Gone Fishin'

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Is this thing on? I've got to be careful here because I don't want to burn any bridges.

Yes, Tracer gosh darn it pour gas all over it! We can't afford to leave any of these dangerous technologies behind, if they get into ace's or lucky's (tosses nickel) hands there will be hell to pay! Christ only knows what jem would do with this stuff - that's scary!

Billy lights a cig and stares at the Dictaphone. I hate dead blogs. People just leave, gone, their blogs left like so much cyber-litter, afterthoughts, abandoned children, stillborn ideas. Another broken down car on the information super highway. You never know what happened.

It irritates me, best to do one of two things. Put the thing down like a rabid dog the way lucky (tosses another nickel) did or go my route and mothball the thing until you can get back to it.

roboMittens turn on the comment clock for seven days, after that, no more comments till we're back. Nooooo leave that counter running ...

So I made a breakthrough in Superstring Theory and M-Theory allowing me to create the USS BillyBear! Isn't she a bute? Did you just roll your eyes mittens? Keep packing C4 into the transmorgifier - sheesh. You just don't understand engineering the way I do, genius is pain! I'm an artist, I'm sensitive as shit! It's a very sophisticated piece of technology and can be used as a FTL device. We're gonna light the fuse, jack roboMittens into the FTL, open a wormhole in folded n-space and pop out in front of Princess's house, where we can see the mushroom cloud that was once the labs while eating cucumber sandwiches and drinking Diet Mountain Dew (we brought a Diet Coke for Princess).

How cool is that?

Yeah, so ... anyway. I really like my blog and my stupid stories and trying to get a comment here and there. I'm not quite to the point of putting her down yet. I'm hoping to tidy it up, leave my 'gone fishin' post so if anyone strolls by they'll know, well, that I cared enough for my little blog to not leave it hanging.

My reasons for doing this are myriad, complicated and none of your concern.

All set? Cool, everyone into the USS BillyBear! Mittens, check, Tracer, check, roboMittens, check, dildoMittens, yes you too dildoMittens, I know you freak people out but you're still coming, check.

I'll light the fuse - OK, close the lid. roboMittens do your thing!

Two protons expelled at each coupling site creates the mode of force the embryo becomes a fish that we don't enter until A-plate we're here to experience evolve the little toe atrophy don't ask me how I'll be dead in a thousand light years thank you thank you Genesis turns to its source reduction occurs stepwise though the essence is all one end of line. FTL system check diagnostic functions within parameters repeats the harlequin the agony exquisite the colors run the path of ashes fifty-two percent of heat exchanger cross-collateralized with hyper-dimensional matrix upper senses repair ordered relay to zero, zero, zero, zero

end of line.
jump

DRADIS contact - Cylon basestar.

Super!

Nuclear missile launch, impact in three minutes.

beep! beep! beep! beep! beep! beep! ...

Well that's overkill, I guess they're seriously annoyed. Tracer quit saying 'beep' and blow that thing out of the sky!

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

Uh, Tracer I don't think a forty-five is gonna cut it pal, one problem is that it's gonna take about a year for the bullets to reach the target before they ping off it's shields.

Use the kinetic cannons and launch a counter battery of FTL missiles.

What do you mean you didn't bring 'that crap'?! It wouldn't fit??? You might have mentioned that before we left!

Impact in two minutes.

Oh for shits sake! roboMittens blind jump us out of here!

Insufficient power.

Nervous giggle, wrings paws

Come here roboMittens, let me slap a fresh set of AAs in you. Did I ever tell you about the time I spent a year in Philadelphia? I think it was on a Sunday - W.C. Fields, I just love that guy!

There! I hate those darned screws they put over the battery packs anymore. Stupid lawyers!

Impact in fifty seconds

Blind jump! Safety override, zed, zed, zed.

I know we might end up in the middle of a star mittens but that's gonna happen anyway if we don't get out of here ... come here kitten sit on my lap, we'll be fine, roboMittens is all over it!

Impact in thirty seconds

Execute roboMittens!

One degree angle nominal seascape portrait of the woman child cavern of the soul under pressure-heat ratio ides of evolutions have buried their fears find the hand that lies in the shadow of the light in the eye of the husband of the eye of the cow mists of dreams drip along the nascent echo and love no more intelligence a mind that burns like a fire end of line.

roboMittens how about canning the happy babble and getting to the jump? Drat! Here they come, toss me one of those guns Tracer, climb on my shoulder mittens so I can hear that yummy purr ...

FTL system check diagnostic functions within parameters echoes Schrödinger's cat seven percent of n-space cross-collated with hyper-dimensional matrix lower thermocouple repair complete relay to zero, one, zero, zero

BANG BANG BANG BANG ...

end of line.

Voodoo is the Best Doo-doo

"You're certain this will work? She hasn't posted since August 2nd!"

The gypsies' rheumy eyes are hard and cold. Her weathered face collapses into the myriad wrinkles of a shrunken head resembling a smile, "Of course it will work. Place the pen in the doll's hand, mutter the sacred words, 'Pretty, pretty please post! Me sooo horny, you post for me long time!' and She'll be COMPELLED to post. Anyway what have you got to loose?"

"Nothing"

BillyBear tentatively hands the old gypsy five dollah and takes the doll and pen.

Back in his lab he places the doll on an autopsy table, puts the pen in its' hand and says, "Pretty, pretty please post! Me sooo horny, you post for me long time!"

He begins to monitor Princess's blog closely.

Happy Birthday MsTara!

Well I was going to follow jem's instructions but I really couldn't bring myself to wish MsTara a very happy birthday under a post titled "BIG BLACK DICK." It just didn't seem right.

Anyway in typical billybear fashion, a day late and a dollar short I would like to say:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MSTARA!!!

I hope all your wishes come true!

Zulu Dawn

I like to write, just the act of it can bring me mountains of pleasure. My blog reflects this.

My August is shot. I mention this so that those of you who care, who read my musings understand that billybear is going to ground.

I will attempt to keep some presence in this space, sorta like ace and I hope to come back in early to mid September though I doubt I can keep my fingers off the keyboard that long.

Every weekend is booked. Work is handing my ass to me. Now I've just received 'the call.'

'The call' hurts, what is dragging me down is that I'm in the age bracket where not so much my peers are being taken down except for the occasional lucky shot but my parent's group is just being decimated. It's fucking Zulu Dawn over there and all I can do is watch and wait, not my turn to join the front lines ... yet. My father comes from a farming family, a large family, a close family. My Aunt lays on her death bed, her large heart finally failing. I watch my parents closely now, pay more attention to our time together. Soon I will get the next call, pallbearer time again, the ten hour drive to place my aunt in the cold, cold ground next to my Uncle in a family graveyard on a once was farm. Fewer will attend then the last God damned wake.

I'm sorry. These ramblings are not for what MsTara accurately calls the Willow World. This forever happy place.

I just wanted to let you know that I'm not pulling a banky here, I don't plan on just evaporating, not yet anyway but in all honesty I am flaky and fucked up with grief. Like her husband she is and all too soon 'was' a great lady. We are close.

I'll drop comments when I can, attend TeaseTime when I can and not bring anyone down with my woes. But my blog, well it's taking a bullet right now. Time for bed.

Thought you should know ...

Cold Turkey

billy paces back and forth across the lab chain smoking, humming.

Temperatures rising, Fever is high, Can't see no future, Can't see no sky

It's been over a week since he's heard from his pretty, pretty Princess. She couldn't make TeaseTime due to technical difficulties last night.

My feet are so heavy, So is my head, I wish I was a baby, I wish I was dead

The fact that it looks like his ENTIRE August is shot, every damned weekend filling up, might have made him a tad cranky.

My body is aching, Goose-pimple bone, Can't see no body, Leave me alone

So yeah, billy might have single handedly trashed the chatroom trying to start a riot by initially smacking mcatee3 over the head with a chair. That's what happens when you're a little too close to billy when bad news is delivered. Mittens®™ purrs her appreciation of poor poor mcatee3.

My eyes are wide open, Can't get to sleep, One thing I'm sure of, I'm in at the deep freeze

Maybe just maybe he paid lip service to MissAlana's 'behave' before setting jem on fire and throwing her at 'the messenger' pantysue. He almost feels bad about jem having given up smoking for three weeks, well she can go on the wagon again. Finally his rage culminating in blowing the fingers off of jennifer who was holding a stick of dynamite that an overzealous b4hercntrl lit.

Thirty-six hours, Rolling in pain, Praying to someone, Free me again

He is no longer angry with pantysue, regretting approaching her with a Spatula of Dispair. His initial jealousy consuming him that Princess had sent an apologetic SMS message to her and not him. His disappointment overriding all other considerations.

Oh I'll be a good boy, Please make me well, I promise you anything, Get me out of this hell

Even if Princess wanted to send an SMS to billy there is no way he could take an SMS message from Her in the first place. All the technology had gone into the n-space folder including his cell phone.

He feels bad about his actions, particularly his indirect disappointment with Princess. He looks distractedly for a suddenly missing mittens®™ before resuming his line of thought.

She's having quality play time with Her boytoy and was willing to play with her pets during that time and managed to figure out a way to communicate with the room that she can't get in.

Princess AND boytoy deserve this play time. She tried, She can't make it. Suck it up billybear. She's not my mom. I'll wait for Her, because I choose to. I'll miss Her as I always do when She's not about.

shrugs

August is going to be a cruel month for me, fucking RealWorld. Oh I'll be a good boy ...

Cold turkey has got me on the run ...

Thursday on Awwww Poor Baby!

Thursday on a tender, moving Awwww Poor Baby

A special someone will be further perverted during Princess Grace's TeaseTime (hosted chat: 10PM Eastern just about every Thursday)

"Well if you thought I was distracted with lucky awhile back, you haven't seen anything yet. I've been letting this young man 'stew' in his own juices under unremitting teasing for a very long time! He's so far beyond doing Anything for Me that there isn't even a word for it!" Said The Mother Fucking Princess of all time, "He said I could fuck him so I'm bringing the rooster 'pecker', he is so much more vocal and squirmy than a cantaloupe. And 'pecker' well he's quite a fighter, quite a cock. You think he'll likeeee?" She asks before collapsing under a hail of giggles, "Me toooooo!"

Yes one must be careful around these farm girls.

"Or maybe Sir Quacks A Lot, a pet duck. I've always wanted to say, 'Go fuck a duck!' with meaning." She suddenly looks pensive while rubbing a flogger across Her lips, "I can't decide, maybe both, let Me think on it," before shoving the flogger into a footlocker crammed with 'toys.' "Either way all that ruckus will make for a hell of an MP3! QUACK quack quack quack QUAAAAACCCCKKK! good times, good times"

Will Princess and Her lecherous toy show up at TeaseTime so that we can all offer our 'help' or will we be left in a Princessless chatroom mentally hearing the taunting cry of 'Awwww Poor Babies!'

Tune into the main chatroom at 10PM Eastern this Thursday, August 9th to find out!

Only on PRV!

A Still Summer Night (Princess Call)

Sitting in a puddle of moonlight near a wild strawberry patch, he plucks another succulent berry from the vine. Placing it in his mouth he rolls his tongue over the rough surface before biting down into liquid sunshine. Tart, sweet, both at war both in harmony.

He studies the fireflies as they blink on and off dancing like sprites, he's looking for a pattern, not finding one but believing it's there anyway, just beyond his ken. Sampling another strawberry he closes his eyes to better hear and feel the warm breeze as it blows across the tall grass and disturbs the trees making the most basic of music as it combines with crickets and other night sounds.

He isn't happy, he isn't sad, but he's at peace. A state of being he relishes as much as the strawberry melting in his mouth.

The aroma of strawberries have combined with other summer scents. Freshly cut hay, wildflowers, a hint of cotton candy merging with the sounds which fire off synapses of past summer pleasures, that first jump off the high board, fighting for balance on a training wheel free bike, driving a car, the first girl he truly noticed as a girl, his first best friend.

Springing from the tall grass she's upon him, pinning him to the soft ground, her hands on his shoulders, straddling him. Giggling she stage whispers, "GOTCHA!" before delivering a long, soft kiss.

"You taste yummy" she sighs as they settle back to look at the night sky and comfortably talk about whatever they want to talk about. Her head pillowed on his arm, she waits for him. Eventually he can take it no more, gently kissing her on the cheek he whispers, "I want you so badly!"

Rolling back on top of him, nuzzling his ear she whispers back, "Why do you think I'm here silly?"

Gentle giggles and soft moans merge with the other night sounds as two friends play in the moonlight by a strawberry patch.

We interrupt this post with a word from our sponsors!

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billybear labs PROUDLY presents the future of phone-sex!

I'm gonna make a fortune off this! evil giggle




Tonight on Awwww Poor Baby!

Crushed in the polls by an imaginary cat ...

I was NOT! It was a TIE!

Sold into slavery by an uncaring Mistress ...

WHAT?!

Look our ratings are down so we sold your contract to CBS. You're Couric's bitch now and she couldn't be happier!

But, but billy needs his Princess!

Look Princess would only agree to 'a little while' since you've been 'a bit too whiny of late.' Now off you go.

NO!

Is someone fussy?

You motherfucker!

Watch billybear throw a big hissy fit that will rival his famous chatroom meltdown. Gape in wonder at the lengths billybear will go to hear his Princess's perfect voice and watch as his face scrunches up, tears form and lower lip trembles when he finally succumbs to, "Awww Poor Baby!"

Tonight, only on PRV!

Special thanks to jem, lucky and ace for suggesting this!

What? What did you say?

Nothing.

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What the holy hell was that? Nothing quite like a commercial break to ruin the mood! Sheesh! I might have gotten laid here, darn it! What do you mean I post so much that blogger is charging us and we have to generate revenue with these commercials? For shits' sake!

As you may have surmised I had a call with Princess last night. I don't discuss my calls much in this blog, but if you want to know how it felt for me reread the paragraphs above.

Even if I don't talk much about them I will continue to acknowledge our calls. They are important to me. Any of you that have had the pleasure and fun of talking with Princess Grace know that She is a wonderful call. I've been hanging around as Her pet for 282 days now and what some of you might not realize is that our calls very much resemble two pals laying on their backs on a summer night simply enjoying each other's company.

There's only one way to experience that level of yumminess, because I can not adequately describe what effect the slow tick-tock of time has on two people, thousands of miles apart who will never meet but are starting to know each other quite well. Do it.

And if you don't wanna that's OK too, She'll still fuck you silly and you will walk away with a great summer memory!

Getting to Know Me Part IV

Another chapter in Princess's Get to Know Each Other game. Hmmmm, let's see what we have here.

1) If a spaceship lands next to you, and inside is "The Universal Book of Everything" and you have to write down one question that matters. Any question that you could then find out the answer too.....what would your BIG question be? And why would you ask that one?

(reading the book What the Bleep Do We Know!? and this is one of the first questions it asks us to ponder...thanks to the wonderful boy who got Me the book too *wink*)

I think my question is a different flavor of Princess's. Is there a God? I'm mildly amused that I'm asking a metaphysical question in a science fiction setting, the 'Is there life on other planets?' question having been answered by the spaceship.

2) So which would it be, if you could have sex with either Maryanne or Ginger? And why did you pick the one you did?

Not both? Well I've got this thing for a particular brunette farm girl, a real girl next door type, I choose Her. I have visions of Ginger getting me off and then bitching up a storm on the mess I just made on her pretty dress. Maryanne on the other hand would dig the mess I made for her. I think she would like sex, hard, nasty, sweaty and most of all fun.

3) How do you masturbate? Do you romance yourself? Get straight to the point? Read erotic material? Think naughty thoughts? (this is when your not calling Me lol)

billy props up a mirror at the candle lit table, "More wine my darling?" He feels that if he can get himself drunk enough he might, just might, get very lucky tonight!

Yeah when I call You it's much more of a production. When I'm all by myself I tend to shut my eyes and run a fantasy (starring Princess) in my head.

4) If you could turn into any animal, which would it be?

Human. Being a member of the care bear master race has its drawbacks (REALLY! It's true!)

In spirit of the question: peregrine falcon. I'd like to fly, and I want to be the predator, not the prey.

5) If money was no object, where would you move to live? Or would you stay where you are? Why?

There is a place in NC where I would go.