actually in a riptide.

Those things are potential little funnels of death and I'm terrified. By this time I'm far enough way that shouting for help would have been pointless, I'm far enough away that the shoreline is now being blocked by the waves as I bob up and down. I was a pretty good swimmer and probably in the best shape of my life at that point in time. I knew what I was suppose to do but my mind wasn't ready to unlock those secrets. I coast in the riptide trying to think. I know there are two things.

Keep the shore in sight because once you've lost sight of that bad boy you're most likely going to die unless you're very lucky. Mainly because you won't know which way to swim once you've broken out of the riptide. Then the second occurs to me, swim parallel to the shore! I start doing this with a fairly good crawl. In other words I'm not side-stroking my way to safety because I don't want to loose sight of the shore and this riptide was a fast one. At first you kinda despair because the shore is still receding but soon enough you notice it's not and you make that first hopeful angle towards home.

Anyway I got through that so that I could live long enough to bore the shit out of you with this post.

So we're in Real Trouble out here in the desert, marching along trying hard not to fall because each of us is so consumed with our own thoughts, suffering from heat stroke, that there's a good chance we wouldn't even notice if one of us fell until it was too late. I'm trying to keep us clumped together so all of us are in each other's line of sight. We're each trapped in our own riptide now. The shore is out of site.

Various scenes and remembrances are flowing freely thorough my head dancing in and out of focus. I haven't been here on the playground that long but I think I've made a bit of an impression on some.

One time when I went home for lunch and found ace in the chatroom all by himself. We talked for awhile there and I started to get to know him better.

IMing jem for the first time right around the time I became a pet because I was freaking out about the time I blacked out during a Princess call.

Getting an incredible story from lucky about the early days of Princess.

Laughing at banky's jokes in the chatroom because he was funny as hell that night.

Realizing what an absolute blast MsTara is in the chatroom if you let Her. The time Tracer, Friday and ace spun the room completely out of control was one of my favorites.

Getting to know MsReese during the TeaTimes. Hopefully getting to know MsAva and MsVeronica before they kill me.

I like some of these people and love others. They are becoming pals and or dear friends. When we cross paths I always smile.

And always there's Princess, but in this harsh sun it's hardest to focus on her. Her memories are like dazzling motes, darting just out of reach. I grab one and examine it. It was the time during Thanksgiving when I was working on some idle blog post and my IM windw pops open from Her. Tracer was born as a result of that IM.

Another where I just randomly enter the chatroom on some Saturday morning which was odd for me and find Her there, goofing around and having fun.

The memories I most want to examine dart and dash before me just out of reach.

Suddenly the motes coalesce into a slinky feminine figure dancing, catwalking towards me, bringing a sandstorm at Her back.

Bringing The Wrath.

A vision dances before the storm

I'm so focused on Her I don't notice the sandstorm until it's completely upon us.

The prophet billybear leads the pets through the storm

We quickly loose sight of one another. Oh I'm in so much trouble, this time I've not only put myself in jeopardy but others too. I can't cotton that, I circle back, I must find my friends! I can't hear, can hardly see and I'm no longer sure which way to go. Where are they? I'm hopelessly shouting into the raging storm, jem! lucky! banky! where are you? Suddenly, I make a figure out through the swirling sand. It's Princess!!! She's before me beckoning me to follow Her! Mote memories dance from Her finger tip.

I follow Her deeper into the heart of the storm ...

Visions of the Third Kind

by Lucky Pet

The second night we all went to our individual tents for a little privacy. billyProphet gave me a couple of hits of peyote, mescaline and even a drag on his doobie. He then asked if I wanted a cig to which I politely responded, "No, I don't smoke." Armed with some pink kool-aid I retired to my tent. Everything around me slowed a bit and the yoda dog in my tent was disconcerting but he eventually settled down and watched as I started to dig. At first I did not consciously know what I was doing. There I was digging in the sand like Richard Dreyfus in Close Encounters aimlessly creating the Devil's Tower in his living room. But as the kool-aid started to really kick in, I heard Princess. "Sculpt for me my pet. Think of your ponies..." That was all she said. I needed more water to make my sand sculpture. I left the tent and gathered all the remaining water and even the kool aid. This was going to be spectacular. I stopped by banky's tent because I seemed to remember that he had a canteen with water and I would need it. Strange sounds emanated from his tent. I was hesitant to go in. Everyone was supposed to have their privacy but this was too important. It was an edict from Princess herself. Banky would understand. As I reached to open the flap of his tent I heard what sounded like sobbing. After a moment's hesitation I went in. I was not really prepared for what I saw. There was banky in his bunny pjs on his knees with his head in his hands, rocking back and forth crying. "Noooo, not CandyMelon." He whimpered. I looked across the tent to find a horrific sight. A melon eating hamster had found Candy. I grabbed the canteen and left quickly. I felt a little guilty using all the water but I was with a Prophet. Surely he could make it rain. I went back to my tent and completed my sand sculpture. In the morning I intended to get some more liquid and make a couple of changes to it. I had special plans for my altar. As I drifted off to sleep I was very hungry for some fried chicken. billyProphet has a picture of my sculpture here and a little different description from another viewpoint.

[comments]
by little bitchass *the yoda dog in my tent was disconcerting but he eventually settled down* The yoda dog came by my tent earlier asking about you. I thought that was a bit strange, but sent him over to your tent to wait anyway. *A melon eating hamster had found Candy* Let's look at the bright side of things instead of focusing on the sad loss of Candymelon. Maybe banky will find something to do with the hamster that will be even more enjoyable than CandyMelon. *In the morning I intended to get some more liquid and make a couple of changes to it* I'm sorry, but I think I may have made some unexpected changes to your sculpture during the night by mistake. That Kool-Aid works like a diuretic on me. Oooopsies! little bitchass

by BillyBear
he yoda dog WHERE did you get that?! I'm getting nada from eBay! I simply must have one! "Bark you must!" A melon eating hamster had found Candy. Ohhh poor banky! His suffering is becoming legendary! Did he still have his mask on? That nail was disconcerting! I was very hungry for some fried chicken Is that what happened to the hamster? See you're already having deep meaningful visions! I bet Princess is relieved that we're all having so much fun while she's away! Isn't this a blast? Nervous giggle, wrings raw, blistered paws

by Lucky Pet

"The yoda dog came by my tent earlier asking about you. I thought that was a bit strange, but sent him over to your tent to wait anyway." Whew. I was afraid I was hallucinating

by Lucky Pet
billy, stay away from my yoda! "I bet Princess is relieved that we're all having so much fun while she's away!" Either that or she will read these posts upon her return and never talk to us again.

by bankyboo

mmmm, roast hamster. now i just need something to wash it down.

Where's my f%&#!ing canteen?

by BillyBear

Where's my f%&#!ing canteen?

uh oh - banky has a potty mouth, potty mouth banky. Does Princess know about this you dirty dirty bankyboo you?

by little bitchass

*uh oh - banky has a potty mouth*

Maybe it was his extra pantysue head that said it...

We Rock

by Lucky Pet

One of the things that has been most exciting about this little trek into the desert is that I am finding so much out about my cohorts. We have discovered, for instance, that together we make one hell of a band. That little carebear proved his mettle when singing Happy Birthday and I'm a Little Teapot, so he is the frontman. He really has some pipes! Jemmie is a natural on the guitar and she can really rock. Pantysue can be heard on the violin. "A much more refined and civilized instrument," she says. I can be heard on the drums because the group tells me that I like to "beat things" so much. All of the other instruments are actually banky beatboxing. He is incredible! Anyway, we have put together a theme song for our journey into the desert. I hope you like it.

lucky was able to provide a link to the song - thanks lucky!

[comments]

by BillyBear
Normally I have issues with heavy metal but that tune just wrote itself. We DO ROCK don't we!

The Wastelands: Night of Debauchery

The first night was pretty easy. We decided not to attempt any visions. The next day was tougher, going weary mile after weary mile up and down the dunes. The heat was incredible, sucking the will to live from us.

Near dusk we reach a good place to camp, near the top of another dune. This time we disperse our tents for privacy so we can worship in the manner of our own perversions. Jem places hers the furthest away since she says she gets a little noisy.

I dump out a bunch of vision enhancers which everyone but Lucky demurely passes on ("no thanks billybear, Electric Pink is more than enough") I ration out the Electric Princess Pink Kool-Aid. I'm a little worried about the kool-aid since we've only got four or so gallons left and at least another two days in the desert. With careful rationing we should be fine.

We each say goodnight and I drag my goodie bag off to my tent. On my way to the tent I pop the three peyote buttons, a little mescaline, swig down about half the bottle of black jack and chase it with my shot of Electric Pink. Just priming the vision pump. I dump a bunch of ether on the towels I put in the tent, zip it up and let it start filling with fumes. I sit outside the tent, light a doob and watch darkness fall across the desert. I pop a big wintergreen Lifesaver into my mouth to clear the palate before biting down watching my mouth light up like the Fourth of July.

Heeeyyyy ... how can I see my own mouth? Cool! Maybe the vision enhancers are taking hold.

Finishing the joint, I smoke a cig for good measure (that monkey is always demanding a meal) before crawling into the either filled tent. It's vision time!

I'm feeling sort of funny, a loss of motor control. Why? Oh yeah the either! It takes about a half hour to get the ear buds in and push the right button on the iPod. I put it on 'random' and finally I lay back listening to Princess's wisdom flow directly into my brain. She's speaking the deepest of truths! It really is a good idea to edge and not cum. I love being her stroke slave! I do this repeatedly and the first MP3 ends.

I skip over Glory Hole, I don't think anyone would appreciate me cutting a hole in their tent with my survival knife and start making unreasonable demands. Always wanted to hang with the tri-delts though those chicks know how to party, Princess style!

Uh-oh 'Busted' the twenty minute one about the step-sister and her cheer-leading friend Missy comes on! I tear through my backpack looking for a pair of panties to be caught with, oh! and I need a dildo. DRAT! I have neither, I really should have prepared better for this. Tears of remorse run down my face. What to do?

Jem! Jem will have an extra pair of panties! And I'm certain banky will have an additional dildo or three I can borrow! The iPod falls to the tent floor as I crawl into the desert night.

The Prophet billybear nervously steps into the desert night

When did it get so cold? And the dunes are flowing across the desert floor like ocean waves and I don't have a boat! Fucking banky! It's his fault, I spent hours trying to convince him to carry a canoe with us. He could have used it as a hat against the sun and now that I need one ... sheesh!

I'm intently studying the wave motion trying to remember where jem pitched her tent when I see it roll up and crest, lit like a perverted disco ball, before sinking back into the dunes. I stumble off towards it the waves making me a little seasick. Walking on water dunes is hard even for a prophet such as myself!

As I near the tent all sorts of horrible sounds are coming from it! My god is jem being attacked by another one of those mutant beavers she's always babbling about?! I rush to the tent, rip open the flap and say, "jem! Do you have an extra pair of panties I'm listening to that ..."

jem locked deep into Princess worship

"Um ... I'll check with banky, never mind." I quietly close the tent flap thanking the Lord that she didn't notice me. As I'm battling the surf, heading to banky's tent the little Keebler Elves are trying to convince me that maybe it's a good idea to leave banky alone. After all things didn't go so well with jemmie plus banky can't even stroke. They grow silent after I bury their leader up to his neck in the sand, cover him with honey and leave him for the fire ants.

You would not believe the amount of wild life that comes out in the desert night. I saw the Starship Enterprise in low orbit locked in mortal combat with the borg. Bambi and Thumper went by spewing their usual gloomy bullshit ... all sorts of stuff.

Banky's tent is silent as a tomb. There's a figure outside, I cautiously approach. All looks well, I round the corner, "Hey banky I'm listening to ..."

bankyboo locked deep in Princess worship

"... do you have any ... oh forget it!" OK, that was weird! That cage takes its toll mentally I guess. I head to lucky's tent maybe he has some of the stuff I need. Approaching his tent I hear a bunch of furtive giggling, humming, what sounds like water and digging. He seems to be muttering, "The altar must be perfect!" over and over again. Well he's obviously busy.

Despondently I head back to my tent after getting directions from Baltar who's looking for six.

As I crawl back into the tent I begin to wonder if I am actually a prophet. I've heard nothing from the Goddess but then again she's on vacation. I light a cig and begin to ponder the situation.

The resulting explosion sends the tent launching into the night sky pinwheeling and flaming like a North Korean missile launch. All my body hair is singed off and the resulting loss of oxygen causes me to black out.

Harsh sunlight pours through my eyelids and I wince in sun and flash burned pain as someone shakes my shoulder. I see both lucky and banky standing there with jugs in their hands. The desert sun has done quite a number on them, one glance at those two and I know we should get out of the desert as quickly as possible.

Got Kool-Aid?

"billybear, do you have any kool-aid? I need it for the altar!"

"We should have some in the stores, lucky, but don't use too much we're running low. Altar? What are you sacrificing?"

"I already used that! Do you have any more? And why do you look like an enormous chihuahua? What happened to your fur, and your tent for that matter?"

I find some sunscreen and cover myself with that, get dressed in my remaining clothes which consists of a tattered robe and sandals, grab my walking stick and feed lucky nothing but silence until he explains this altar business.

"Oh you've got to see it!"

I follow him and banky off towards lucky's tent. It really is quite a piece of work.

Lucky's altar

"What's up with the horses?"

"Those aren't horses, those are ponies, I like ponies! I made them green with food coloring! And I made Princess into a mermaid because I've been thinking a lot about water lately."

"What are you going to do with this altar?"

"Oh, I'm gonna fuck Her!"

"Well that shell is going to hurt."

"That's what I need the water for, so when I take Her shell off I can mold a most realistic pussy and keep it lubed!"

I look around at all the empty kool-aid jugs scattered about the desert. "So, we have no more water or kool-aid and you need just a little more to finish your altar?"

"That's why I came to you, make it rain right into our jugs and no where else prophet billybear! Come on do a rain dance!"

I smile sadly at lucky and shake my head no, "I'm not that sort of prophet. We better break camp and try and make it out of here. We have no water and two days of desert to cross. Piece of cake!"

That first day was bad, the second day was worse.

The Wastelands: Off We Go!

We assemble at the edge of the desert. Coated in the latest sunscreen invented by billybear labs we're ready to roll! It's vision quest time! Right before we leave banky comes shuffling up, caged. He shyly kicks the ground in front of him and says, "Even though I can't stroke I'd like to tag along and maybe get a vision from the Goddess."

"Cool beans!"

Banky happily applies his sunscreen and we head off on our great adventure!

From left to right: the prophet billybear, jem, pantysue, lucky the cantaloupe, and bankyboo the leprechaun head off on their vision quest

We go about thirty feet before hitting our first snag. pantysue pulls out her satellite phone and within minutes a limousine pulls up as she hops in she says, "It's far too hot and you guys are already a little stinky so I'll just follow along in the limo, OK?" Before we can say anything the bullet proof window rolls up and the limo pulls away.

I'm frantically studying the desert survival guide, doing some last minute brushing up since MsGrace suddenly made me responsible for keeping these precious pets of Hers alive and this thing is no longer a voluntary suicide mission. I'm just glad my survival knife came in time cause now I'm The Prophet BillyRambo the First and everyone is much more calm when I'm armed. Not sure why that is but when I start waving a forty-five or a knife around the room gets real quiet.

"Hey guys it says here in the survival guide that if we get low on water we can open a vein in banky and drink his blood! I was worried about that."

"Um billy?"

"What banky? What?!"

"I'm not real keen on being bled for emergency water rations."

"Well who would be? You're the FNG (Fracking New Guy) and so you really don't get much of a say. And look it's not really gonna be a problem, no one here is named Donner and we have plenty of water, it's not like we're going to chew it up building sandcastles - sheesh!"

We trudge on through the wastelands sipping our kool-aid. Jem blurts out, "It's been thirty minutes already, anyone have a vision yet? I mean it's fucking hot as hell out here, come on vision!"

Lucky says, "I had a vision, now I have a vision of me in that limo!" before bolting for pantysue's limo which the driver expertly keeps just out of lucky's reach before lucky finally collapses in exhaustion.

When the three pets march by lucky calls out, "Aren't you gonna carry me you bastards?" billybear reminds him that stroking is permitted on the vision quest. Lucky staggers to his feet and gamely trudges on.

Not even forty minutes into the ordeal cracks are appearing among the pets. Four hours later they reach the edge of the dunes. pantysue had pulled away with the limo and the driver was dumping out the backpacks and camping gear along with supplies, munching on a chocolate sundae pantysue calls out, "I'm really sorry but this is as far as the limo can go, so here's your stuff. I'm heading back for a pedicure and a business meeting. I'll try and chopper in later, this vision quest is quite important to me! Toodles!"

The remaining pets get dressed, shoulder their backpacks and begin to head up the dune when the limo comes screaming up, the door opens and lucky is shoved out onto the blistering sand.

"Nice try lucky, what gave you away?"

"Porno, it's betrayed me many times. I was trying to get a better view of what was on the screen when she caught me peering out from among the shoe boxes," Lucky shrugs.

They begin trudging up the first of what would be many dunes. The real work just beginning.

A Vision?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Moses and Jeremiah Were Carebears?

by Lucky Pet

I have been following the ramblings of a certain carebear who thinks he is a prophet. If you are not up on this, I suggest you read here first. To say the least, I have been a bit dubious of his claims. Why would Princess need to test me when she knows how devout I am? Why would she chose a carebear to serve as prophet? Why does Princess remain so silent on this issue?

I have done a little research on the net and I am beginning to be swayed. I came across an article that describes the traits of a true prophet versus a false prophet. The results alarmed me.

True Prophet
1. Few in Number; trusts only in Princess
2. Generally disliked and not trusted
3. Speaks what Princess says – “Princess says…”
4. Gives warnings of Princess’ judgement of all
5. Demonstrates the power of Princess
6. Socially unacceptable, does not conform
7. Speaks a compelling message
8. Tells that we are subject to Princess’ judgement
9. Shares scripture to show the truth

False Prophet
1. Many of them; trusts the majority opinion
2. Generally liked and trusted by people
3. Speaks presumptuously of Princess – “I think…”
4. Speaks of peace and prosperity
5. Uses power of suggestion or illusion
6. Socially acceptable and conforms to expectations
7. Promotes self interest
8. Tells that Princess will not judge; do not fear Princess
9. Shares opinion to explain the “truth”

Let's go through these line by line.
1. There is only one proclaimed prophet even if it is a carebear
2. No one seems to trust billybearprophet
3. In his prophesies billybearprophet does claim to speak on behalf of Princess and not himself
4. Billybearprophet speaks of doom if you do not follow him
5. Billybearprophet has offered visual proof of Princess' miracles when she made him channel Lucy
6. Carebears are not socially acceptable
7. This one is a wash. While he does speak a compelling message it also seems to be self promoting
8. This self proclaimed prophet has spoken of the wraith of Princess should we not conform
9. Billybearprophet has produced scripture to back up his words.

So with some trepidation I find that I will go into the desert with billybear. I will keep a close eye on him as I am still very leery of his intentions and am not fully convinced. Honestly, there is not much to lose. If I stay here and stroke and I am really not supposed to then I am doomed. If I go into the desert I can stroke even if the prophet is lying. Either way I get to stroke but one way I have nothing to fear but coyotes. Besides I am always up for some mescaline, peyote and whiskey.

Bring on the visions!

[comments dug from the wreckage]

by BillyBear

Finally! See everyone I'm soooo not insane!

Nervous giggle, wrings paws

Lucky has scientifically proven that I am the true Prophet MostHolyBilly the First! Of the nine criteria I've got a mortal lock on eight of them!

I completely embrace Lucky's tepid, half-assed endorsement and annoint him, um LazarusLucky since he's risen from the dead at least once and not as a zombie you fools!

So follow me Princess Pets! We depart tomorrow!

by Princess Grace

All I can say My pets is be careful in the desert. I shall return on sunday...and expect all My pets in one piece. lol If they are not billybear...you are in troubleeeeee, since you are leading them. ::giggles::

wuv you all!

by BillyBear

and expect all My pets in one piece. lol If they are not billybear...you are in troubleeeeee, since you are leading them.

And so it was written, "Great woe shall be heaped upon the Prophet should even one hair upon Her pets heads be harmed or have split ends! The prophet shall spend an eternity caged and teased should this come to pass!"

No problems MsGrace, I've been watching a lot of the Discovery Channel and a little National Geographic um tonight. Did you know an armadillo can walk under water?

wuv you all!

Yeah, hold that thought when you get back, OK??!!

Nervous giggle, wrings paws

by Lucky Pet
Princess has spoken!

by LuckyPet
"Did you know an armadillo can walk under water?"

That might just come in useful. We are in the FUCKING DESERT!"

by BillyBear
We are in the FUCKING DESERT!

Well look who woke up on the wrong side of the cantaloupe patch! Sheesh

::hands lucky a steaming hot cup of coffee::

The Wastelands: Thou Shalt Go Forth ...

Last night I received the strongest vision to date!

The Prophet MostHolyBilly having his next vision 'phoned in' by a very busy Princess

I was puttering around the house cleaning and what not when the phone rang. It was the Goddess Princess Grace!!!

"I'm sorry I can't appear personally but I'm really quite busy with last minute preparations for my girlie-girl vacation, grrrr!"

"It's always great to hear from you Goddess!"

"Why are you dressed like Lucy?"

"Ummmm ... you can see me?"

"I'm a Goddess half-wit, of course I can see you! Plus you left your webcam on again you little perv. If I hadn't just gotten out of the shower I'd let you see me," wicked giggles, "Oh we are soooo talking about this the next time you call! I suppose you want me to play Ricky," heavy Cuban accent, "Hoist that skirt and bend over Looocie, chew have some 'splaining to do! I Love Lucy loooonnnngg time!!!" Gales of laughter.

"Goddess, really that's unnecessary, this is just some sort of dream. I'm certain Freud could explain it!"

"Say it!" Giggling

"Say what Goddess?"

Silence on the phone line, I know what She wants to hear, sighing heavily and going very nasal, "Awwwww Ricky!"

Laughter followed by deep breaths while She tries get control, "Oh! Say it again! You're so cute!"

"Awwww Ricky!"

"Now why did you call me? I'm fucking busy as hell!"

My mind shuts down, I'm completely locked in a lose-lose situation. Meekly I reply, "You called me Goddess."

"Chew making fun of Me Looosie? Chew are aren't chew? Ricky doan like dat! Chew gonna be plenty loosie when Ricky done wit chew!"

"No Goddess, really! You phoned me!"

"OK then. I want you to take the pets into the desert while I'm on vacation."

"The desert?"

"Yes. I can't have all of you sitting around twiddling your, um, thumbs can I? You are to fast, think about only Me and have visions of Me. Upon my return I want to read in your blogs about your visions!"

"Suppose they don't want to go along?"

"Those that go into the fiery desert may touch, play and edge, but NO CUMMIES! Those that remain may not even touch and have to think about Me while staring at their wanty needy boners. All must listen to my MP3s daily! Those that blog of their visions shall please Me. You do want to please Me don't you?"

"Oh my yes!!! Fasting though?"

"Look, I got another pound and a half to go here! DO YOU WANT ME TO SUFFER ALONE while I'm getting massages from my girl friends and laying about in the hot sun by the pool, actually having to wait for the waiter to bring me another drink? I didn't think so! So no Oreos for you, only salads and healthy nutritious snacks like Ovaltine and oatmeal until my return. Does this strap-on make me look fat? Oh I forgot, you can't see me, never mind." Giggling.

"We can't just drink Ovaltine Goddess, that would be yucky in the desert!"

"You drink it? Well fuck that. No you may only hydrate with Electric Princess Pink Kool-Aid! Forget the Ovaltine."

"That's pretty powerful stuff!"

An exasperated sigh fills the phone line, "Look all of you are to have visions, RIGHT?! Drink the Electric Pink, drop mescaline, fast, eat peyote, smoke pot, drink whiskey, NOT ALL AT ONCE BILLYBEAR! The point is do whatever will aid you or the other pets in having visions! I want to read in your blogs about how much you missed Me while I was gone. Is that too much to ask?!"

"No Goddess"

"Sheesh I wish I could pick My prophets at times, Lucky would have had this done in about three sentences! So repeat back what you're to do My pet and don't make a book out of it!"

"Take the pets into the desert with MP3 players filled with Your voice, take salads, electric pink kool-aid and healthy snacks, fast and have visions of You. Stroke, edge and think only of You! Record our visions in our blogs before Your return for You to read! No cummies."

"That's it!"

"Um Princess, I sort of like to think of You when I'm uh alone ... worshiping You ..."

"OH MY GOD! I am not talking about some sort of weird circle jerk here Prophet BillyBear! Although now that you mention it I am sorely tempted to have all of you around the campfire, little MP3 players in your ears all moaning and edging in front of each other whacka-whacka-whacka. It's almost a visual worth holding! No! No! No! Each pet shall worship me in a manner of their own perversion in privacy!"

I emit a huge sigh of relief!

"Now My Prophet, GO FORTH AND DO MY BIDDING!"

The line went dead, I resumed dusting until I awoke this morning and wrote this entry.

We have much to do! The Goddess has spoken!

Prophet of the Goddess Princess Grace
MostHolyBilly the First
Church of the Everlasting Motherfucking Princess Grace

Stupid Neighbors!

Well apparently my call with Princess didn't go unnoticed. Thanks to ace for the pic! He said he found it on CNN. Yeah, it looks like I was headed out to the Trampoline of Terror to mark my territory so it's probably real. sigh And yes the yard does need a little work, so back off about that, I've been busy!

The First Book of the Prophet BillyBear

I had another vision, Glowy Goddessy Princess before me, "My prophet you must lay down the commandments, so take good notes!"

Thou shalt not have carnal relations with oranges, or strawberry's and particularly grapes. Eating them is OK. Cantaloupes are iffy but melons and banana peels are fine.

You may only shove M&Ms in thy ass if thy are selected by the Goddess as the chosen one, otherwise no no no!

Thou shall drink kool-aid every day except Mondays.

Thou must listen to the Gospel According to Grace DAILY!

Feel free to tithe when the mood's upon thee

Unless thy are chosen by the Goddess, hope not for a hiccup

On a certain day of the week, thy shall not eat something, I'll get back to you on that

Cummies without permission are sacrilege against The Holy One and shall be dealt with severely!!!

Prophet of the Goddess Princess Grace
MostHolyBilly the First
Church of the Everlasting Motherfucking Princess Grace

Will you MAKE UP YOUR MIND?

Now I've got about 40 IM windows opened from scared Goddess fearing HAND WRINGERS who want me to put The Prophecy back. Well OK then, I mean I don't want Armageddon on my hands but all this vacillating as got to stop.

The Prophecy can not be ignored! The next time you defy MostHolyBilly you will spend eternity sucking molten lava through a straw!

Prophet of the Goddess Princess Grace
MostHolyBilly the First

Go Ahead DEFY the Prophecy of BillyBear You Bastards

You get wrecked on Giantess pot after a two day decadent binge with Princess, have one lousy vision and suddenly everyone's screaming for rulings from Princess on this and on that. They can't handle my deep mystic side, my recent brush with the heavenly.

So I'm pulling the post, mulligan, didn't happen. Everybody go ahead and stroke away and when the fires start and the rain falls and everything is all steamy and stinky and the pigs fly and the monkeys screech and your hair gets dirty and your penis lies limp in your hand well ...

DON'T LOOK AT ME!

Next time I have a vision I'm keeping it to myself. SHEESH!