Did you notice they used every minute? No intro song, etc. Cast listing at the end.
Four of the final five cylon human models have been identified. Tigh, Anders, The Chief (Tyrol), and the President's assistant. Princess on a side note maybe Billy's death was more calculated than we thought so that this person could be positioned next to the President? I'm not too convinced of that though.
They believe they are cylon and one thing that lends credence to that is that cylon models can identify each other (The one Sharon model (Athena) identifying the other Sharon model as the one who shot Adama). So there's a high likely hood that they are. They are very well placed. Other than the fact that they are cylon they haven't received any instructions or executed any programming. But currently they are assuming they're cylons - might not be. Tigh is a particular problem here since he's been with Adama forever unless they could transfer in his old memories. He fought with Adama during the first cylon wars. I'm cautious with this one.
There are at least four cylon base ships in dreydis contact of the human fleet. More than enough to destroy humanity. It looked like an armada.
I liked Lee's speech and my impression of him rose quite a bit after he delivered it. His father listened, which is why I was saying don't give up on him. Baltar was acquitted, which wasn't that big of a surprise. Humanity is a gang. The speech was emotional but not very legal. I'm thinking so what? I bought it. More importantly so did his father. The blanket pardon part of it struck a chord with me. Probably for time considerations there were no closing arguments but it hurt the scene a little. The prosecution did not rebut Lee. Also I noticed after Lee was done he never answered the lawyer's original question on if Adama prejudged Baltar or not. Mistrial? Fuck it.
Was disappointed that Caprica Six never made it to the stand, would have been interesting. Was also disappointed there was no 'six in Baltar's head' scenes.
Geatta really does have it out for Baltar and the whole perjury thing was pretty accurate. People lie on the stand all the time. What does Baltar have on him?
Baltar was taken off by a bunch of his female cult followers so he'll probably end up happy. A Jesus figure - one God :-) I also loved the scene when Baltar was in his cell reverting back to his 'Baltarness' and his attorneys reaction to him, "I'm sure you'll land on your feet.'
The lawyer is an interesting character, wonder if we'll see him again - kind of doubt it.
Kara is alive - if that is Kara. She seemed remarkably calm, even clowning around with Lee in her viper. She knows where earth is and plans to take them there. But I don't think she knows that the fleet is under attack and can't jump for twenty minutes due to a mysterious power outage.
Loved the use of Dylan's song, All Along the Watchtower. I was wrong in that I told Princess that it was the Dylan original, meaning he sang it. It was not. I was hoping that the cylon models might have been picking up some radio transmission from earth, meaning they were getting close. I liked how they used lines from the song in the show, like the time Tigh approached Adama about the song and said, "There's too much confusion ..."
Laura and Adama are getting very close - loved the phone call. I think she liiikes him ...
Athena, Roslyn, Caprica Six and Hera are apparently all sharing this dream introduced in Crossroads Pt1 real time (Another group of four - just four away from 'the twelve lords of Kobol' :-)). Hera is much older in the dream (currently she's an infant, in the dream I'd put her at four or five, a good little scamperer). There may be a 'tell' in there. Six and Athena are full fledged cylon, could Roslyn be the fifth model? Just a thought. Why would Roslyn be in a cylon dream if she wasn't one? Could be Hera's blood in her veins though - arrrgggghhhh!!! - LOL
The shattered look on Tigh's face, I mean what a mind fuck for that poor bastard, his plaintive, "What about Helen?" Sharing that look with the President's assistant when the armada appeared. The fear.
What caused the fleet wide power outage?
I'm liking the 'third party' theory more and more.
Your thoughts? Are you glad I didn't "spill"? The rumor was spot on.
Some other news:
“Battlestar Galactica” is getting a two-hour TV-movie this autumn and a 20-episode fourth season in 2008.
Production will resume in May with an eye toward a early 2008 season premiere. That's like fucking nine months away before this story continues. Gods help us all! - sigh - that will give us enough time to get a good letter writing campaign going to get this thing moved back to Fridays - LMAO
The “Galactica” TV-movie will tell the tale of Admiral Cain and the battlestar Pegasus. A DVD of the TV-movie will be issued a few days after the movie airs on SciFi.
Moore sounds perhaps more pessimistic about the “Galactica” prequel series, “Caprica,” ever seeing the light of day.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
DAMMIT to Hellllllll!
Billybear grabs mittens, paints her Carolina Blue and throws her out with the barn cats.
You're their bitch now mittens!!!! I'll get your ass out of there when Carolina finally hits another GOD DAMNED field goal - son of a BITCH!!!
Sheesh - I feel your pain Kc!!!
good times ... good times
You're their bitch now mittens!!!! I'll get your ass out of there when Carolina finally hits another GOD DAMNED field goal - son of a BITCH!!!
Sheesh - I feel your pain Kc!!!
good times ... good times
What a Weekend
Hi there. What an interesting weekend I'm having.
It's Friday, Princess time. So I get on my bank and take a hard look at the Visa, decide I can afford this.
There are several things motivating me, but primarily it's the dumb ass calender. I'm a bit of calendar watcher. For various reasons that Princess is aware of the next three Fridays will be something of a problem for both of us at varying times. I make a decision to 'borrow' against that time.
I open an IM asking Her to keep my traditional Friday open. She reminds me of my blues and I explain to Her my reasoning for the request. I just find that so endearing about her! I don't have to beg Her to spend my money but She's giving me a definite sanity check. Like She said in Her Obedience post:
I'm an adult, I'm not thinking with my dick at the moment (hard to do in the office, particularly a cubicle) and I'm telling Her I can afford it. Cool beans from Her side of the line, we're a go.
One thing I learned during the call was the Princess and MsKate have done a few two girl calls together and really enjoy each other and play well together (and that was the extent of the detail BTW). Based on some of the giggles and sly comments Jem, me thinks you are in trouble, you lucky girl! Methinks you'll get to play the role of "the giggly one." I think it would be safe to say that your upcoming call with those two is definitely being considered by them :-)
This was suppose to be an around the world call, in other words I wanted to do it all and try and keep it inside of an hour without both of us sounding like auctioneers. We chat, giggle, get caught up, gab about Battle Star - a lot. I know things about that show from spoiler sites that She doesn't know. We end up playing the Really Want to Know game.
Billybear you have to tell me, does Starbuck survive?
Do you really want to know?
::pause:: You bastard!
Billybear are the final five Cylon models revealed?
Four are remember they want to keep ambiguity about Baltar
Oh yeah I think boytoy told me that too. Who are they?
Do you really want to know?
::pause:: You bastard!
I had told Her earlier that I wish I didn't know, but I can't help but look. As I write this Princess is about six hours from enjoying a hell of a good episode of BSG!
A little bit of gab later and She's telling me my hour is up. But ... but ... what about my wookie?! She says we can play but it will have to be quick (I suspect She had another date on deck). I mull this over and decide to pass. I don't want either of us to feel rushed about any part of the call.
The next morning I am just incredibly horny. I can jack off of course and Princess has told me to do that waaay before I get stupid. I'm trying to explain to her that it's just better with Her and She's saying She understands that but it's still a release and given my upcoming schedule etc I sure as shit better take it if needed.
I'm beginning to think that my fate will not be that of a denial pet. I'm not sure why being one is kinda sorta important to me, Princess probably knows better than I do why. More on this later. But it is going to boil down to the fact that it just isn't me.
So it's Saturday morning and I open Yahoo messanger, mark myself available and go about my browsing. Around 10AM I notice that Princess is in the chatroom! OMG! I pop in there (seeing her in there at that time of day is a first for me) and start chatting. There are nine or so folk in there.
bb: MsGrace I noticed you're active in IM, does this mean You're taking calls?
MG: I could probably be convinced to take a call
bb: bats eyes
MG: no no no billybear you spoke with me last night remember?
As if I've forgotten any call with Her, ever. But the seed is planted. One other thing I learned is what Her favorite movie from the eighties is. It might make for a fun trivia question on Hers and MsKate's Midnight Madness event.
So after She leaves the chatroom I pop open an IM to Her thanking her for the chatroom time and telling that I'm the worlds biggest pig and if in the next few days I really, really need to get together for a twenty minute call to take care of my little problem. Yes I can jack off but probably have about three weeks of that ahead of me and please, please PLEASE.
She replies back "sure :-)"
I do wuv Her so.
So I get an unexpected opening on Saturday afternoon. IM Her and nada. I get another opportunity Saturday night and after waiting a bit, when I'm typing in my "Have a great night Princess" message She replies back She was just coming to get me and is it too late? Nope. Right on the edge of too late though.
I call. I am incredibly giddy. Goofy giddy.
She answers with Her, "Helllooo" which has the tone of sunshine in it. I suavely reply, "gjknnf jdus fdn huh huh huh"
"What do you want to talk about tonight billy? How do you want to play?"
Billybear immediately draws a huge fucking blank, "Ummm, I'm not sure Princess"
She laughs and says, "You mean you've been begging me all day and you don't even know what you want to talk about?"
"Well I have some ideas. I'm thinking a dash of humiliation and blah, blah, blah"
"Humiliation? You flirt with the idea of having 'your secret' exposed from time to time but I don't really think you want that. Not really."
"But this is just a call Princess, heck I don't know" One of my big worries (and I have to stop worrying about this) is that I'll be too repetitive. Essentially I want to get off, with Her. That doesn't mean I necessarily need Her to get off but I want Her there on the other end of the line. I also want to experiment a little.
Princess serves up a perfect little humiliation fantasy with a nice and very unusual setting. By the end of the fantasy She's pretty much eliminated the crowd and it's just the two of us. I came very, very hard.
After I settle down a bit we discuss it some. I do not like humiliation all that much. I sent Her an email this morning telling Her what I did and did not like about the fantasy.
Here's the thing. It was a fantastic call!!! I have been calling Princess exclusively since last October. Like she mentioned in another post of Hers or a comment, that's my choice and this call illustrates one big reason why I choose to do so.
She knows me, very well and I know Her very well.
We both were very relaxed about this. She knows all my buttons, I don't have to explain anything to Her, break her in. She's telling me that this might not be my thing (humiliation) and we're casual about it. Let's try it, She knows how to play it for me and where to go. I doubt if I'm getting this across to the uninitiated on this type of thinking but I doubt if the uninitiated read my blog. I think the call went thirty mins but to be honest I don't know. What I've learned about myself during this call was a lot and well between me and Princess.
What I'm saying here is that I so much appreciate our relationship and that's what it is, pure and simple. I like where we are at, I like where we're going. I just hope we can get back to a more stable schedule. I think we both like the idea of about every Friday we're going to talk, no worries. When that doesn't happen then trying to figure out alternative dates is very difficult for me.
Like Princess mentioned earlier, "I know them...they are so very close to Me."
And we pets know you too Princess and you are so very close to us.
Soft smile
PS: Four and a half hours to go - BSG! :-)
It's Friday, Princess time. So I get on my bank and take a hard look at the Visa, decide I can afford this.
There are several things motivating me, but primarily it's the dumb ass calender. I'm a bit of calendar watcher. For various reasons that Princess is aware of the next three Fridays will be something of a problem for both of us at varying times. I make a decision to 'borrow' against that time.
I open an IM asking Her to keep my traditional Friday open. She reminds me of my blues and I explain to Her my reasoning for the request. I just find that so endearing about her! I don't have to beg Her to spend my money but She's giving me a definite sanity check. Like She said in Her Obedience post:
I worry about My pets, I am concerned, I know them...they are so very close to Me.
I'm an adult, I'm not thinking with my dick at the moment (hard to do in the office, particularly a cubicle) and I'm telling Her I can afford it. Cool beans from Her side of the line, we're a go.
One thing I learned during the call was the Princess and MsKate have done a few two girl calls together and really enjoy each other and play well together (and that was the extent of the detail BTW). Based on some of the giggles and sly comments Jem, me thinks you are in trouble, you lucky girl! Methinks you'll get to play the role of "the giggly one." I think it would be safe to say that your upcoming call with those two is definitely being considered by them :-)
This was suppose to be an around the world call, in other words I wanted to do it all and try and keep it inside of an hour without both of us sounding like auctioneers. We chat, giggle, get caught up, gab about Battle Star - a lot. I know things about that show from spoiler sites that She doesn't know. We end up playing the Really Want to Know game.
Billybear you have to tell me, does Starbuck survive?
Do you really want to know?
::pause:: You bastard!
Billybear are the final five Cylon models revealed?
Four are remember they want to keep ambiguity about Baltar
Oh yeah I think boytoy told me that too. Who are they?
Do you really want to know?
::pause:: You bastard!
I had told Her earlier that I wish I didn't know, but I can't help but look. As I write this Princess is about six hours from enjoying a hell of a good episode of BSG!
A little bit of gab later and She's telling me my hour is up. But ... but ... what about my wookie?! She says we can play but it will have to be quick (I suspect She had another date on deck). I mull this over and decide to pass. I don't want either of us to feel rushed about any part of the call.
The next morning I am just incredibly horny. I can jack off of course and Princess has told me to do that waaay before I get stupid. I'm trying to explain to her that it's just better with Her and She's saying She understands that but it's still a release and given my upcoming schedule etc I sure as shit better take it if needed.
I'm beginning to think that my fate will not be that of a denial pet. I'm not sure why being one is kinda sorta important to me, Princess probably knows better than I do why. More on this later. But it is going to boil down to the fact that it just isn't me.
So it's Saturday morning and I open Yahoo messanger, mark myself available and go about my browsing. Around 10AM I notice that Princess is in the chatroom! OMG! I pop in there (seeing her in there at that time of day is a first for me) and start chatting. There are nine or so folk in there.
bb: MsGrace I noticed you're active in IM, does this mean You're taking calls?
MG: I could probably be convinced to take a call
bb: bats eyes
MG: no no no billybear you spoke with me last night remember?
As if I've forgotten any call with Her, ever. But the seed is planted. One other thing I learned is what Her favorite movie from the eighties is. It might make for a fun trivia question on Hers and MsKate's Midnight Madness event.
So after She leaves the chatroom I pop open an IM to Her thanking her for the chatroom time and telling that I'm the worlds biggest pig and if in the next few days I really, really need to get together for a twenty minute call to take care of my little problem. Yes I can jack off but probably have about three weeks of that ahead of me and please, please PLEASE.
She replies back "sure :-)"
I do wuv Her so.
So I get an unexpected opening on Saturday afternoon. IM Her and nada. I get another opportunity Saturday night and after waiting a bit, when I'm typing in my "Have a great night Princess" message She replies back She was just coming to get me and is it too late? Nope. Right on the edge of too late though.
I call. I am incredibly giddy. Goofy giddy.
She answers with Her, "Helllooo" which has the tone of sunshine in it. I suavely reply, "gjknnf jdus fdn huh huh huh"
"What do you want to talk about tonight billy? How do you want to play?"
Billybear immediately draws a huge fucking blank, "Ummm, I'm not sure Princess"
She laughs and says, "You mean you've been begging me all day and you don't even know what you want to talk about?"
"Well I have some ideas. I'm thinking a dash of humiliation and blah, blah, blah"
"Humiliation? You flirt with the idea of having 'your secret' exposed from time to time but I don't really think you want that. Not really."
"But this is just a call Princess, heck I don't know" One of my big worries (and I have to stop worrying about this) is that I'll be too repetitive. Essentially I want to get off, with Her. That doesn't mean I necessarily need Her to get off but I want Her there on the other end of the line. I also want to experiment a little.
Princess serves up a perfect little humiliation fantasy with a nice and very unusual setting. By the end of the fantasy She's pretty much eliminated the crowd and it's just the two of us. I came very, very hard.
After I settle down a bit we discuss it some. I do not like humiliation all that much. I sent Her an email this morning telling Her what I did and did not like about the fantasy.
Here's the thing. It was a fantastic call!!! I have been calling Princess exclusively since last October. Like she mentioned in another post of Hers or a comment, that's my choice and this call illustrates one big reason why I choose to do so.
She knows me, very well and I know Her very well.
We both were very relaxed about this. She knows all my buttons, I don't have to explain anything to Her, break her in. She's telling me that this might not be my thing (humiliation) and we're casual about it. Let's try it, She knows how to play it for me and where to go. I doubt if I'm getting this across to the uninitiated on this type of thinking but I doubt if the uninitiated read my blog. I think the call went thirty mins but to be honest I don't know. What I've learned about myself during this call was a lot and well between me and Princess.
What I'm saying here is that I so much appreciate our relationship and that's what it is, pure and simple. I like where we are at, I like where we're going. I just hope we can get back to a more stable schedule. I think we both like the idea of about every Friday we're going to talk, no worries. When that doesn't happen then trying to figure out alternative dates is very difficult for me.
Like Princess mentioned earlier, "I know them...they are so very close to Me."
And we pets know you too Princess and you are so very close to us.
Soft smile
PS: Four and a half hours to go - BSG! :-)
Friday, March 23, 2007
Shhhhh ...
Handjobs. Your thoughts?
Personally I love them! I've found they also work really well for me in a phone sex setting. Back in my slut days some of the girls would be pretty adept at describing blowjobs and that may work for you but I've always had trouble in a phone sex situation where the girl is talking about blowing me because in the back of my malicious mind I'm going, um, how are you talking to me?
I told MsGrace a story about a handjob I got in high school when I was (billybear checks various state statutes) eighteen, yeah eighteen. And what is this endless fantasizing about young girls? I don't get that but then again I'm six ways weird if you ask ace. I was in Starbucks this morning having them change my IV when these two high school girls come in. Well spring is in the air let me tell you with their too tight low-rider jeans and flat flat tummies, budding breasts all pert and pokey. Oh yes the billybear mind kicks into overdrive and the same fantasy plays out every time!
Billybear dressed in his finest tux approaches the two unsuspecting lambs. In his best Barry White voice he says, "Hello my treasures, might I inquire as to your names?" while dangling the keys to the family mini-van in the most enticing manner.
Popping gum, with the vacuous, it's all about me stares that only the teenager can manage they reply, "My name is 'felony' and my name is 'seven years without probation'" while giggling in the most delightful manner!
Screeeeeech end of fantasy
As I've trudged along this death march called life I've made some discoveries. I've mentioned it before and I'll mention it again. Women, I love them and more and more, even in the fantasy arena I've come to appreciate a good mind far more than a tight body. Oh what delights a good naughty mind can provide! Princess is blessed with both. Billybear stares off into space recalling his last Princess conversation, both the naughty bits and the not naughty bits ... yummy.
Where was I? ::glares at himself for getting off topic::
Oh yeah, the high school handjob. When is Disney making that movie? Anyway my date and I went to a movie theater and deliberately picked a bad movie because we knew it would be lightly attended. I was hoping for a little boobie action, some serious kissing with soft whispers of "Oh I love you soooo much" that you mean completely when you're that age. That wonderful, hopelessly doomed mad dash up her inner thigh for the holy grail called 'third base.'
Those truly were good times.
This was my first taste of learning who really drove the bus. It fits into that old adage, "The only one who knows if you're going to get lucky tonight is your girlfriend" or something like that.
I didn't know it at the time but she had other ideas in mind. Her name was (and still is) Kathy. It was jacket wearing weather. We weren't at the back of the theater, novices that we were, we were in the middle way off on the right hand side. After the movie started and the kissing and the preliminary attempts at petting she took her fancy jacket and put it over my lap.
Being the nimrod idiot unexperienced dolt that I was I thought, "I'm not cold" and took it off and put it on the chair next to me. She emits this exasperated sigh, reaches over me (her breasts pressing into my side - bonus points for being dumb!) places her jacket back on my lap and puts her right hand high up my inner right thigh. She has this impish grin in her face and her body language and expression scream, "Get it?"
Oh yeah! billybear is all over that page!
She's kissing me and her hand is sliding s-l-o-w-l-y up my inner thigh. I'm being a total boy and trying to help her out some. This may be (if it's not genetic) where girls start learning the power of the tease. It's one of the wonderful differences between the sexes that I've noticed. I think it's an X and Y chromosome difference but I could be wrong.
A girl places her hand on her boy's inner thigh and starts sliding it up and at least in my case I immediately spread my legs, but not too wide or the fabric of my jeans will be too tight across my crotch defeating the purpose, and begin skunching my butt down the seat towards her hand. What's the hold up here? I'm in such pathetic need for intimate contact that I've nearly slid off the chair, or couch or whatever trying to hurry along that wonderful, soft female hand. I want her touch and I want it now!
With a girl, again in my case, it's more of a battle. A wonderful battle! You both know it's gonna happen but she wants to be wooed, convinced that this is the right thing to do. I just love that! The process is slower, more give and take, your hand sides up, you hear the warning moan of "too fast" and you retreat but not as far back, you kiss her neck, smell her perfume, delight in her bated breath, her femininity, try again until you feel her thighs truly part. In my experience with all things female a woman likes to be seduced. She wants to enjoy the moment. Boys are more impatient :-) Your mileage may vary.
So Kathy's hand has reached my naughty bits and after some encouraging rubbing, she's unzipping my pants. I don't know about you but I just love that part! The fly goes down and her hand slides in, exploring, finally dipping under the suddenly too fucking tight waistband of my tighty whities (what was I thinking wearing those tonight?) and pulling me free. The slow tentative up/down up/down motion begins.
A secondary battle was raging at this time. The one for control. Kathy was well positioned to win this battle. She's nestled in along my right side, my right arm around her, her head pillowing on my shoulder. She's looking down at her jacket, studying the motion of her hand and arm, up and down, up and down under it. I'm trying to reach my right hand around her back to touch her breast. My left hand is on her knee and my position is beginning to feel like spaghetti. Then it happens.
Softly she whispers in my ear, "Shhhhhh billybear, shhhhhhh"
And my hands grow quiet, cease their assault. My right hand begins to slowly move across her bra strap. I don't know why I love that sensation of feeling a girl's bra strap through her blouse but I do, to this day. Then my right hand stops that too. I'm docile. Hers.
I get my first "giggle" in my life. I don't get the "good boy" but I feel it in my soul. Kathy knows she's safe, and in total control. I'm feeling her hair against my cheek, smelling her perfume, her shampoo, all the scents that comprise her. Listening to her breathing.
She assumes a more dominant position, turning more sideways to me. Her hand is moving faster and I'm dribbling precum making things slippery, you know, helping out. She's studying me now, watching. She's also keeping her eye out for other movie goers, protecting us. She can see that 'stupid look' on my face and intuitively knows I'm gone. 'Stupid look' is too harsh a term but it's sort of accurate. She knows that I'm going deep into my head, sliding away from the reality of the moment, just feeling. Thinking naughty billybear thoughts. Gone.
She's listening to my moans, and whimpers of pleasure, periodically shushing me if I get a little too loud or enthusiastic. Her hand is moving faster, more insistent, demanding my orgasm.
I cum. Buckets.
Another giggle. She continues her motions until I'm soft, then she puts me away and zips me up. I kiss her, softly, in gratitude.
Later it's discovered that I came all over her fucking fancy jacket! This is for some reason my fault and she's pissed off about it. It's cold outside and I give her my jacket to wear, carrying hers back to the car. She was somewhat mollified by that, but it's still my fault!
In the RealWorld what I've discovered is that I win 'the battle' about fifty percent of the time. I find this in my case healthy. It's all about position and who can reach the crotch first and gain control of it (billybear has established a firm beach head high on the inner right thigh!). And then the first touch of her panties, their wetness, the soft moan of your partner when you establish contact. Wonderful! The darting glances when she realizes that it's her turn to "lose." When I utter "shhhhhh baby" and feel her grow very, very wet in my hand, quiet, listening, docile. It boils down do the trust thing that MsGrace talks about, the trust of handing over control to me, or me to her or Her.
I've also found that most girls like dirty talk, and most RealWorld girls aren't very good at it, their vocabulary consisting of, "You like that?" My "training" in phone sex has served me well in that case, soft smile. I've gotten into some seriously fun and twisted conversations with girls if I'm driving.
Anyway that's why I love handjobs, both giving and receiving. I think both sexes, every now and then need to relinquish control.
I can't speak for the Mistress's because I do not fully understand being a dominant 24/7. However I will say to my fellow human beings (of which they are included) that I hope each and every one of us has someone in our RealWorld lives where we can, when needed, hand over control. Here, YOU drive for a bit!
Shhhhhhhh ...
Personally I love them! I've found they also work really well for me in a phone sex setting. Back in my slut days some of the girls would be pretty adept at describing blowjobs and that may work for you but I've always had trouble in a phone sex situation where the girl is talking about blowing me because in the back of my malicious mind I'm going, um, how are you talking to me?
I told MsGrace a story about a handjob I got in high school when I was (billybear checks various state statutes) eighteen, yeah eighteen. And what is this endless fantasizing about young girls? I don't get that but then again I'm six ways weird if you ask ace. I was in Starbucks this morning having them change my IV when these two high school girls come in. Well spring is in the air let me tell you with their too tight low-rider jeans and flat flat tummies, budding breasts all pert and pokey. Oh yes the billybear mind kicks into overdrive and the same fantasy plays out every time!
Billybear dressed in his finest tux approaches the two unsuspecting lambs. In his best Barry White voice he says, "Hello my treasures, might I inquire as to your names?" while dangling the keys to the family mini-van in the most enticing manner.
Popping gum, with the vacuous, it's all about me stares that only the teenager can manage they reply, "My name is 'felony' and my name is 'seven years without probation'" while giggling in the most delightful manner!
Screeeeeech end of fantasy
As I've trudged along this death march called life I've made some discoveries. I've mentioned it before and I'll mention it again. Women, I love them and more and more, even in the fantasy arena I've come to appreciate a good mind far more than a tight body. Oh what delights a good naughty mind can provide! Princess is blessed with both. Billybear stares off into space recalling his last Princess conversation, both the naughty bits and the not naughty bits ... yummy.
Where was I? ::glares at himself for getting off topic::
Oh yeah, the high school handjob. When is Disney making that movie? Anyway my date and I went to a movie theater and deliberately picked a bad movie because we knew it would be lightly attended. I was hoping for a little boobie action, some serious kissing with soft whispers of "Oh I love you soooo much" that you mean completely when you're that age. That wonderful, hopelessly doomed mad dash up her inner thigh for the holy grail called 'third base.'
Those truly were good times.
This was my first taste of learning who really drove the bus. It fits into that old adage, "The only one who knows if you're going to get lucky tonight is your girlfriend" or something like that.
I didn't know it at the time but she had other ideas in mind. Her name was (and still is) Kathy. It was jacket wearing weather. We weren't at the back of the theater, novices that we were, we were in the middle way off on the right hand side. After the movie started and the kissing and the preliminary attempts at petting she took her fancy jacket and put it over my lap.
Being the nimrod idiot unexperienced dolt that I was I thought, "I'm not cold" and took it off and put it on the chair next to me. She emits this exasperated sigh, reaches over me (her breasts pressing into my side - bonus points for being dumb!) places her jacket back on my lap and puts her right hand high up my inner right thigh. She has this impish grin in her face and her body language and expression scream, "Get it?"
Oh yeah! billybear is all over that page!
She's kissing me and her hand is sliding s-l-o-w-l-y up my inner thigh. I'm being a total boy and trying to help her out some. This may be (if it's not genetic) where girls start learning the power of the tease. It's one of the wonderful differences between the sexes that I've noticed. I think it's an X and Y chromosome difference but I could be wrong.
A girl places her hand on her boy's inner thigh and starts sliding it up and at least in my case I immediately spread my legs, but not too wide or the fabric of my jeans will be too tight across my crotch defeating the purpose, and begin skunching my butt down the seat towards her hand. What's the hold up here? I'm in such pathetic need for intimate contact that I've nearly slid off the chair, or couch or whatever trying to hurry along that wonderful, soft female hand. I want her touch and I want it now!
With a girl, again in my case, it's more of a battle. A wonderful battle! You both know it's gonna happen but she wants to be wooed, convinced that this is the right thing to do. I just love that! The process is slower, more give and take, your hand sides up, you hear the warning moan of "too fast" and you retreat but not as far back, you kiss her neck, smell her perfume, delight in her bated breath, her femininity, try again until you feel her thighs truly part. In my experience with all things female a woman likes to be seduced. She wants to enjoy the moment. Boys are more impatient :-) Your mileage may vary.
So Kathy's hand has reached my naughty bits and after some encouraging rubbing, she's unzipping my pants. I don't know about you but I just love that part! The fly goes down and her hand slides in, exploring, finally dipping under the suddenly too fucking tight waistband of my tighty whities (what was I thinking wearing those tonight?) and pulling me free. The slow tentative up/down up/down motion begins.
A secondary battle was raging at this time. The one for control. Kathy was well positioned to win this battle. She's nestled in along my right side, my right arm around her, her head pillowing on my shoulder. She's looking down at her jacket, studying the motion of her hand and arm, up and down, up and down under it. I'm trying to reach my right hand around her back to touch her breast. My left hand is on her knee and my position is beginning to feel like spaghetti. Then it happens.
Softly she whispers in my ear, "Shhhhhh billybear, shhhhhhh"
And my hands grow quiet, cease their assault. My right hand begins to slowly move across her bra strap. I don't know why I love that sensation of feeling a girl's bra strap through her blouse but I do, to this day. Then my right hand stops that too. I'm docile. Hers.
I get my first "giggle" in my life. I don't get the "good boy" but I feel it in my soul. Kathy knows she's safe, and in total control. I'm feeling her hair against my cheek, smelling her perfume, her shampoo, all the scents that comprise her. Listening to her breathing.
She assumes a more dominant position, turning more sideways to me. Her hand is moving faster and I'm dribbling precum making things slippery, you know, helping out. She's studying me now, watching. She's also keeping her eye out for other movie goers, protecting us. She can see that 'stupid look' on my face and intuitively knows I'm gone. 'Stupid look' is too harsh a term but it's sort of accurate. She knows that I'm going deep into my head, sliding away from the reality of the moment, just feeling. Thinking naughty billybear thoughts. Gone.
She's listening to my moans, and whimpers of pleasure, periodically shushing me if I get a little too loud or enthusiastic. Her hand is moving faster, more insistent, demanding my orgasm.
I cum. Buckets.
Another giggle. She continues her motions until I'm soft, then she puts me away and zips me up. I kiss her, softly, in gratitude.
Later it's discovered that I came all over her fucking fancy jacket! This is for some reason my fault and she's pissed off about it. It's cold outside and I give her my jacket to wear, carrying hers back to the car. She was somewhat mollified by that, but it's still my fault!
In the RealWorld what I've discovered is that I win 'the battle' about fifty percent of the time. I find this in my case healthy. It's all about position and who can reach the crotch first and gain control of it (billybear has established a firm beach head high on the inner right thigh!). And then the first touch of her panties, their wetness, the soft moan of your partner when you establish contact. Wonderful! The darting glances when she realizes that it's her turn to "lose." When I utter "shhhhhh baby" and feel her grow very, very wet in my hand, quiet, listening, docile. It boils down do the trust thing that MsGrace talks about, the trust of handing over control to me, or me to her or Her.
I've also found that most girls like dirty talk, and most RealWorld girls aren't very good at it, their vocabulary consisting of, "You like that?" My "training" in phone sex has served me well in that case, soft smile. I've gotten into some seriously fun and twisted conversations with girls if I'm driving.
Anyway that's why I love handjobs, both giving and receiving. I think both sexes, every now and then need to relinquish control.
I can't speak for the Mistress's because I do not fully understand being a dominant 24/7. However I will say to my fellow human beings (of which they are included) that I hope each and every one of us has someone in our RealWorld lives where we can, when needed, hand over control. Here, YOU drive for a bit!
Shhhhhhhh ...
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Well Intentioned Blues
A comment in jem's blog by the mysterious, murky lbb fired off a mass of synapses (both of them!) in my head causing me to write some monster War and Peace type of comment which I deleted without even a glance.The nature of the conversation spun around the fact that more and more of us are noticing that our orgasms are not as much fun without MsGrace's involvement in some manner.
lbb said, "The intense feelings of pure pleasure are not there when she doesn't give permission to cum." To which I replied, "Yeah, how does She do that?" and idly speculated that it might also have something to do with Her Obedience post.
How does She do that? That's easy in my case. I let Her or let's say I'm willing and want to let Her in to work that special magic that is just Hers on little ol' me.
But for me it's a little different. MsGrace has given me effectively permission to cum anytime I need to. Regular readers of this blog will know why. The thing is that I'm to the point now where I will wait for Her anyway anymore. Another thing that seems to be happening to me is that the conversation is becoming more important than the play. It's a different sort of play I guess. I very much have grown to love the talk. It makes me feel closer to Her and I like that.
I get confused. How can I give? I want to give to Her ...
Recently well ten days or so ago I had a wonderful call with Princess. I purchased a gift for Her. She had no idea that was going to happen, not till I told Her to check Her wish list.
So why did I do it?
Well one reason is the obvious one, to please Her. I think I accomplished that. The other one might be pure billybear. I'm afraid I don't have a lot of discretionary cash and must operate under a budget. The gift I purchased for Her effectively sealed my fate with regards to future calls for awhile.
There will be no more calls until May. OK mid April ... I think I can make mid April
That was the gift. I have deliberately sacrificed my pleasure in the hopes of giving well something. LMAOOOOO Super! Now I'm not even sure what the point was in this harsh daylight. I mean, we sacrifice our orgasms for Her, our pleasure. My hope was that I wanted to give something to Her that had significance to me. It wasn't the thing I purchased it was the calls denied.
Now I think I messed up.
I get confused.
Now I'm thinking that Princess would have preferred the calls. She of course had no idea what her nutty bear had in mind until it was all over. Princess Grace is a very good person which is why I adore Her!
Had She known (the lost calls) She would have stopped me but I had structured the "game" in such a way She could not know. In my misguided gesture to please Her I think I've done just the opposite.
So I've meandered down a different path then the original intent of the blog entry.
What I hope She takes away from this post is that I did that gift thing with the best of intentions! I hate disappointing Her, more than anything I hate that. I try hard to please Her and not so She'll keep me around as Her pet or anything like that. I try hard to please Her because of one simple fact.
MsGrace is worth pleasing because of who She is, which is much much more than I will ever fathom. She is complex and contradictory. One possible way to describe one of Her myriad facets is to say She's an incredibly bright, intelligent bubble head. She'll come at you sideways with that so heads up, not that it will matter - LOL. There is so much about Her to know and more importantly to me, worth knowing. I hope I can continue to hang out with Her. I do like and wuv Her so.
I hope she enjoys the gift too! The one I purchased. I hope when She looks at it from time to time She gets a chuckle at Her goofy dingy billybear and his misguided attempts to please. Even though he frequently fucks up he does truly mean well.
In this fun, tumultuous daycare called Princess Grace's Playground I must be fitting the role of that one toddler Princess always has to keep an eye on. Of course She can't, there are so many to watch and we well intentioned trouble makers have a way of slipping under the radar, waddling off to hurt ourselves in some manner.
lbb who is legend to this humble fruitcake assures me that "all will be ok." I think he's right, as long as my screw ups are well intentioned and not malicious, Princess will forgive my mistakes.
Well I did this to myself and I'm one of those actions have consequences nerds (billy savagely kicks at Mittens who tauntingly keeps just out of reach mocking him in his latest folly). I will endeavor to keep in touch with MsGrace through this blog or email, be at TeaseTimes and play that wonderful wonderful call in my head over and over again. And before you know it, it will be tomorrow ... sigh. I gotta say truthfully though, that the call and the surprise gift that whole time on the phone, that whole scene was so worth it for me, and like She said when I went on my little trip to boob mountain, She'll be here, waiting for me.
With best, if misguided intentions
Your billybear
nervous giggle, wrings paws
lbb said, "The intense feelings of pure pleasure are not there when she doesn't give permission to cum." To which I replied, "Yeah, how does She do that?" and idly speculated that it might also have something to do with Her Obedience post.
How does She do that? That's easy in my case. I let Her or let's say I'm willing and want to let Her in to work that special magic that is just Hers on little ol' me.
But for me it's a little different. MsGrace has given me effectively permission to cum anytime I need to. Regular readers of this blog will know why. The thing is that I'm to the point now where I will wait for Her anyway anymore. Another thing that seems to be happening to me is that the conversation is becoming more important than the play. It's a different sort of play I guess. I very much have grown to love the talk. It makes me feel closer to Her and I like that.
I get confused. How can I give? I want to give to Her ...
Recently well ten days or so ago I had a wonderful call with Princess. I purchased a gift for Her. She had no idea that was going to happen, not till I told Her to check Her wish list.
So why did I do it?
Well one reason is the obvious one, to please Her. I think I accomplished that. The other one might be pure billybear. I'm afraid I don't have a lot of discretionary cash and must operate under a budget. The gift I purchased for Her effectively sealed my fate with regards to future calls for awhile.
There will be no more calls until May. OK mid April ... I think I can make mid April
That was the gift. I have deliberately sacrificed my pleasure in the hopes of giving well something. LMAOOOOO Super! Now I'm not even sure what the point was in this harsh daylight. I mean, we sacrifice our orgasms for Her, our pleasure. My hope was that I wanted to give something to Her that had significance to me. It wasn't the thing I purchased it was the calls denied.
Now I think I messed up.
I get confused.
Now I'm thinking that Princess would have preferred the calls. She of course had no idea what her nutty bear had in mind until it was all over. Princess Grace is a very good person which is why I adore Her!
Had She known (the lost calls) She would have stopped me but I had structured the "game" in such a way She could not know. In my misguided gesture to please Her I think I've done just the opposite.
So I've meandered down a different path then the original intent of the blog entry.
What I hope She takes away from this post is that I did that gift thing with the best of intentions! I hate disappointing Her, more than anything I hate that. I try hard to please Her and not so She'll keep me around as Her pet or anything like that. I try hard to please Her because of one simple fact.
MsGrace is worth pleasing because of who She is, which is much much more than I will ever fathom. She is complex and contradictory. One possible way to describe one of Her myriad facets is to say She's an incredibly bright, intelligent bubble head. She'll come at you sideways with that so heads up, not that it will matter - LOL. There is so much about Her to know and more importantly to me, worth knowing. I hope I can continue to hang out with Her. I do like and wuv Her so.
I hope she enjoys the gift too! The one I purchased. I hope when She looks at it from time to time She gets a chuckle at Her goofy dingy billybear and his misguided attempts to please. Even though he frequently fucks up he does truly mean well.
In this fun, tumultuous daycare called Princess Grace's Playground I must be fitting the role of that one toddler Princess always has to keep an eye on. Of course She can't, there are so many to watch and we well intentioned trouble makers have a way of slipping under the radar, waddling off to hurt ourselves in some manner.
lbb who is legend to this humble fruitcake assures me that "all will be ok." I think he's right, as long as my screw ups are well intentioned and not malicious, Princess will forgive my mistakes.
Well I did this to myself and I'm one of those actions have consequences nerds (billy savagely kicks at Mittens who tauntingly keeps just out of reach mocking him in his latest folly). I will endeavor to keep in touch with MsGrace through this blog or email, be at TeaseTimes and play that wonderful wonderful call in my head over and over again. And before you know it, it will be tomorrow ... sigh. I gotta say truthfully though, that the call and the surprise gift that whole time on the phone, that whole scene was so worth it for me, and like She said when I went on my little trip to boob mountain, She'll be here, waiting for me.
With best, if misguided intentions
Your billybear
nervous giggle, wrings paws
Monday, March 19, 2007
BattleStar: Crossroads Pt1
Well from my point of view it's been something of a chore to get here. I'm unsure of your thoughts on this but all in all I've found the last four or so episodes not up to my expectations vis-a-vis writing.
I didn't bother to post on Maelstrom or The Son Also Rises.
Maelstrom dealt with the death of Starbuck or her accepting her fate. Princess was right in the sense that if this episode turns out to be just a suicide then it's a waste. As I ponder that sentiment, and agree with it, it reminds me of a book written by Martin Amis called Night Train. I've reevaluated this episode with that book in mind. I was, much like Princess, angry and upset at Starbuck's just giving up and killing herself. The pointlessness of it all, the stupidity, the anger I felt towards the writers (effectively Starbuck but for some reason I always look at movies, TV shows through the writer's eyes - go figure).
Well isn't that the exact sort of emotion one would feel towards someone who really committed ignoble suicide. That angry, hurt, WHY?! I now cock my head at this episode with that in mind and say "not bad." I know too much about this (Starbuck's fate) ... sigh.
The Son Also Rises introduced Baltar's lawyer and put Lee at Baltar's defense table.
Crossroads Pt1. is the first half of the two part season finale. Finally the Cylons are starting to come back around! Some people are hearing weird music coming from either an old radio or the ship itself, the one's I identified were Tigh, Starbuck's widower (Anders?), Roslyn's aide and I think the chief. No explanation on this yet.
I'm sort of rolling my eyes (I love when Princess does that) at Lee Adama. I believe he's honestly trying to break himself from his father's mold but is letting himself get severely manipulated by Baltar's attorney in his quest to "find himself." By the end of the episode his wife who he spent the last four or so episodes reconciling with is leaving him because of his defense of Baltar.
Roslyn's cancer is back (if she's telling the truth :-)) and so she's taking "Kamala" again to fight it. This is also giving her visions which seem to involve her, Hera, Six, Athena and the five dudes in the white robes. It's unclear where they're going with this, other than Hera runs into Six's arms. Did anyone pick up any clues?
I thought Roslyn was awesome in the episode particularly on the stand when Lee was cross examining her and that tiny, "Please don't do this ..." and when he did, boy howdy did she give as good as she got. I also liked her comment to her aide, "I need someone who will drag a comb through her hair once a week" pretty funny too.
There's a cult that is forming around Baltar which is probably why he hasn't shaved, so he looks more like Jesus. Though the Baltar in Caprica Six's head is clean shaven. So who is she really talking to? Who is Baltar really talking to? What has me wondering this is the end of Maelstrom when Starbuck turns to the Cylon in her head (Leoben) and asks if he is in fact "Leoben" and he replies, "I never said I was" or something like that.
Could the same thing be happening with Baltar and Caprica Six? Princess, could there be a third party here not Cylon, not human but a player? Well it's an interesting idea anyway.
I figure there's no way that they're finding Baltar guilty, though they should. One reason is that little extended scene they had at the end of the episode. Since they're trying him for his actions only on New Caprica (not enough evidence for his dropping the shields causing the genocide of mankind) I find his lawyer's comment, "Were his actions criminal?" telling.
I didn't bother to post on Maelstrom or The Son Also Rises.
Maelstrom dealt with the death of Starbuck or her accepting her fate. Princess was right in the sense that if this episode turns out to be just a suicide then it's a waste. As I ponder that sentiment, and agree with it, it reminds me of a book written by Martin Amis called Night Train. I've reevaluated this episode with that book in mind. I was, much like Princess, angry and upset at Starbuck's just giving up and killing herself. The pointlessness of it all, the stupidity, the anger I felt towards the writers (effectively Starbuck but for some reason I always look at movies, TV shows through the writer's eyes - go figure).
Well isn't that the exact sort of emotion one would feel towards someone who really committed ignoble suicide. That angry, hurt, WHY?! I now cock my head at this episode with that in mind and say "not bad." I know too much about this (Starbuck's fate) ... sigh.
The Son Also Rises introduced Baltar's lawyer and put Lee at Baltar's defense table.
Crossroads Pt1. is the first half of the two part season finale. Finally the Cylons are starting to come back around! Some people are hearing weird music coming from either an old radio or the ship itself, the one's I identified were Tigh, Starbuck's widower (Anders?), Roslyn's aide and I think the chief. No explanation on this yet.
I'm sort of rolling my eyes (I love when Princess does that) at Lee Adama. I believe he's honestly trying to break himself from his father's mold but is letting himself get severely manipulated by Baltar's attorney in his quest to "find himself." By the end of the episode his wife who he spent the last four or so episodes reconciling with is leaving him because of his defense of Baltar.
Roslyn's cancer is back (if she's telling the truth :-)) and so she's taking "Kamala" again to fight it. This is also giving her visions which seem to involve her, Hera, Six, Athena and the five dudes in the white robes. It's unclear where they're going with this, other than Hera runs into Six's arms. Did anyone pick up any clues?
I thought Roslyn was awesome in the episode particularly on the stand when Lee was cross examining her and that tiny, "Please don't do this ..." and when he did, boy howdy did she give as good as she got. I also liked her comment to her aide, "I need someone who will drag a comb through her hair once a week" pretty funny too.
There's a cult that is forming around Baltar which is probably why he hasn't shaved, so he looks more like Jesus. Though the Baltar in Caprica Six's head is clean shaven. So who is she really talking to? Who is Baltar really talking to? What has me wondering this is the end of Maelstrom when Starbuck turns to the Cylon in her head (Leoben) and asks if he is in fact "Leoben" and he replies, "I never said I was" or something like that.
Could the same thing be happening with Baltar and Caprica Six? Princess, could there be a third party here not Cylon, not human but a player? Well it's an interesting idea anyway.
I figure there's no way that they're finding Baltar guilty, though they should. One reason is that little extended scene they had at the end of the episode. Since they're trying him for his actions only on New Caprica (not enough evidence for his dropping the shields causing the genocide of mankind) I find his lawyer's comment, "Were his actions criminal?" telling.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
My Name is BillyBear
Hi my name is billybear
Hi billybear!!!
It's been five hours, thirty minutes since my last post!
::billybear frantically clutches his blue chip::
::applause::
Billybear looks at what he's just done, tosses his blue chip back in the pile and walks off.
Hi billybear!!!
It's been five hours, thirty minutes since my last post!
::billybear frantically clutches his blue chip::
::applause::
Billybear looks at what he's just done, tosses his blue chip back in the pile and walks off.
Helpless
Sung in a high, whiny nasally pitch to Neil Young's Helpless
There is a girl during Her Tease-Time
Who turned me into Her care bear
And in my mind
I still need a place to go,
All my fantasies are there.
Blue, blue balls loaded with need
Her cock on the rise
Teasing and taunting across my screen
Lust and desire filling my eyes
She leaves me
Helpless, helpless, helpless
Baby can you hear me now?
The cage is locked
I am lying on the floor,
Baby, moan with me somehow.
Blue, blue balls loaded with need
Her cock on the rise
Teasing and taunting fill my screen
Lust and desire filling my eyes
She leaves me
Helpless, helpless, helpless
Helpless, helpless, helpless
There is a girl during Her Tease-Time
Who turned me into Her care bear
And in my mind
I still need a place to go,
All my fantasies are there.
Blue, blue balls loaded with need
Her cock on the rise
Teasing and taunting across my screen
Lust and desire filling my eyes
She leaves me
Helpless, helpless, helpless
Baby can you hear me now?
The cage is locked
I am lying on the floor,
Baby, moan with me somehow.
Blue, blue balls loaded with need
Her cock on the rise
Teasing and taunting fill my screen
Lust and desire filling my eyes
She leaves me
Helpless, helpless, helpless
Helpless, helpless, helpless
Saturday, March 10, 2007
The Best Princess Call! (to date)
Oh my! I'm gonna share some details and couch other details and obscure other details in order to give you an accurate idea of what this call meant to me.
Now Her billybear recently returned from the deep South, my roots and what I will forever consider my home. I go there whenever I can and sort of recharge my batteries. One of the things that a Carolina boy is trained in from birth is the art of coming at you sideways. This is a North Carolinian art form. It can be used two different ways, polar opposites friendliness or hostility.
The absolute master of the coming at you sideways is the Carolina female. Their particular sport are Yankee boys followed by boys in general. They will look at a sweet yankee boy with doe like eyes, soft smiles and quiet Southern drawls and say, "Now yall come visit you hear?" To the untrained ear it sounds like an open invitation to the Carolinian ear it screams, "Fuck YOUUUUU!" And sometimes it's sincere and it does mean "hurry back" and other times it means "go away" and it's complicated and contextual and if yall aint from around these here parts you're doomed. We're masters of a complex, coded set of manners.
And the poor boy will come back again and again and again getting nowhere but frustrated and confused. The hostile Carolinian will first try to save you from yourself. If that doesn't work they'll try to kill you with kindness and if that doesn't work we'll just kill you, but politely. There are many ways to kill that don't require actual bloodshed. We've never gotten over The War of Northern Aggression and never will. Obviously we never announce we're coming at you sideways because we're always coming at you sideways, friend or foe.
Now all that open hostility above has NOTHING to do with the call with Princess but I hope illustrates its roots. I deployed the friendly version of the sideways maneuver.
It has to be at least an open secret that I absolutely adore, wuv and worship Princess! I also consider Her one of my closest friends, but I wanted to give Her a taste of what a Carolinian meant when they said they were going to come at you sideways either as friend or foe, and that can't be explained it has to be experienced. I also had another reason for doing it a reason She now knows but if I have my druthers you, my gentle readers, never will. Another one of the reasons (they were myriad) was I was hoping to show Her a little more of me, core me.
I think I managed that, I think Princess got it. Hope so. Also a little bit of magic happened. I will state as a bald fact I had nothing to do with that. Magic just happens from time to time if you're willing to let it. I'm a believer but then again there's a lot of kid in me still, I hope that never leaves.
Now all of the above was for Princess I suspect you're here for the "Juicy" bits. OK, I'm gonna share a bit of that.
Princess's voice currently has this tone in it because She's been working long hours of late. It has a sleepy warmy snuggly feel to it. Like you're starting to play but you're still under the covers having just woke up on a cold sunny morning. If you don't get it I'm sorry I did my best. It's well fuck yummy and very relaxed. Don't get the idea She wasn't 110% on the job! She was as I'm about to illustrate.
"What do you want to do tonight billy?"
"Well those two TeaseTime MP3s you did have gotten me thinking about handjobs"
"ummmm, you like handjobs ..."
I coyly reply, "Maybe ..."
"What are you wearing billy?"
"Well I have my jeans down around my uh knees and ..."
"Pull them up, zip them up, put them back on."
"Okaaayy? ..."
"Now imagine you're in your office and I come in and close the door. I come over and tell you to sit on your desk. I unzip your fly ::billy unzips:: slide My hand in and pull out My cock and start to play with it."
Patented Princess teasing and taunting ensues.
"billy take it to the very edge"
This was interesting to me because at that command I immediately was at the very edge merely waiting for the command to pull the trigger. Usually getting to the edge takes a bit of work but it's Her cock and it obeys, immediately!
"Now billy ..."
Uh oh! Those are very dangerous words coming out of Princess's mouth. She's about to negotiate from Her typical position of strength.
"Do you want to cum billy?"
And mighty Zeus ROARS, "yes ... please ... I want to cum for You ... please ..."
"ummmm 'for Me' billy, only for me" in that satisfied tone of voice that I'm speaking Her language.
And Zeus bellows his defiance, "only for You ... I'm Yours ... please"
"If you cum for Me billy you have to wear those jeans all day tomorrow ::giggle:: will you do that for Me billy? Will you cum for Me? Cum all over those jeans in a pretty Princess Pattern?"
I leave as an exercise for the reader what happened next.
Now I just went at you gentle reader a little sideways. Some of the above happened, some of it didn't but all of it's true :-)
One final note, God's truth! Magic occurred that night. I was so happy to witness it even though I had nothing to do with it, Princess wishes do come true! soft smile.
You are very, very dear to me Princess Grace. Thank you for an amazing experience!
Now Her billybear recently returned from the deep South, my roots and what I will forever consider my home. I go there whenever I can and sort of recharge my batteries. One of the things that a Carolina boy is trained in from birth is the art of coming at you sideways. This is a North Carolinian art form. It can be used two different ways, polar opposites friendliness or hostility.
The absolute master of the coming at you sideways is the Carolina female. Their particular sport are Yankee boys followed by boys in general. They will look at a sweet yankee boy with doe like eyes, soft smiles and quiet Southern drawls and say, "Now yall come visit you hear?" To the untrained ear it sounds like an open invitation to the Carolinian ear it screams, "Fuck YOUUUUU!" And sometimes it's sincere and it does mean "hurry back" and other times it means "go away" and it's complicated and contextual and if yall aint from around these here parts you're doomed. We're masters of a complex, coded set of manners.
And the poor boy will come back again and again and again getting nowhere but frustrated and confused. The hostile Carolinian will first try to save you from yourself. If that doesn't work they'll try to kill you with kindness and if that doesn't work we'll just kill you, but politely. There are many ways to kill that don't require actual bloodshed. We've never gotten over The War of Northern Aggression and never will. Obviously we never announce we're coming at you sideways because we're always coming at you sideways, friend or foe.
Now all that open hostility above has NOTHING to do with the call with Princess but I hope illustrates its roots. I deployed the friendly version of the sideways maneuver.
It has to be at least an open secret that I absolutely adore, wuv and worship Princess! I also consider Her one of my closest friends, but I wanted to give Her a taste of what a Carolinian meant when they said they were going to come at you sideways either as friend or foe, and that can't be explained it has to be experienced. I also had another reason for doing it a reason She now knows but if I have my druthers you, my gentle readers, never will. Another one of the reasons (they were myriad) was I was hoping to show Her a little more of me, core me.
I think I managed that, I think Princess got it. Hope so. Also a little bit of magic happened. I will state as a bald fact I had nothing to do with that. Magic just happens from time to time if you're willing to let it. I'm a believer but then again there's a lot of kid in me still, I hope that never leaves.
Now all of the above was for Princess I suspect you're here for the "Juicy" bits. OK, I'm gonna share a bit of that.
Princess's voice currently has this tone in it because She's been working long hours of late. It has a sleepy warmy snuggly feel to it. Like you're starting to play but you're still under the covers having just woke up on a cold sunny morning. If you don't get it I'm sorry I did my best. It's well fuck yummy and very relaxed. Don't get the idea She wasn't 110% on the job! She was as I'm about to illustrate.
"What do you want to do tonight billy?"
"Well those two TeaseTime MP3s you did have gotten me thinking about handjobs"
"ummmm, you like handjobs ..."
I coyly reply, "Maybe ..."
"What are you wearing billy?"
"Well I have my jeans down around my uh knees and ..."
"Pull them up, zip them up, put them back on."
"Okaaayy? ..."
"Now imagine you're in your office and I come in and close the door. I come over and tell you to sit on your desk. I unzip your fly ::billy unzips:: slide My hand in and pull out My cock and start to play with it."
Patented Princess teasing and taunting ensues.
"billy take it to the very edge"
This was interesting to me because at that command I immediately was at the very edge merely waiting for the command to pull the trigger. Usually getting to the edge takes a bit of work but it's Her cock and it obeys, immediately!
"Now billy ..."
Uh oh! Those are very dangerous words coming out of Princess's mouth. She's about to negotiate from Her typical position of strength.
"Do you want to cum billy?"
And mighty Zeus ROARS, "yes ... please ... I want to cum for You ... please ..."
"ummmm 'for Me' billy, only for me" in that satisfied tone of voice that I'm speaking Her language.
And Zeus bellows his defiance, "only for You ... I'm Yours ... please"
"If you cum for Me billy you have to wear those jeans all day tomorrow ::giggle:: will you do that for Me billy? Will you cum for Me? Cum all over those jeans in a pretty Princess Pattern?"
I leave as an exercise for the reader what happened next.
Now I just went at you gentle reader a little sideways. Some of the above happened, some of it didn't but all of it's true :-)
One final note, God's truth! Magic occurred that night. I was so happy to witness it even though I had nothing to do with it, Princess wishes do come true! soft smile.
You are very, very dear to me Princess Grace. Thank you for an amazing experience!
Tea Time Anarchy
I had the best time on the playground yesterday! First MsTara's Tea Time (6PM EST Friday) which spun completely out of control followed by a most fantastic Princess call!
Now I can only recall partially what happened during Tea Time probably due to the fact that I was tased twice, had a heart shaved into my care bear ass and was soundly beaten. Good times, good times. Naturally none of this was my fault, let me 'splain it to you, I'm certain you'll agree that it was tonydshrimps fault, because, well, it was.
I managed to race into Tea Time with only fifteen minutes to go. MsTara was finishing up Her interpretive dance of Al Gore's Earth in the Balance and this chick named "Princess" greets me as I enter the room. Now I normally call MsGrace 'Princess' but for the purposes of this post 'Princess' will not mean MsGrace. Got it? Well sorry if you don't.
I'm glancing at this Princess with a "do I know you?" look in my eye when tonydshrimp tosses me a KFC Original Recipe chicken wing, clearly ignoring the 'Do not feed the bears' sign. KFC Original is bad juju for care bears it makes us high, ornery and horny. Add on to that that I'm hours from what will turn out to be the best damned MsGrace call of my life (to date) and well ...
So I'm munching on this leg or wing at this picnic and Princess has disappeared behind the bushes with pothead and clouds of smoke are billowing from it kinda listening to someone reciting their Ode to a Tree, in short minding my own business. MsTara, Her eyes welling with tears casually picks up Her Taser of Terrible Tenderness (tm) and tases me with it, a clear indication of how much She missed having me about.
WHAP convulsions - oh how I've missed you so.
Princess is spinning around some tree and kinda greeting people entering the room ("Welcome to MsTara's Tea Time Gone Wild), munching on strawberries and having a "high" old time. tonydshrimp is bragging about his outfit (hard to find shorts with seventeen legs) or something like that. Evil pothead has suddenly arrived and I'm spasming on the ground, somewhat slightly irritated. The room is showing the first signs of spinning out of control, it's 7:01PM, Tea Time is technically over and no one is going anywhere.
Except me. I storm out of the room, don this massive taser proof rubber suit and reenter. While out there I IM jem telling her to hustle over to Tea Time. First (of course) I'm accused of being some sort of bizarre fetishist (duh! but it's not rubber) and Princess is sticking her tongue out at me and looking cute as heck doing it and I'm feeling the first wave of effects from the chicken tonydshrimp deliberately poisoned me with. I'm beginning to feel rather aggressive. My wookie pops out looking for trouble!
So I may have gotten a little lippy but I tend to think of it as youthful exuberance at my invulnerable state. Some may say that I was sort of slightly taunting MsTara about the loss of Her taserablility. The room is moving faster now and I'm struggling to keep up. Princess has discovered bubbles and is blowing them all over the place, MsTara is voicing her annoyance that this Princess person is not going to the beach with Her - whatever that means, girl talk I guess. While She's doing this She casually points out a hole in my defenses by unzipping the back of my rubber suit and dumping a bucket of live shrimp in it before zipping me back up.
While I rapidly exit the room tonydshrimp openly sobs at the slaughter.
I try a different angle of defense and put on my perverted elf costume. I enter the room and ask, "Better?" MsTara is openly happy and gives me a big hug. Princess RatFink is shocked and says "I'm telling MsGrace *sticks out tongue*" and I'm edging towards the Taser of Terrible Tenderness (tm).
The text in the room is flowing past like a white water rapid at this point. It was insane. And the pace never let up. The following is jumbled and maybe those who were there can fill in the blanks. I don't know when it happened but it did.
I don't know how Princess RatFink and MsTara arrived at the conclusion that I needed my ass shaved with a large heart but it happened.
Evil pothead teleported pothead to the cornfield.
tonydshrimp was showing pics of some dog the destroyer and both MsTara and Princess RatFink were cooing over the thing all girlie and stuff. Sheesh! Never forget that Mistresses and Princesses are very powerful cock controllers etc but they are also girls at heart. Tonydshrimp was employing one of the oldest tricks in the books and they both fell for it hook line and sinker.
Wish I would have thought of it.
Princess RatFink got SPANKED! Oh was that sweet! Yummy. She is the proud possessor of a pretty pink bottom now and is it cuuute! She went down swinging though and almost (so close but so far) got me in trouble. If you missed that well too darned bad.
She sprang back from it pretty quickly and was soon blowing bubbles again. Tonydshrimp went floating by in one at one point waving merrily and ignoring prophesy "When shrimps fly Armageddon arrives - Revelations 4:4"
I manage to grab the taser and renewed my care bear master race reign of terror for about twelve seconds until MsTara used her Jedi bullshit again and plucked it from my hands. Unfortunately She left it near Princess RatFink who grabbed the damned thing and tased me immediately.
Down I went.
People entering the room are confusing Princess for MsGrace. I managed to clear that up by lifting up her skirt, pulling down her panties a little and checking for a tattoo. Definitely not MsGrace but what a fine butt! Yummy. Later I got to check again and verified by visual inspection that she was actually a girl. Again yummy! It was worth the multiple slaps I received.
Probably this Princess confusion was do to the fact that she was amusing herself and all of the rest of us by doing very naughty things with a chocolate ice cream cone.
I'm in the full grips of the KFC poisoning by now and go on a royal tear about what a fighter I am during my MsGrace calls. She calls me "Zeus" You should have seen Princess RatFink sputtering and carrying on about how she was "soooo telling MsGrace" and blah blah blah.
MsTara, true friend that she is, is egging me on replacing the spade I'm digging my grave with, with a backhoe.
MsTara: "Zeus eh? A truly worthy opponent"
BillyBear: "Why MsTara, truly, I blush"
Princess RatFink is sputtering impotently and saying she most definitely is telling MsGrace and that I am in soooo much trouble. Then she shrieks out, "HI MSGRACE!" I whip around completely panicked going, "Where? WHERE is MsGrace??!!!" Nothing.
Later during my call with MsGrace She informed me that Princess RatFink relayed the wrong coordinates and MsGrace popped into the main room instead of Sissy School and she sat there for a few minutes with an expression on Her face that I sooo wish I had a picture of saying, "Where is everybody?" before bolting to Sissy School.
MsGrace, my Mistress, my friend You KNOW I wuvs You so I hope You take this in the spirit it's intended ...
LMAO LMFAOOOOO!!!
Well I'm resuming my discourse on what it is to be Zeus and how it's MsGrace's secret name for me when suddenly MsGrace DOES appear in the room.
Now this wasn't bubbly Princess Grace this was Mistress Grace. Cranky Mistress Grace, perhaps even slightly pissed off at Her wayward bear MsGrace, the "not your friend MsGrace." All that makes Her a domme, a Mistress of the highest caliber in full bloom! To see Her this way is both utterly terrifying and utterly beautiful.
I'm in BIG BIG trouble, knowing I'm doomed and slowly backing away. Princess RatFink is sticking her tongue out at me and giggling, tossing in the helpful suggestion of kicking my ass.
MsTara tosses MsGrace a transcript of my most recent "deep thoughts" which MsGrace scans.
"Zeus eh?"
"Shhhhh MsGrace, that's our secret name ..." I croak out bargaining like a cancer patient with God for one little ::giggle::
The remorseless, pitiless eyes of "The Mistress" lock onto mine freezing me in place.
She's talking to me but I was so terrified that I can't really recall the details. I know that at one point She asked what I was feeling? I replied, "A little silly"
She leads me over to MsTara who proceeds to deliver an epic ass whopping. While it's going on MsGrace is asking me questions. She wants me to spill our little secret to the room. She's pressing, and she's pressing very hard!
I'm babbling. She's telling me, "Tell me billy, tell me what you are ..." fully meaning my secret. I make one last decision and decide to go with the truth.
"I AM YOURS MSGRACE! I AM YOURS AND ALWAYS WILL BE!!!!"
"Yesss you are Mine!"
MsTara relents (probably because Her arm is out of shape, I haven't been around much) and MsGrace leads me to my corner where I start polishing my plaque with my nose. Kc entered the room at this point saying something like, "Hi BillyBear!" to which I replied, "Hi Kc, I'm a little busy at the moment." I can't recall all she said, I was pretty upset at myself. I do recall that She asked if She kissed me if it would help. I said, "Very much." She kisses me and it tastes like sunshine with a hint of God's peach. It helped.
Her message to me clearly delivered She leaves the room.
I humbly ask MsTara if I may be excused. I need to nap before my call with MsGrace, a call I am so very much looking forward too. MsTara says I may leave.
Princess RatFink is still taunting me and sticking her tongue out at me as I quietly exit the room. Before I go she suddenly rushes up to me, her pony tail swinging side to side, and kisses me! Her kiss tastes like sunshine with a hint of God's peach.
I pass out.
MsTara's Tea Time ... go figure :-)
I had soooo much fun!
Now I can only recall partially what happened during Tea Time probably due to the fact that I was tased twice, had a heart shaved into my care bear ass and was soundly beaten. Good times, good times. Naturally none of this was my fault, let me 'splain it to you, I'm certain you'll agree that it was tonydshrimps fault, because, well, it was.
I managed to race into Tea Time with only fifteen minutes to go. MsTara was finishing up Her interpretive dance of Al Gore's Earth in the Balance and this chick named "Princess" greets me as I enter the room. Now I normally call MsGrace 'Princess' but for the purposes of this post 'Princess' will not mean MsGrace. Got it? Well sorry if you don't.
I'm glancing at this Princess with a "do I know you?" look in my eye when tonydshrimp tosses me a KFC Original Recipe chicken wing, clearly ignoring the 'Do not feed the bears' sign. KFC Original is bad juju for care bears it makes us high, ornery and horny. Add on to that that I'm hours from what will turn out to be the best damned MsGrace call of my life (to date) and well ...
So I'm munching on this leg or wing at this picnic and Princess has disappeared behind the bushes with pothead and clouds of smoke are billowing from it kinda listening to someone reciting their Ode to a Tree, in short minding my own business. MsTara, Her eyes welling with tears casually picks up Her Taser of Terrible Tenderness (tm) and tases me with it, a clear indication of how much She missed having me about.
WHAP convulsions - oh how I've missed you so.
Princess is spinning around some tree and kinda greeting people entering the room ("Welcome to MsTara's Tea Time Gone Wild), munching on strawberries and having a "high" old time. tonydshrimp is bragging about his outfit (hard to find shorts with seventeen legs) or something like that. Evil pothead has suddenly arrived and I'm spasming on the ground, somewhat slightly irritated. The room is showing the first signs of spinning out of control, it's 7:01PM, Tea Time is technically over and no one is going anywhere.
Except me. I storm out of the room, don this massive taser proof rubber suit and reenter. While out there I IM jem telling her to hustle over to Tea Time. First (of course) I'm accused of being some sort of bizarre fetishist (duh! but it's not rubber) and Princess is sticking her tongue out at me and looking cute as heck doing it and I'm feeling the first wave of effects from the chicken tonydshrimp deliberately poisoned me with. I'm beginning to feel rather aggressive. My wookie pops out looking for trouble!
So I may have gotten a little lippy but I tend to think of it as youthful exuberance at my invulnerable state. Some may say that I was sort of slightly taunting MsTara about the loss of Her taserablility. The room is moving faster now and I'm struggling to keep up. Princess has discovered bubbles and is blowing them all over the place, MsTara is voicing her annoyance that this Princess person is not going to the beach with Her - whatever that means, girl talk I guess. While She's doing this She casually points out a hole in my defenses by unzipping the back of my rubber suit and dumping a bucket of live shrimp in it before zipping me back up.
While I rapidly exit the room tonydshrimp openly sobs at the slaughter.
I try a different angle of defense and put on my perverted elf costume. I enter the room and ask, "Better?" MsTara is openly happy and gives me a big hug. Princess RatFink is shocked and says "I'm telling MsGrace *sticks out tongue*" and I'm edging towards the Taser of Terrible Tenderness (tm).
The text in the room is flowing past like a white water rapid at this point. It was insane. And the pace never let up. The following is jumbled and maybe those who were there can fill in the blanks. I don't know when it happened but it did.
I don't know how Princess RatFink and MsTara arrived at the conclusion that I needed my ass shaved with a large heart but it happened.
Evil pothead teleported pothead to the cornfield.
tonydshrimp was showing pics of some dog the destroyer and both MsTara and Princess RatFink were cooing over the thing all girlie and stuff. Sheesh! Never forget that Mistresses and Princesses are very powerful cock controllers etc but they are also girls at heart. Tonydshrimp was employing one of the oldest tricks in the books and they both fell for it hook line and sinker.
Wish I would have thought of it.
Princess RatFink got SPANKED! Oh was that sweet! Yummy. She is the proud possessor of a pretty pink bottom now and is it cuuute! She went down swinging though and almost (so close but so far) got me in trouble. If you missed that well too darned bad.
She sprang back from it pretty quickly and was soon blowing bubbles again. Tonydshrimp went floating by in one at one point waving merrily and ignoring prophesy "When shrimps fly Armageddon arrives - Revelations 4:4"
I manage to grab the taser and renewed my care bear master race reign of terror for about twelve seconds until MsTara used her Jedi bullshit again and plucked it from my hands. Unfortunately She left it near Princess RatFink who grabbed the damned thing and tased me immediately.
Down I went.
People entering the room are confusing Princess for MsGrace. I managed to clear that up by lifting up her skirt, pulling down her panties a little and checking for a tattoo. Definitely not MsGrace but what a fine butt! Yummy. Later I got to check again and verified by visual inspection that she was actually a girl. Again yummy! It was worth the multiple slaps I received.
Probably this Princess confusion was do to the fact that she was amusing herself and all of the rest of us by doing very naughty things with a chocolate ice cream cone.
I'm in the full grips of the KFC poisoning by now and go on a royal tear about what a fighter I am during my MsGrace calls. She calls me "Zeus" You should have seen Princess RatFink sputtering and carrying on about how she was "soooo telling MsGrace" and blah blah blah.
MsTara, true friend that she is, is egging me on replacing the spade I'm digging my grave with, with a backhoe.
MsTara: "Zeus eh? A truly worthy opponent"
BillyBear: "Why MsTara, truly, I blush"
Princess RatFink is sputtering impotently and saying she most definitely is telling MsGrace and that I am in soooo much trouble. Then she shrieks out, "HI MSGRACE!" I whip around completely panicked going, "Where? WHERE is MsGrace??!!!" Nothing.
Later during my call with MsGrace She informed me that Princess RatFink relayed the wrong coordinates and MsGrace popped into the main room instead of Sissy School and she sat there for a few minutes with an expression on Her face that I sooo wish I had a picture of saying, "Where is everybody?" before bolting to Sissy School.
MsGrace, my Mistress, my friend You KNOW I wuvs You so I hope You take this in the spirit it's intended ...
LMAO LMFAOOOOO!!!
Well I'm resuming my discourse on what it is to be Zeus and how it's MsGrace's secret name for me when suddenly MsGrace DOES appear in the room.
Now this wasn't bubbly Princess Grace this was Mistress Grace. Cranky Mistress Grace, perhaps even slightly pissed off at Her wayward bear MsGrace, the "not your friend MsGrace." All that makes Her a domme, a Mistress of the highest caliber in full bloom! To see Her this way is both utterly terrifying and utterly beautiful.
I'm in BIG BIG trouble, knowing I'm doomed and slowly backing away. Princess RatFink is sticking her tongue out at me and giggling, tossing in the helpful suggestion of kicking my ass.
MsTara tosses MsGrace a transcript of my most recent "deep thoughts" which MsGrace scans.
"Zeus eh?"
"Shhhhh MsGrace, that's our secret name ..." I croak out bargaining like a cancer patient with God for one little ::giggle::
The remorseless, pitiless eyes of "The Mistress" lock onto mine freezing me in place.
She's talking to me but I was so terrified that I can't really recall the details. I know that at one point She asked what I was feeling? I replied, "A little silly"
She leads me over to MsTara who proceeds to deliver an epic ass whopping. While it's going on MsGrace is asking me questions. She wants me to spill our little secret to the room. She's pressing, and she's pressing very hard!
I'm babbling. She's telling me, "Tell me billy, tell me what you are ..." fully meaning my secret. I make one last decision and decide to go with the truth.
"I AM YOURS MSGRACE! I AM YOURS AND ALWAYS WILL BE!!!!"
"Yesss you are Mine!"
MsTara relents (probably because Her arm is out of shape, I haven't been around much) and MsGrace leads me to my corner where I start polishing my plaque with my nose. Kc entered the room at this point saying something like, "Hi BillyBear!" to which I replied, "Hi Kc, I'm a little busy at the moment." I can't recall all she said, I was pretty upset at myself. I do recall that She asked if She kissed me if it would help. I said, "Very much." She kisses me and it tastes like sunshine with a hint of God's peach. It helped.
Her message to me clearly delivered She leaves the room.
I humbly ask MsTara if I may be excused. I need to nap before my call with MsGrace, a call I am so very much looking forward too. MsTara says I may leave.
Princess RatFink is still taunting me and sticking her tongue out at me as I quietly exit the room. Before I go she suddenly rushes up to me, her pony tail swinging side to side, and kisses me! Her kiss tastes like sunshine with a hint of God's peach.
I pass out.
MsTara's Tea Time ... go figure :-)
I had soooo much fun!
Friday, March 09, 2007
Hello Mr. Schneed
As Princess Grace works her magic on me and goes deeper into my head and heart certain cracks begin to develop in the RealWorld. For example at a recent staff meeting:
"Mr. billybear I'm sorry about the quarterly projections sir. We'll do better I promise"
To which I somberly reply, "Awwww poor baby! Are your numby wumbys all down in the dumps hmmmm? NO CUMMIES till billyPrincess sees a 30% increase prezzie by the next quarter! OK honey bunny? ::giggle::"
Usually a sort of stunned silence follows and then, well it's off to HR and my good buddy Mr. Schneed. We've grown rather close over the past few months although I did seem to alienate him at one point.
"Mr. Schneed ..."
"Yes billybear?"
"I couldn't help but notice how you were staring at my dangling loafer and argyle socks ... hmmm ... maybe we can work out an ... arrangement ::giggle::"
"What are you talking about??!! And what was that horrible scratchy sound you just made?"
::sigh:: Yes my giggle does need improvement.
"awww Mr. Schneed it's OK! Really it is! Go ahead and look at my loafer, dangling ... yesss! Good boy! Now tear up that file ... tear it up for billyPrincess!!!"
It took him awhile to get over that one. Anyway we have a system worked out where I put duct tape over my mouth before coming into his office. Sign the forms and leave, it works for both of us, no more uncomfortable silences in the cafeteria line.
Once I made the mistake of complaining about my giggle to Princess during a call. You see I have something of a Barry White voice, let's just say it resides in the lower octaves. Princess of course performed a Princess Pounce, I'll need to employ jem's technique to get across the true caring spirit of Princess:
"awwww sweetie you're not a girl! Do you want to be a giiirrrlll? Hmmmm? ::giggle:: Say for your Princess in your best sissy voice, 'Princess, please teach me how to giggle like a girl!'"
Barry White repeats the line falsetto.
Princess understandingly replies, "LMAO!!!! LMFAOOOOO!!!!"
Once She regains Her composure She says, "Oh no that will never do billybear! Let's go younger and work our way up. Say to mommy Princess, 'Ma Ma Pwincess teach baby billy to giggle goo goo gaa gaa' in your very best baby voice! ::anticipatory giggling:: awwww come on billybear, pway with me!"
Barry White repeats the line falsetto.
There's a considered silence on the phone while Princess judges the response. Then she erupts with, "LMFAOOOOOOO!!! LMAO LMAO!!! Oh my gawd!!! Say it again!"
Needless to say THAT was a long night - soft smile.
I've come to live for that open honest laugh of Hers like many of you yearn for a hiccup. I'll do almost anything for that open laugh. I'll do anything for that open laugh followed by a snort.
"Mr. billybear I'm sorry about the quarterly projections sir. We'll do better I promise"
To which I somberly reply, "Awwww poor baby! Are your numby wumbys all down in the dumps hmmmm? NO CUMMIES till billyPrincess sees a 30% increase prezzie by the next quarter! OK honey bunny? ::giggle::"
Usually a sort of stunned silence follows and then, well it's off to HR and my good buddy Mr. Schneed. We've grown rather close over the past few months although I did seem to alienate him at one point.
"Mr. Schneed ..."
"Yes billybear?"
"I couldn't help but notice how you were staring at my dangling loafer and argyle socks ... hmmm ... maybe we can work out an ... arrangement ::giggle::"
"What are you talking about??!! And what was that horrible scratchy sound you just made?"
::sigh:: Yes my giggle does need improvement.
"awww Mr. Schneed it's OK! Really it is! Go ahead and look at my loafer, dangling ... yesss! Good boy! Now tear up that file ... tear it up for billyPrincess!!!"
It took him awhile to get over that one. Anyway we have a system worked out where I put duct tape over my mouth before coming into his office. Sign the forms and leave, it works for both of us, no more uncomfortable silences in the cafeteria line.
Once I made the mistake of complaining about my giggle to Princess during a call. You see I have something of a Barry White voice, let's just say it resides in the lower octaves. Princess of course performed a Princess Pounce, I'll need to employ jem's technique to get across the true caring spirit of Princess:
"awwww sweetie you're not a girl! Do you want to be a giiirrrlll? Hmmmm? ::giggle:: Say for your Princess in your best sissy voice, 'Princess, please teach me how to giggle like a girl!'"
Barry White repeats the line falsetto.
Princess understandingly replies, "LMAO!!!! LMFAOOOOO!!!!"
Once She regains Her composure She says, "Oh no that will never do billybear! Let's go younger and work our way up. Say to mommy Princess, 'Ma Ma Pwincess teach baby billy to giggle goo goo gaa gaa' in your very best baby voice! ::anticipatory giggling:: awwww come on billybear, pway with me!"
Barry White repeats the line falsetto.
There's a considered silence on the phone while Princess judges the response. Then she erupts with, "LMFAOOOOOOO!!! LMAO LMAO!!! Oh my gawd!!! Say it again!"
Needless to say THAT was a long night - soft smile.
I've come to live for that open honest laugh of Hers like many of you yearn for a hiccup. I'll do almost anything for that open laugh. I'll do anything for that open laugh followed by a snort.
A Selfish BillyBear
So what did I take away from my little Journal experiment and pondering and what not. Well I took away that I have a problem, it's my problem. Princess Grace is very understanding of it but I own it. Where I take heart is the fact that the periods between my basketcaseosity (? my spell checker tells me that's not a word - LIAR!) are getting longer.
I also seem to be developing a problem with the fucking Girl Scouts. BillyBear ponders his phrasing of 'fucking Girl Scouts' and decides not to form the mental image of his readership grabbing hungerly at their 'happy place' saying, "Go on" and "Do tell." I really shouldn't have issues with them per se but my god damned coworkers keep leaving entire rolls of thin mints out, preying on my weaknesses and I'm a weak, weak boy. Ask MsGrace, go on ask Her!
In an IM Princess suggested, you know, I could try and call Her on another night than Friday since those aren't working out recently (billybear glares balefully at the RealWorld)
Well my only reply to that is I get positively autistic about those things. I like and need "the schedule" I guess I'm a perverted Raymond Babbitt, it's gotta be Friday, gotta be Friday. Sheesh no it doesn't.
So this Wednesday I was a baaaad billybear, an evil wanty neeeedy billybear. Don't tell Princess, oh wait that won't work She was there. Drat!
I called Her!
It took very little work. I opened my IM client and told Her I was a selfish little billybear and that I was going to call Her. I got nada back. I'm not concerned She's probably on the phone (probably? at 11:15PM on a Wednesday sheesh, billybear rolls eyes). I have to wait forty five minutes or so (and I'm periodically hitting redial every fifteen minutes or so hoping to get lucky). If it didn't happen that's OK there's always Friday when I'm scheduled and in general I will need a schedule, sigh RealWorld issues.
But come on ... two nights of Princess are better than one :-) Oh yesss I plan to bogart MsGrace. Yummy!
Then my IM client lights up and that wonderful hot pink type appears and Princess says it isn't Friday and why am I selfish? I fire back fuck that Friday noise I'm calling then too but I need You and want You um NOW, how about it sunshine? ::batting my eyes and striking such a cute pose that only care bears can pull off, pushing my tush out, paws on knees in a pose Betty Boop could only dream of!:: Succumbing to my cuteness She fires back "call me."
We talk and giggle and catch up. This was strictly talk, no play. It's exactly what I needed and it's exactly what I got. If I wanted to play that would have been fine too but that will be tonight. It's been twenty one days and I plan to drink long and deep from the Princess well of perversion!
This call thing, it works!!! Tried and tested by billybear labs, Inc. - five dollah
I love it when I find something that is very workable, er, what I mean is when MsGrace suggests something that works for me.
::nervous giggle, wrings paws::
She really does know me ... very well
And I'm so glad for it! ::soft smile::
PS: It's Friday. Our "date" night! ::wicked, evil perverted giggle:: I am soooo going to call You! You are soooo going to work me. 21 days of backed up cummies, is it enough? I believe I will have to BEG for Your kind consideration as You judge each whimper and whiny "pretty pretty please Princess" As You sit in judgment, knowing I shall obey whatever edict You decree since I am Your billybear! But please think of mittens Princess, her head will be out of the cast soon, mittens needs you Princess. Cry for Princess mittens! You call that crying?! ::billybear tapes a firecracker to mittens ear and lights it... :: Good mittens, that's the spirit!
I also seem to be developing a problem with the fucking Girl Scouts. BillyBear ponders his phrasing of 'fucking Girl Scouts' and decides not to form the mental image of his readership grabbing hungerly at their 'happy place' saying, "Go on" and "Do tell." I really shouldn't have issues with them per se but my god damned coworkers keep leaving entire rolls of thin mints out, preying on my weaknesses and I'm a weak, weak boy. Ask MsGrace, go on ask Her!
In an IM Princess suggested, you know, I could try and call Her on another night than Friday since those aren't working out recently (billybear glares balefully at the RealWorld)
Well my only reply to that is I get positively autistic about those things. I like and need "the schedule" I guess I'm a perverted Raymond Babbitt, it's gotta be Friday, gotta be Friday. Sheesh no it doesn't.
So this Wednesday I was a baaaad billybear, an evil wanty neeeedy billybear. Don't tell Princess, oh wait that won't work She was there. Drat!
I called Her!
It took very little work. I opened my IM client and told Her I was a selfish little billybear and that I was going to call Her. I got nada back. I'm not concerned She's probably on the phone (probably? at 11:15PM on a Wednesday sheesh, billybear rolls eyes). I have to wait forty five minutes or so (and I'm periodically hitting redial every fifteen minutes or so hoping to get lucky). If it didn't happen that's OK there's always Friday when I'm scheduled and in general I will need a schedule, sigh RealWorld issues.
But come on ... two nights of Princess are better than one :-) Oh yesss I plan to bogart MsGrace. Yummy!
Then my IM client lights up and that wonderful hot pink type appears and Princess says it isn't Friday and why am I selfish? I fire back fuck that Friday noise I'm calling then too but I need You and want You um NOW, how about it sunshine? ::batting my eyes and striking such a cute pose that only care bears can pull off, pushing my tush out, paws on knees in a pose Betty Boop could only dream of!:: Succumbing to my cuteness She fires back "call me."
We talk and giggle and catch up. This was strictly talk, no play. It's exactly what I needed and it's exactly what I got. If I wanted to play that would have been fine too but that will be tonight. It's been twenty one days and I plan to drink long and deep from the Princess well of perversion!
This call thing, it works!!! Tried and tested by billybear labs, Inc. - five dollah
I love it when I find something that is very workable, er, what I mean is when MsGrace suggests something that works for me.
::nervous giggle, wrings paws::
She really does know me ... very well
And I'm so glad for it! ::soft smile::
PS: It's Friday. Our "date" night! ::wicked, evil perverted giggle:: I am soooo going to call You! You are soooo going to work me. 21 days of backed up cummies, is it enough? I believe I will have to BEG for Your kind consideration as You judge each whimper and whiny "pretty pretty please Princess" As You sit in judgment, knowing I shall obey whatever edict You decree since I am Your billybear! But please think of mittens Princess, her head will be out of the cast soon, mittens needs you Princess. Cry for Princess mittens! You call that crying?! ::billybear tapes a firecracker to mittens ear and lights it... :: Good mittens, that's the spirit!
Thursday, March 08, 2007
The Journal: Mighty Like a Rose
From the journal of William Crozier
March 2, 1849
Beautiful Tabitha,
What have I've done?
I had lost my reason, took my journal and left town and everything I've grown to love. Now I sit in this cave, closed off from the world. I know nothing but what I see out the cave opening I scaled a day ago.
Why did I do it?
To hurt you Tabitha. Did it work? I will never know. That was my first thought when I went about my insane business but upon reflection I think a closer truth would be Fear.
Fear that you would leave. I thought in my madness that it would be best to deliver the mortal blow myself before you did. How stupid. You never gave me any indication that you were going to do such a thing and for all I know your sudden silence was the result of any number of reasonable explanations. I never gave you opportunity to reply. How I wish I had!
I cut off a perfectly functioning hand out of fear that it would stop working. The bill has come due and I must pay for my stupidity. Whatever possessed me to destroy my fine house of cards has left me now. Pride holds me here.
Tabitha you will never know how very much I regret my actions, how I wish I could undo what I have so rashly done. Would you have me back Tabitha if I were to return with my tail between my legs, cur that I am?
How could you? I have lied to you, told you I would be your friend, that I so much wanted to be your friend, was your friend. I wish I could find a way to remain your friend. No action short of murder could blacken my soul more than betraying a friend, a trusted confidant.
I have betrayed you. I am not trustworthy.
In my stupid attempt to hurt you I've deeply hurt myself. I sit, shivering against this wall fervently hoping that I didn't hurt you at all. That you haven't even noticed I have gone. That I did not matter.
My name in water writ.
While I was busily wrecking everything I love I was having so much fun. I felt in control, that this was the proper thing to do. Once I started I found I could not stop.
They say it's cold in Hell. It's very cold here.
And what of you Tabitha, and Jerome and my other friends? What will become of you? What twists in the road of life will I miss? Could I have helped? Lightened the load? Shared in the laughter, supplied a shoulder in sorrow? I shall never know.
Who shall sing your song?
My daylight is failing. I'm tired through my very soul Tabitha, I'm so very tired. It's going to be very cold again tonight. I can't stop shivering! I'm frightened and very much alone. I have no one to blame but myself. With no help at all I did this to myself.
Do you remember when I took you out to the field and taught you how to shoot a pistol? Your eyes blazed like fire as you blasted bottles from the fence! Oh what fun we had that day! Do you remember what I told you? "Tabitha, once you pull the trigger you can never call the bullet back. Aim with care." I sit on the floor of this cave trying to find a way to stuff the bullet back into the barrel. As you've told me many times, "I shall think on it tomorrow."
I must sleep now, I pray I dream of you as I first saw you, happy, idly playing hopscotch in the sunlight.
Tell me Tabitha, are you counting the minutes till we speak again?
With deepest respect and ...
I whisper, "love"
"I am so sorry William. You fucked up."
I return the journal to its sad owner having read every word of a loving friendship destroyed in a heartbeat. I return to the side opening, sit against the wall and think on it.
I sat with sad William through the night, pondering his journal, pondering Princess. When morning came I tested my shoulder and climbed down from the ledge. After all my actions placed me there, it was up to me to get down.
Jem you'll have to get that key yourself, enjoy your climb.
Princess Grace and I have a mighty friendship, mighty like a rose.
billybear
The Journal, written for Princess Grace March 2-3, 2007, while billybear attempts to get his shit together.
March 2, 1849
Beautiful Tabitha,
What have I've done?
I had lost my reason, took my journal and left town and everything I've grown to love. Now I sit in this cave, closed off from the world. I know nothing but what I see out the cave opening I scaled a day ago.
Why did I do it?
To hurt you Tabitha. Did it work? I will never know. That was my first thought when I went about my insane business but upon reflection I think a closer truth would be Fear.
Fear that you would leave. I thought in my madness that it would be best to deliver the mortal blow myself before you did. How stupid. You never gave me any indication that you were going to do such a thing and for all I know your sudden silence was the result of any number of reasonable explanations. I never gave you opportunity to reply. How I wish I had!
I cut off a perfectly functioning hand out of fear that it would stop working. The bill has come due and I must pay for my stupidity. Whatever possessed me to destroy my fine house of cards has left me now. Pride holds me here.
Tabitha you will never know how very much I regret my actions, how I wish I could undo what I have so rashly done. Would you have me back Tabitha if I were to return with my tail between my legs, cur that I am?
How could you? I have lied to you, told you I would be your friend, that I so much wanted to be your friend, was your friend. I wish I could find a way to remain your friend. No action short of murder could blacken my soul more than betraying a friend, a trusted confidant.
I have betrayed you. I am not trustworthy.
In my stupid attempt to hurt you I've deeply hurt myself. I sit, shivering against this wall fervently hoping that I didn't hurt you at all. That you haven't even noticed I have gone. That I did not matter.
My name in water writ.
While I was busily wrecking everything I love I was having so much fun. I felt in control, that this was the proper thing to do. Once I started I found I could not stop.
They say it's cold in Hell. It's very cold here.
And what of you Tabitha, and Jerome and my other friends? What will become of you? What twists in the road of life will I miss? Could I have helped? Lightened the load? Shared in the laughter, supplied a shoulder in sorrow? I shall never know.
Who shall sing your song?
My daylight is failing. I'm tired through my very soul Tabitha, I'm so very tired. It's going to be very cold again tonight. I can't stop shivering! I'm frightened and very much alone. I have no one to blame but myself. With no help at all I did this to myself.
Do you remember when I took you out to the field and taught you how to shoot a pistol? Your eyes blazed like fire as you blasted bottles from the fence! Oh what fun we had that day! Do you remember what I told you? "Tabitha, once you pull the trigger you can never call the bullet back. Aim with care." I sit on the floor of this cave trying to find a way to stuff the bullet back into the barrel. As you've told me many times, "I shall think on it tomorrow."
I must sleep now, I pray I dream of you as I first saw you, happy, idly playing hopscotch in the sunlight.
Tell me Tabitha, are you counting the minutes till we speak again?
With deepest respect and ...
I whisper, "love"
"I am so sorry William. You fucked up."
I return the journal to its sad owner having read every word of a loving friendship destroyed in a heartbeat. I return to the side opening, sit against the wall and think on it.
I sat with sad William through the night, pondering his journal, pondering Princess. When morning came I tested my shoulder and climbed down from the ledge. After all my actions placed me there, it was up to me to get down.
Jem you'll have to get that key yourself, enjoy your climb.
Princess Grace and I have a mighty friendship, mighty like a rose.
billybear
The Journal, written for Princess Grace March 2-3, 2007, while billybear attempts to get his shit together.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
The Journal: Rapid Decline
From the journal of William Crozier
Sweetest Tabitha,
I dropped another note off at the house today. Just some light poem I had written for your amusement. I asked the servant if you had left a message for me. He shook his head no.
No matter. You must be out and about. I hope to hear from you soon.
With deepest respect and love,
Your sweet William
Dearest Tabitha,
I dropped a note off at the house letting you know of recent events in my life. I saw the most delightful play with a cad you would have enjoyed. He was very bright but had a strong woman in his ear. I know by the time we have our next date you would have seen the play. I can't wait to discuss it with you!
You know what they say, "Behind every successful man is a very surprised woman!"
The servant said there were no messages. I hope nothing is wrong.
With deepest respect and love,
Your sweet William
Dear Tabitha,
I have been coming by the house daily looking hopefully at the servant. We have a system worked out. I look at him expectantly and he shakes his head no.
I dropped off another note. I fear I have angered you in some manner. I ask myself that, review my actions and can find nothing that should have brought this sudden silence.
I've checked with Jerome and he's heard nothing.
With deepest respect and love,
Your sweet William
My Tabitha,
I must have wronged you. I know not what I've done but this constant anxiety I feel has worn my soul threadbare. I stand in front of your house hoping for a glimpse of you but you've disappeared.
I miss you.
I shall be leaving you. I will no longer darken your doorway nor annoy you with my endless whining notes. My only conclusion is that you've found another interest and no longer need nor want your William.
When you awaken tomorrow I shall be gone. You will not hear from me ever again.
I am sorry.
With deepest respect and love,
Your sweet William
February 16, 1849
Sweetest Tabitha,
I dropped another note off at the house today. Just some light poem I had written for your amusement. I asked the servant if you had left a message for me. He shook his head no.
No matter. You must be out and about. I hope to hear from you soon.
With deepest respect and love,
Your sweet William
February 19, 1849
Dearest Tabitha,
I dropped a note off at the house letting you know of recent events in my life. I saw the most delightful play with a cad you would have enjoyed. He was very bright but had a strong woman in his ear. I know by the time we have our next date you would have seen the play. I can't wait to discuss it with you!
You know what they say, "Behind every successful man is a very surprised woman!"
The servant said there were no messages. I hope nothing is wrong.
With deepest respect and love,
Your sweet William
February 24, 1849
Dear Tabitha,
I have been coming by the house daily looking hopefully at the servant. We have a system worked out. I look at him expectantly and he shakes his head no.
I dropped off another note. I fear I have angered you in some manner. I ask myself that, review my actions and can find nothing that should have brought this sudden silence.
I've checked with Jerome and he's heard nothing.
With deepest respect and love,
Your sweet William
February 28, 1849
My Tabitha,
I must have wronged you. I know not what I've done but this constant anxiety I feel has worn my soul threadbare. I stand in front of your house hoping for a glimpse of you but you've disappeared.
I miss you.
I shall be leaving you. I will no longer darken your doorway nor annoy you with my endless whining notes. My only conclusion is that you've found another interest and no longer need nor want your William.
When you awaken tomorrow I shall be gone. You will not hear from me ever again.
I am sorry.
With deepest respect and love,
Your sweet William
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
The Journal: Days of Wine and Roses
From the journal of William Crozier
January 15, 1849
Dearest Tabitha,
I have been sitting in my office recalling the last four wonderful months we spent together. I've been filling my journal with our exploits but thought I'd take pause and look back. I have never been happier and hope you have been too!
Do you remember the first time we didn't play, just talked? I shall never forget it. It was in early October and we were having an Indian summer. I knelt before you in my usual manner when you pulled the curtain back and said, "I'm sorry William, I'm just not in the mood."
"Would you care to talk my Lady?"
"I would still have to charge you sweet William."
"That is no bother dear Tabitha, I know it would give me great pleasure to converse with you if you would like to do so with me."
You laugh and take me to the back porch where we sat for hours on a porch swing drinking sweetened tea and talking. We've done it many times since and if I were to be honest with myself I enjoy our talks more than our play. No that's not true, I also enjoy our games because of your open acceptance of who and what I am. For others I've sensed that it's just a job, with you I detect a genuine liking of me and an understanding of my foibles. You are blessed in finding employment that you love. So Tabitha, it's impossible to rate, let's call it a tie shall we, and keep doing both!
And over the months, scribbling my thoughts in this journal, talking and playing with you I've come to adore you. You're something of a thief aren't you Tabitha? I open myself up to you entirely, and find you've snuck in and become my true friend. Giggling all the way because you know it's freely given. I feel very close to you and I'm so happy for it.
I've also grown close with other clients of the house. They are wonderful chaps and we laugh and cavort down at "the club." Smoking cigars and drinking whiskey, we while away the hours. I look forward to seeing them as frequently as I can. I've grown quite close with another "regular" of yours, Jerome.
Jerome is quite excited to receive his CB0025. He showed me a drawing of one and it looks positively medieval! He says the four pound weight will be no problem and if he keeps it oiled it shouldn't rust. He thinks it will arrive any day now.
When we first met I had no idea how popular you are, but what amazes me most is that I feel no jealousy. Do you remember that one day when you worked all night long? I managed to sneak in between clients and shove a glass of sweetened ice tea with some flowers under your curtain before sneaking away giggling. You knew it was me and sent me the nicest note the next morning. I treasure that note!
I feel compelled to tell you how sorry I was about my behavior a month or so ago. I can not believe that you continue to find me interesting with so many bellowing for your attentions. My imagination will catch hold and I fill with self doubt and loathing. What could you possibly see in me? How foolish I felt when I learned that you had to suddenly leave to care for your mother who had fallen ill! It's so easy to place you on a pedestal forgetting completely that you're someone's daughter, you have a family and a life outside of this house.
Upon your return you sent me a note that I try and to keep in my mind. You wrote honestly to me, like a friend would reminding me that I'm not the only one clamoring for your attentions, that your family and life outside of this house will always come first, as it should!
You said, "Sweet William, I am sorry that I have been pulled in so many ways of late. You know that I have many clients and that I love them and you, each in your own way but I can not (as much as I would like to be) always be here. And remember when I am here you're not the only rose that needs watering my dear."
I am so glad to be past the madness that gripped me! I hope that demon will not visit me again. I shall endeavor to keep your words in mind.
In such a short amount of time I feel so very close to you Miss Tabitha Lee! I have never felt such happiness or joy. Surly you see the bounce in my step! I shall be seeing you shortly for our "date"!
With deepest respect and love,
Your sweet William
I have been sitting in my office recalling the last four wonderful months we spent together. I've been filling my journal with our exploits but thought I'd take pause and look back. I have never been happier and hope you have been too!
Do you remember the first time we didn't play, just talked? I shall never forget it. It was in early October and we were having an Indian summer. I knelt before you in my usual manner when you pulled the curtain back and said, "I'm sorry William, I'm just not in the mood."
"Would you care to talk my Lady?"
"I would still have to charge you sweet William."
"That is no bother dear Tabitha, I know it would give me great pleasure to converse with you if you would like to do so with me."
You laugh and take me to the back porch where we sat for hours on a porch swing drinking sweetened tea and talking. We've done it many times since and if I were to be honest with myself I enjoy our talks more than our play. No that's not true, I also enjoy our games because of your open acceptance of who and what I am. For others I've sensed that it's just a job, with you I detect a genuine liking of me and an understanding of my foibles. You are blessed in finding employment that you love. So Tabitha, it's impossible to rate, let's call it a tie shall we, and keep doing both!
And over the months, scribbling my thoughts in this journal, talking and playing with you I've come to adore you. You're something of a thief aren't you Tabitha? I open myself up to you entirely, and find you've snuck in and become my true friend. Giggling all the way because you know it's freely given. I feel very close to you and I'm so happy for it.
I've also grown close with other clients of the house. They are wonderful chaps and we laugh and cavort down at "the club." Smoking cigars and drinking whiskey, we while away the hours. I look forward to seeing them as frequently as I can. I've grown quite close with another "regular" of yours, Jerome.
Jerome is quite excited to receive his CB0025. He showed me a drawing of one and it looks positively medieval! He says the four pound weight will be no problem and if he keeps it oiled it shouldn't rust. He thinks it will arrive any day now.
When we first met I had no idea how popular you are, but what amazes me most is that I feel no jealousy. Do you remember that one day when you worked all night long? I managed to sneak in between clients and shove a glass of sweetened ice tea with some flowers under your curtain before sneaking away giggling. You knew it was me and sent me the nicest note the next morning. I treasure that note!
I feel compelled to tell you how sorry I was about my behavior a month or so ago. I can not believe that you continue to find me interesting with so many bellowing for your attentions. My imagination will catch hold and I fill with self doubt and loathing. What could you possibly see in me? How foolish I felt when I learned that you had to suddenly leave to care for your mother who had fallen ill! It's so easy to place you on a pedestal forgetting completely that you're someone's daughter, you have a family and a life outside of this house.
Upon your return you sent me a note that I try and to keep in my mind. You wrote honestly to me, like a friend would reminding me that I'm not the only one clamoring for your attentions, that your family and life outside of this house will always come first, as it should!
You said, "Sweet William, I am sorry that I have been pulled in so many ways of late. You know that I have many clients and that I love them and you, each in your own way but I can not (as much as I would like to be) always be here. And remember when I am here you're not the only rose that needs watering my dear."
I am so glad to be past the madness that gripped me! I hope that demon will not visit me again. I shall endeavor to keep your words in mind.
In such a short amount of time I feel so very close to you Miss Tabitha Lee! I have never felt such happiness or joy. Surly you see the bounce in my step! I shall be seeing you shortly for our "date"!
With deepest respect and love,
Your sweet William
Monday, March 05, 2007
The Journal: Introductions
Sunlight streams into my eyes. I come swimming out of darkness with a blinding headache. Dried blood down the side of my face gluing my right eye shut. With a start I remember the bear and grab for my knife. Waves of pain flash through me. There's something wrong with my right shoulder. I pull the knife from the shief with a loud moan.
No bear.
I check the shoulder out, not broken but very badly sprained. Every breath produces a sharp stabbing pain, probably cracked ribs. My legs seem OK. Good. I sit for a few taking stock and it's not too bad physically but not good either.
I rise to my feet and peer up at the hole I fell down. I was lucky, I fell about fifteen or twenty feet. I could probably scale it if I wasn't so banged up, but I am. I also hear the bear, sleeping near the hole.
I head towards the source of the sunlight. This tunnel opens up on the side of the nipple. I look up and it's a tough climb to the summit. No go. I look down and it's even worse, about three hundred feet to a rocky bottom.
I'm in real trouble. My father won't be back to pick me up for three days. I have no food, no water and no clothes. Exposure and water will be a problem. Well what do I have?
I look down the other end of the tunnel and scream, startling the bear into roaring with rage. I'm going to have to be quiet so that bad boy doesn't get the idea to come down here and shut me up. Against the far wall, staring into the morning sun is a skeleton. It's holding something in its' hands, its tattered clothing give witness to its age.
It's been down here a long time. I approach it cautiously, next to it appears to be a pen of sorts and a dried up inkwell. As I get nearer, the object it's holding resolves itself into a leather bound book. I gently remove it without disturbing the skeleton.
I head back to the sunlight drenched opening, sit down against a wall, gently open the book and read:
Tabitha,
You don't know me, even though we've met, but I've decided to start this journal as a bit of a lark. Perhaps to review as the years flow by. I doubt you will ever see its contents. I plan to pour my thoughts and feelings into this journal because keeping them in one's head, well they're never fully articulated that way. Only by placing pen to paper can you approximate your meaning.
I shall never forget when I first laid eyes upon you.
That song sprang unbidden into my mind as I watched you and the other ladies in front of the house of your employment, plying your trade. I stood across the street in the bright Raleigh sun and watched the ladies, trying to decide who to see.
Most of the girls were laughing and talking together, sitting on the porch swing together, standing on the lawn playing croquet. You walked alone along the sidewalk, casually spinning your pink parasol over your right shoulder, a carefree bounce in your step.
You pause in front of a hopscotch board some kids had etched on the sidewalk, hop the pattern, spin and hop back before resuming your stroll.
I cross the street and approach you, shyly alternating my gaze between the sidewalk and your face. I stop before you, bow and eek out a nervous, "A fine day to you, my Lady." My eyes skitter across you like a rock across a pond. Your satin dress, first mistaken for white is of the palest pink, contrasted with the sharp pink of your parasol.
Your eyes sparkle as you reply, "And how are you on such a beautiful day my gentleman?" Your soft southern accent stirring my heart and baser regions of my body.
"In desperate need of your services, Lady"
Giggling you take my hand saying, "Then allow me to attend you directly, kind sir" and lead me into the house. We enter a room, you sit on a comfortable chair and pull a curtain between us.
"Have you done this before?"
"Yes"
"Then let us proceed."
Softly, slowly you cajole and coax my darkest, deepest wants and desires from me. My breath bated, my moans growing with increasing desire. Your voice envelopes me making me feel safe and accepted, base, craven creature I am. I loose myself in you, orgasming on the floor where I kneel before you. Your satisfied giggle comes from behind the curtain.
I fill with shame. What a beast of a man I am! I should be taken out into the fields and shot like a rabid dog. How disgusting you must find me. Sick, perverted, weak, pathetic, worthless.
You break protocol and rip the curtain aside before I leave. I scurry about the room like a cockroach caught in the kitchen, frantically trying to button my pants while wiping my spent seed from the floor with a towel under my shoe. I'm flushed with humiliation, embarrassment and shame.
"Are you married William?" You ask, ignoring my state.
I don't know what to say, I don't want to lie to you, I don't want to tell you the truth. I compromise, "Maybe ..."
Your laugh is free and easy, telling me you already know the answer. You glance down at the mess I have yet to mop up from the floor, smile happily and say, "I see you have enjoyed yourself maybe married William. I shall count the minutes till we speak again."
You're gone. I clean up, place my money in the bowl and follow.
It's night now Tabitha and I've thought of you through the day. I sit here scrawling the beginnings of this journal by candle light. Will you be mentioned tomorrow? Will I write of another? Your "I shall count the minutes ..." float through my mind. I know it's just a line said to various boys day after day.
I wonder Tabitha, if over time you will come to mean it?
Sincerely,
William
No bear.
I check the shoulder out, not broken but very badly sprained. Every breath produces a sharp stabbing pain, probably cracked ribs. My legs seem OK. Good. I sit for a few taking stock and it's not too bad physically but not good either.
I rise to my feet and peer up at the hole I fell down. I was lucky, I fell about fifteen or twenty feet. I could probably scale it if I wasn't so banged up, but I am. I also hear the bear, sleeping near the hole.
I head towards the source of the sunlight. This tunnel opens up on the side of the nipple. I look up and it's a tough climb to the summit. No go. I look down and it's even worse, about three hundred feet to a rocky bottom.
I'm in real trouble. My father won't be back to pick me up for three days. I have no food, no water and no clothes. Exposure and water will be a problem. Well what do I have?
I look down the other end of the tunnel and scream, startling the bear into roaring with rage. I'm going to have to be quiet so that bad boy doesn't get the idea to come down here and shut me up. Against the far wall, staring into the morning sun is a skeleton. It's holding something in its' hands, its tattered clothing give witness to its age.
It's been down here a long time. I approach it cautiously, next to it appears to be a pen of sorts and a dried up inkwell. As I get nearer, the object it's holding resolves itself into a leather bound book. I gently remove it without disturbing the skeleton.
I head back to the sunlight drenched opening, sit down against a wall, gently open the book and read:
The Journal of William Crozier
September 21, 1848
Tabitha,
You don't know me, even though we've met, but I've decided to start this journal as a bit of a lark. Perhaps to review as the years flow by. I doubt you will ever see its contents. I plan to pour my thoughts and feelings into this journal because keeping them in one's head, well they're never fully articulated that way. Only by placing pen to paper can you approximate your meaning.
I shall never forget when I first laid eyes upon you.
See the girls out walking, the girls they look so fine,
Dressed up in fine satin, their silver buckles shine
Dressed up in fine satin, their silver buckles shine
That song sprang unbidden into my mind as I watched you and the other ladies in front of the house of your employment, plying your trade. I stood across the street in the bright Raleigh sun and watched the ladies, trying to decide who to see.
Most of the girls were laughing and talking together, sitting on the porch swing together, standing on the lawn playing croquet. You walked alone along the sidewalk, casually spinning your pink parasol over your right shoulder, a carefree bounce in your step.
You pause in front of a hopscotch board some kids had etched on the sidewalk, hop the pattern, spin and hop back before resuming your stroll.
I cross the street and approach you, shyly alternating my gaze between the sidewalk and your face. I stop before you, bow and eek out a nervous, "A fine day to you, my Lady." My eyes skitter across you like a rock across a pond. Your satin dress, first mistaken for white is of the palest pink, contrasted with the sharp pink of your parasol.
Your eyes sparkle as you reply, "And how are you on such a beautiful day my gentleman?" Your soft southern accent stirring my heart and baser regions of my body.
"In desperate need of your services, Lady"
Giggling you take my hand saying, "Then allow me to attend you directly, kind sir" and lead me into the house. We enter a room, you sit on a comfortable chair and pull a curtain between us.
"Have you done this before?"
"Yes"
"Then let us proceed."
Softly, slowly you cajole and coax my darkest, deepest wants and desires from me. My breath bated, my moans growing with increasing desire. Your voice envelopes me making me feel safe and accepted, base, craven creature I am. I loose myself in you, orgasming on the floor where I kneel before you. Your satisfied giggle comes from behind the curtain.
I fill with shame. What a beast of a man I am! I should be taken out into the fields and shot like a rabid dog. How disgusting you must find me. Sick, perverted, weak, pathetic, worthless.
You break protocol and rip the curtain aside before I leave. I scurry about the room like a cockroach caught in the kitchen, frantically trying to button my pants while wiping my spent seed from the floor with a towel under my shoe. I'm flushed with humiliation, embarrassment and shame.
"Are you married William?" You ask, ignoring my state.
I don't know what to say, I don't want to lie to you, I don't want to tell you the truth. I compromise, "Maybe ..."
Your laugh is free and easy, telling me you already know the answer. You glance down at the mess I have yet to mop up from the floor, smile happily and say, "I see you have enjoyed yourself maybe married William. I shall count the minutes till we speak again."
You're gone. I clean up, place my money in the bowl and follow.
It's night now Tabitha and I've thought of you through the day. I sit here scrawling the beginnings of this journal by candle light. Will you be mentioned tomorrow? Will I write of another? Your "I shall count the minutes ..." float through my mind. I know it's just a line said to various boys day after day.
I wonder Tabitha, if over time you will come to mean it?
Sincerely,
William
Sunday, March 04, 2007
The Journal: Boob Mountain
Boob MountainMy father drops me off at the base of the mountain. It's currently about seventy degrees so I'm not too cold in my loin cloth. The Bowie knife slaps against my thigh as I head up the base of the mountain. My quest for the key to jem's CB2000 just beginning.
I reach the base of "The Nipple" a few hours later when I discover my first clue. A large sign with an arrow pointing up saying, "Jem's key." I begin to free climb. A few hours later I summit and see another sign pointing into the woods.
I head in, I'm starting to think this might be pretty easy when I come to the next sign. It points further into the woods but I notice something behind it, barely visible. Is that a cave entrance? I spelunk from time to time and it just might be.
It is! I know I'm being stupid, I'm not properly equipped but I enter the cave anyway. It's fairly large judging from the late afternoon light trickling in through the opening. There is a funk in the air and a storm on the rise. The wind has picked up since I entered the cave filling it with whistling noises.
I peer further in, the rain hitting my back. I figure this is a pretty good place to wait out the storm. I think I see a branch tunnel a little ahead and off to the left. I head towards it, wanting to get out of the weather and hunker down for the night.
I tumble over a hibernating black bear. It's up with a roar and I'm rolling away from it as fast as I can. I spring to my feet noticing that it's between me and the entrance. It sights me and charges.
I wheel and fly down the side tunnel mentally screaming, "Please don't have a pit, please don't have a ..." I fall, managing to curl into a ball before smacking into something hard.
Blackness.
Friday, March 02, 2007
TeaseTime with Daddy
Well if you missed Princess's TeaseTime (10PM EST Thursdays) I am sorry. There was something in the Kool-Aid that night let me tell you! I don't know what but wow it was hopping! At times the room count climbed as high as thirty four and may have gone higher, I don't know I was having too much fun!
I thought for certain I was going to miss this one! I was headed down to "Boob Mountain" to get my shit together. I have been something of a boob of late, maybe this Princess enforced hiatus will help. No prayer of an internet connection, heck no electricity where I'm headed, when the batteries run out on this laptop I'm done until I get back.
My father offered to take me down there on his way to visit relatives. The mountain is aways away and we got off to a late start. He got tired and cranky around 9PM and we hit a hotel. They had wireless internet! I'm surprised because we're in a town called "Bland." I just love that name! They're very proud of their Dairy Queen.
The room has two queen sized beds, dad takes one and I grab the other shielding his view of the laptop while he watches Fox News. I'm really excited because I know Princess is not expecting me and I hope when I enter the room it's a pleasant surprise for Her. I wait until a minute after ten and enter. She seemed glad to see me. I love to pleasantly surprise her!
The room is utterly chaotic and Princess is being swarmed, She's handling it with Her usual aplomb. I don't know how She manages it and stopped wondering, it's just who She is.
She's pointing to the first MP3 and saying it's a long one of ten minutes. And I say something like, "awwww" and She misinterprets what I said as in complaining there aren't more MP3s. She says, "I want to play." I've been experimenting with script writing on the side and mine keep coming out about the size of The Oddity. ::sigh:: Practice makes perfect but I need an editor.
I inform Princess that I really can't participate since my dad is right next to me. I'm as effectively caged as jemmie. Jem ended up having a fine evening so check her blog for that. Princess enjoys my predicament.
I head to the bathroom. When I came back dad's got the laptop and he's typing like a madman. I rip the Mac out of his hands, "Sweet Jesus what have you done??!!! You must be properly trained before entering a Princess Grace TeaseTime! You could loose your miiiind!"
"I love Her"
I'm sputtering, "You ... you DO NOT!"
"I want Her. She named me 'huggy bear' I'm going to call Her!"
"No you're NOT!" and I storm off into the other room with the laptop.
I'm starting to get back into the flow of the room when he calls out, "Which option do I pick?"
"What are you talking about?!"
"Never mind ... I chose the 'daddy' one"
"OH MYYYY GGAAAWWD!"
"Another option? Now which one?"
Fuck it, "Pick number two."
"Daddy in diapers? What sort of sick freak do you think I am?!"
"You are seventy nine years old - FACE FACTS!!!"
"OK, OK ... HELL YES I WANT TO CUM! SHOOT!!! Dial tone. What's her number again?"
"Darn it dad She won't pick up during TeaseTime!"
"You know Her pretty well, huh?"
"I'd like to think I know Her a little."
"Do you think you could arrange an introduction?"
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god ... "Have you lost your ever loving mind?!"
"Ask Her" and he tosses a Visa Gold Card on the laptop.
"MsGrace my father wants to do a father/son call, Your thoughts?"
Princess actually seems to entertain the idea! I'm freaking out, I am a legendary pervert but come on!!! She gets distracted by some shiny comment and the moment passes.
She's asking for the OrgasmFairy so that jem can get her cum-uppance but the fairy is nowhere to be found. I duck into the labs and strap on a little gadget I'd been working on and reenter as "BillyMagicFairy" I'm laying prone hovering about two feet off the ground, with these little fairy wings flapping away, chucking powdered Princess Pink Kool-Aid all over the place, well on the floor anyway. Trying to help.
Princess is having none of it and summons the OrgasmFairy with the words, "Will the real fairy come forward." Which cracked me up. The OrgasmFairy does its thing and jem is permitted to cum.
Princess mentions that She has a date and was gone.
Utterly FANTASTIC TeaseTime Princess Grace!
Hotel room with internet: $100
Father/Son call with Princess Grace: $200
Resulting billybear therapy from said call: $37,500
Having Princess Grace in your life: Priceless!
I thought for certain I was going to miss this one! I was headed down to "Boob Mountain" to get my shit together. I have been something of a boob of late, maybe this Princess enforced hiatus will help. No prayer of an internet connection, heck no electricity where I'm headed, when the batteries run out on this laptop I'm done until I get back.
My father offered to take me down there on his way to visit relatives. The mountain is aways away and we got off to a late start. He got tired and cranky around 9PM and we hit a hotel. They had wireless internet! I'm surprised because we're in a town called "Bland." I just love that name! They're very proud of their Dairy Queen.
The room has two queen sized beds, dad takes one and I grab the other shielding his view of the laptop while he watches Fox News. I'm really excited because I know Princess is not expecting me and I hope when I enter the room it's a pleasant surprise for Her. I wait until a minute after ten and enter. She seemed glad to see me. I love to pleasantly surprise her!
The room is utterly chaotic and Princess is being swarmed, She's handling it with Her usual aplomb. I don't know how She manages it and stopped wondering, it's just who She is.
She's pointing to the first MP3 and saying it's a long one of ten minutes. And I say something like, "awwww" and She misinterprets what I said as in complaining there aren't more MP3s. She says, "I want to play." I've been experimenting with script writing on the side and mine keep coming out about the size of The Oddity. ::sigh:: Practice makes perfect but I need an editor.
I inform Princess that I really can't participate since my dad is right next to me. I'm as effectively caged as jemmie. Jem ended up having a fine evening so check her blog for that. Princess enjoys my predicament.
I head to the bathroom. When I came back dad's got the laptop and he's typing like a madman. I rip the Mac out of his hands, "Sweet Jesus what have you done??!!! You must be properly trained before entering a Princess Grace TeaseTime! You could loose your miiiind!"
"I love Her"
I'm sputtering, "You ... you DO NOT!"
"I want Her. She named me 'huggy bear' I'm going to call Her!"
"No you're NOT!" and I storm off into the other room with the laptop.
I'm starting to get back into the flow of the room when he calls out, "Which option do I pick?"
"What are you talking about?!"
"Never mind ... I chose the 'daddy' one"
"OH MYYYY GGAAAWWD!"
"Another option? Now which one?"
Fuck it, "Pick number two."
"Daddy in diapers? What sort of sick freak do you think I am?!"
"You are seventy nine years old - FACE FACTS!!!"
"OK, OK ... HELL YES I WANT TO CUM! SHOOT!!! Dial tone. What's her number again?"
"Darn it dad She won't pick up during TeaseTime!"
"You know Her pretty well, huh?"
"I'd like to think I know Her a little."
"Do you think you could arrange an introduction?"
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god ... "Have you lost your ever loving mind?!"
"Ask Her" and he tosses a Visa Gold Card on the laptop.
"MsGrace my father wants to do a father/son call, Your thoughts?"
Princess actually seems to entertain the idea! I'm freaking out, I am a legendary pervert but come on!!! She gets distracted by some shiny comment and the moment passes.
She's asking for the OrgasmFairy so that jem can get her cum-uppance but the fairy is nowhere to be found. I duck into the labs and strap on a little gadget I'd been working on and reenter as "BillyMagicFairy" I'm laying prone hovering about two feet off the ground, with these little fairy wings flapping away, chucking powdered Princess Pink Kool-Aid all over the place, well on the floor anyway. Trying to help.
Princess is having none of it and summons the OrgasmFairy with the words, "Will the real fairy come forward." Which cracked me up. The OrgasmFairy does its thing and jem is permitted to cum.
Princess mentions that She has a date and was gone.
Utterly FANTASTIC TeaseTime Princess Grace!
Hotel room with internet: $100
Father/Son call with Princess Grace: $200
Resulting billybear therapy from said call: $37,500
Having Princess Grace in your life: Priceless!
Thursday, March 01, 2007
BillyBear Mountain Bound
MsGrace has ordered me into the mountains with only a Bowie knife and a loin cloth until I get my shit together. I'm to fast and "get right with God, God damn it!" I can't return until I've found the key to jem's CB2000 which She tells me She hid, "Under a rock."
During this hiatus I will be without internet contact.
I'll be thinking of You Princess, like I do every minute of the day.
Be well soft smile
During this hiatus I will be without internet contact.
I'll be thinking of You Princess, like I do every minute of the day.
Be well soft smile
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