Hello Mr. Schneed

As Princess Grace works her magic on me and goes deeper into my head and heart certain cracks begin to develop in the RealWorld. For example at a recent staff meeting:

"Mr. billybear I'm sorry about the quarterly projections sir. We'll do better I promise"

To which I somberly reply, "Awwww poor baby! Are your numby wumbys all down in the dumps hmmmm? NO CUMMIES till billyPrincess sees a 30% increase prezzie by the next quarter! OK honey bunny? ::giggle::"

Usually a sort of stunned silence follows and then, well it's off to HR and my good buddy Mr. Schneed. We've grown rather close over the past few months although I did seem to alienate him at one point.

"Mr. Schneed ..."

"Yes billybear?"

"I couldn't help but notice how you were staring at my dangling loafer and argyle socks ... hmmm ... maybe we can work out an ... arrangement ::giggle::"

"What are you talking about??!! And what was that horrible scratchy sound you just made?"

::sigh:: Yes my giggle does need improvement.

"awww Mr. Schneed it's OK! Really it is! Go ahead and look at my loafer, dangling ... yesss! Good boy! Now tear up that file ... tear it up for billyPrincess!!!"

It took him awhile to get over that one. Anyway we have a system worked out where I put duct tape over my mouth before coming into his office. Sign the forms and leave, it works for both of us, no more uncomfortable silences in the cafeteria line.

Once I made the mistake of complaining about my giggle to Princess during a call. You see I have something of a Barry White voice, let's just say it resides in the lower octaves. Princess of course performed a Princess Pounce, I'll need to employ jem's technique to get across the true caring spirit of Princess:

"awwww sweetie you're not a girl! Do you want to be a giiirrrlll? Hmmmm? ::giggle:: Say for your Princess in your best sissy voice, 'Princess, please teach me how to giggle like a girl!'"

Barry White repeats the line falsetto.

Princess understandingly replies, "LMAO!!!! LMFAOOOOO!!!!"

Once She regains Her composure She says, "Oh no that will never do billybear! Let's go younger and work our way up. Say to mommy Princess, 'Ma Ma Pwincess teach baby billy to giggle goo goo gaa gaa' in your very best baby voice! ::anticipatory giggling:: awwww come on billybear, pway with me!"

Barry White repeats the line falsetto.

There's a considered silence on the phone while Princess judges the response. Then she erupts with, "LMFAOOOOOOO!!! LMAO LMAO!!! Oh my gawd!!! Say it again!"

Needless to say THAT was a long night - soft smile.

I've come to live for that open honest laugh of Hers like many of you yearn for a hiccup. I'll do almost anything for that open laugh. I'll do anything for that open laugh followed by a snort.