Crime Scene Investigation

Update: Princess Grace posted a bit of a back story to this unwinding tale! Thanks for playing Princess - I suspect you'll be interviewed by Friday and Tracer and maybe even MsAva! :-) If you're a BSG geek Princess posted a nice comment on the Razor post too which I'll have to comment on too.

Tracer suspiciously eyes a lone singer on the sidewalk belting out tunes for change with a harmonica and a banged up accustic guitar, "You read the paper a few days ago?"

Friday positions herself between Tracer and the singer blocking Tracer from doing something rash. His loathing of street singing is well documented by various police reports ever since he got booted off of American Idol, "Yep - you mean that whining beggy article? Filled with 'I beseech you ...' and 'I implore you" ...'

As they near the singer Tracer pauses to listen.

Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your mouth,
Blowing down the back roads headin' south.
Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your teeth,
You're an idiot, babe.
It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe.

"Yeah, that one - I laughed my ass off."

"Well Tracer I did too but there was sincerity that I found endearing, and then I puked in my mouth a little."

Both detectives chuckle as they duck under the police tape. Tracer eyes Friday. Her hair is pulled back in a severe bun, she's wearing a white blouse and a gray ankle length skirt with white socks and mary jane shoes along with horn rim glasses.

"What's up with the outfit Friday?"

"Tracer you know that Paradise doesn't have a Crime Scene Investigation unit! That's why the town hired us. I'm just trying to look professional!"

"You don't wear glasses Friday!"

"I look more official!"

"Do not."

"Do too."

"NOOOOOTTTTTTT"

"TOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Well that dog collar you're wearing makes you look like a perverted librarian - professional my ass."

"Princess gave me that collar Tracer."

And Tracer knew that was that. End of story on the attire. He unconsciously takes out a cigarette and lights it and looks at the crime scene. Exhaling smoke he asks, "Any confessions?"

Friday glares at Tracer, "It's been thirty minutes since BillyBear was shot - so - no!"

"Was just hoping to get home a little early today Friday."

"Yeah I know Tracer - I handle your mail - I saw that your latest issue of Princess Tats came in."

"Well I'm hoping to see the legendary 'lower back tat'! It's suppose to be in this issue! So, where'd the shot come from?"

"THAT'S ONE OF THE THINGS WE HAVE TO FIGURE OUT!"

"I think that bun is making you cranky - simmer down. Hey! What's all this stuffing? Did your falsies pop out Friday? Wait - that evil check kiter jem, you know the one with the enormous gazoongas - is she doing that weird cummy game again? Ewwwww am I standing in jem jizz?"

"Ewwwwww Tracer YUCK!"

A brunette, wearing a long trench coat like a flasher, a fedora and black stiletto boots walks up muttering in a tinkerbell voice, "Those are billy's brains ..."

Both detectives jump back, "EWWWWWWW!"

The brunette, a hint of cotton candy about her, whispers in Tracer's ear.

"Thanks some hot babe who couldn't be Princess Grace! Friday! Get your ass out of Billy's Brain and let's go talk to this jem character!!! NOW GOD DAMMIT!"

"What Tracer?"

"Look at that poll over there! And that hot babe who couldn't be Princess said the shooter had 'HUGEEEEE big tripple E breasts.' Let's go talk to this 'jem'!"