Wookie addiction.
The power of the carebear wookie is beyond the comprehension of your puny minds! It is not to be trifled with, it's healing powers are legendary. Its ability to induce continual, intense, ungodly orgasms in females was once a well guarded secret, but now the secret is out.
Once again I must rise to defend a persecuted people. Once again I must lead a people to dignity. Once again I shall bear the burden proudly but I ask, no I beg for your help.
Now in his post lucky identifies this poor bear as billyPrincess. He's wrong. I know we carebears all look the same to people. I've taken many a beating in the chatroom for the crimes of others but I digress. That's not billyPrincess, that's poofyBear, my college roommate.
As this horrific still shows, we see a female in the grips of wookie addiction. She's already worn down poofyBear's once majestic wookie to a nub of it's former glory. Poor poofyBear is so totally stoned, so thoroughly drugged that she even has to 'fluff' his wondrous wookie before feeding her dark demonic desires. At times she even resorts to beating the pitiful poofyBear and forcing him to 'eat her pussy' so completely enslaved she's become to the wookie. Now that she's hooked she'll spend the rest of her life in search of more wookie, never satisfied, consumed, enthralled by the wookie. She might have been a brain surgeon, but no more. Her mind has been shattered.
Please help me help my people. Send whatever cash you can to BillyBear c/o BillyBear Labs and I'll make certain it gets into the proper hands! This terrible addiction can be stopped in its tracks. Send as much money, car titles, free phonesex minutes or nude photos of Princess Grace as you possibly can! Every little bit helps and you can write it off your taxes.
Please help me protect the wookie and in doing so protect yourselves!!!
Remember ...
A wookie is a terrible thing to waste! Please help!!!
i don't understand why she is holding a banana in that picture Billy?
ReplyDeletepantysue
Are you saying we could never do such things wolver? Are you saying there is no chance of us like everrrrrrrr doing that? *sob*
ReplyDeleteLike are you saying we could never do such things wolver? Like we could never truely join in our dark love for each other? Like...why not? *sob*
ReplyDeleteAre you saying we could never do such things wolver?
ReplyDeleteMY DARK DARLING I am so sorry you had to ask your question in two different ways!!! MsTara and MsGrace grounded me after our night of dark angsty heavy petting we celebrated in the bushes!!! They're making me do these dumb public service messages too.
Of course I'll be happy to completely and totally addict you to my wookie! You are the only one for me so it's not irresponsible, it's just love.
So pump me full of Thorazine and take me, take me NOW! I know our love will conquer any addiction and we'll video tape it to prove it to the world!!!
OMG! I so love your blog! It fills me with despair. Your first post is poetry a Spartan dying on the battle field would envy! GAWD I love you!
In fact I love you so much that I've stripped here in the bushes by jem's house, painted myself pink and am clutching two purple pompoms. I drank an entire bottle of Thorazine.
My wookie rises ... I am the wookie king.
THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU V! I LIE NAKED AND HELPLESS IN JEM'S BUSHES WAITING FOR YOU TO GRAB MY WOOKIE AND SHOVE IT UP THAT TIGHT ANGSTY GOTH TEENAGE ASS OF YOURS!
YOU SAID YOU LOVE ME V! PROVE IT. I've made myself completely helpless for you, I can't move a muscle. Wide, er ride the wookie baby.
Where are you V? You said you loved ... me ...
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz
I know we carebears all look the same to people. I've taken many a beating in the chatroom for the crimes of others but I digress>>
ReplyDeleteI thought you always blamed the innocent saintly Jembug for your crimes, Billybear? As someone who beats you quite frequently, I would certainly know the difference between a large alien praying mantis with enormous bimbo boobs and a festively plump currently teenaged angsty Goth wolverBilly. Or are you implying I have been somehow MISTAKEN when I've thrashed...I mean, gently corrected your erring behavior?
Or are you implying I have been somehow MISTAKEN when I've thrashed...I mean, gently corrected your erring behavior?
ReplyDeleteMsTara I'm a little peeved with my circumstances at the moment. My girlfriend is pissed at me, you and MsGrace have grounded me for making out with the babe that is V AND made me do that 'Save the Wookie' public service announcement. Now I'm laying pink and naked in some bushes and you're asking me inane questions!
Nervous giggle, can't wring paws
I'm certain you're goth/cool/hip/mod/hep enough to know that 'inane' now means 'insightful' in the new kid lingo. So I wont directly address your 'moronic' question since you know that too has nuance similar to 'inane'. I'm so glad you're square!
I have noticed that everyone is susceptible to the evil that is jem and yes many a time she has used her boobs for evil, distorting the space time continuum and folding reality with their gravity fields until it appears that I have committed a crime that she actually did when I was merely egging her on.
I KNOW I don't need to explain 'egging her on' to you!
Oh wolver...why are you like laying there naked? And so like ewwww, why is that dog like licking you there?? OMG.....I am like so out of here! Find Me when you are like...not busy ripping my heart out!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete*stomping off*
*sitting alone in the dark*
ReplyDeleteI must write to pour out my soul. My brooding, heart broken lost soul......
why is that dog like licking you there??
ReplyDeleteWhere? V WHERE IS THE DOG LICKING ME??!! I can't feel anything from the neck down - stoopid Thorazine!!
Don't go! I did this for our love V!
Dear god, I think the dog is trying to roll me over!
THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT BY ANGSTY ANAL SEX!!!!
Thank god I put on a few pounds! ::starts thinking 'heavy' thoughts::
billy!!! What have you gotten yourself into now? Go on, leave him alone puppy! That's a good puppy.
ReplyDeleteNow see billy, what would have happened if I was not coming over to see jemmie?? You would have been left as a doggy hump doll.
I have tried to understand this new side of you....but this is getting out of control!
You seeing that bad V girl is a idea! I tried to tell you, but you just would nottttt listen.
Come on baby. Lets go get you all cleaned up. *carrying billy to the car, to bring him home*
What would you do without Me???
*I've stripped here in the bushes by jem's house*
ReplyDeleteHah! I KNEW I'd get my revenge for that day on Giantess Island sooner or later! Why do you think I brought back that jar of mutant poison sumac seeds?
Hahahahaha! Enjoy the next couple of months, you maroon! Scooting and rolling around on the rug helps a little when it really starts to itch!
Yer pal,
l.b.a.
Oh lawsie, Princess Grace, did Billy almost become a doggie's hump puppet AGAIN? You'd think eventually he'd LEARN! At least the sight of her dark lover getting
ReplyDeletemolested by rover's tongue seems to have cooled that little halfwitted slut's jets down some.
I put a tub of turpentine in the basement if you want to wash the pink off him. Once you're done with him, let me know? He's got another beating...um, gentle correction coming for thinking I could be deceived with his so called hep jive slang. No rush, I know you must have plans for him yourself:)
*Come on baby. Lets go get you all cleaned up. *carrying billy to the car, to bring him home*
ReplyDeletePrincess, be sure to scrub him good and hard.. that should start him itching really bad!
l.b.a.
billy!!! What have you gotten yourself into now?
ReplyDeleteI was trying to show V how much I loved her Princess but she just ran off, she didn't care! And then that dog almost had me rolled over like a turtle! V doesn't care.
I have tried to understand this new side of you....but this is getting out of control!
I've tried to tell you Princess. I've written a million poems but no one reads them. I even left one on V's blog because I thought she'd understand me but no.
I tried to tell you, but you just would nottttt listen.
SHE LOVES ME! SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER LOVED ME!!!
WHY DOESN'T ANYONE EVER LISTEN TO ME, HUH?" I thave thoughts too, really meaningful ones!
What would you do without Me???
I'd probably be that dog's bitch by now.
did Billy almost become a doggie's hump puppet AGAIN?
I WAS CANINE CURIOUS MSTARA!!! IT WAS JUST A PHASE!
I put a tub of turpentine in the basement if you want to wash the pink off him.
Oh sure! Erase all evidence of my dark gothic love! Why not? ERASE ME!!!
for thinking I could be deceived with his so called hep jive slang.
You mean you're NOT an inane moron? I thought you were SQUARE MsTara!!! It figures that ON THE DARKEST DAY OF MY LIFE all of my illusions would be shattered like my soul to wither on the basement floor of my abasement!
No rush, I know you must have plans for him yourself:)
Uh, plans? What's that evil giggle mean? WHAT? You can tell me!
Princess, be sure to scrub him good and hard.. that should start him itching really bad!
What's jem talking about? Why does she hate me so? WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME??? Can you scratch my bottom MsGrace? It feels sorta itchy...
You were like CANINE CURIOUS?? Like, what does that even mean?? Did you WANT to be like the dogs play toy?? That is sooo twisted.... as much as I think it is like nasty....the dark taboo twisted side of it...so makes Me feel like even closer to you!!!!
ReplyDeleteHave you ever wanted to fuck near like a dead body too?? Tell me wolver. ~evil giggles~
And you're right wolver....no one like understands you but Me. It's ok because I so love your dark brooding self!!!!!! You are My epic love, like yeah know.
My Darling angry goth fucking princess,
ReplyDeleteI am getting very upset with you. You have been a very bad girl tormenting all these lost souls. I will make you come home at once and you will receive a severe spanking that you deserve should you keep this up. Do we understand one another?
Your Daddy
Um Daddy, I don't mean to be a bad girl.They just make it soooo easy for Me to be. ~evil giggles~
ReplyDeleteOhhhh a spanking Daddy! You know how that makes Me feel. *lip quivering* Do I really need one Daddy?
~giggles~
*sobbing and squirming after the spanking over daddy' legs*
ReplyDeleteWhy does it like so make me excited when you spank me daddy?
*squirming waiting for the answer, as a black tear slides down my face*
Why does it like so make me excited when you spank me daddy?
ReplyDeleteuhhhhhhhhh
Exactly how old are you anyway?
Like why do you ask wolver? Don't I seem mature to you? Do you like not trust Me? I mean...don't I look like the mature type to you? I mean, like totally....ugh!
ReplyDeleteIM NOT TELLING YOU!
*running away crying*
No my darling goth princess, that was most definitely NOT a salami you felt in my pocket while you were bent over my lap for your well deserved spanking. I am VERY happy to see you.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea about this horrible negligence of justice. I'd be happy to write you a nice, big check...
ReplyDeleteSigh... Ms Sassa took my checkbook. Here's a pez dispenser instead. Hope it helps! :)
As for the rest of the comments here... I'm pretending I don't see them so I don't have to testify at the trial.