Newspaper Biz

pantysue was meandering through a day or so ago and asked a very good question!

And just what does a pet have to do to get on your friends list?

In our biz we have no friends. In order to shine the harsh light of objective truth and bring you the high quality of News (yes with a capital 'N') you've come to expect from The Occasional Assassin we can have no friends.

We're bummed out about it. On the staff we don't even like each other... much. And two of the three staff members are imaginary which means we don't like ourselves... OH! That reminds me to take my Thorazine! Screw it, I'm fine.

Glancing at our sidebar in a nervous, skittish way we see that pantysue has pointed out an artifact from a bygone era. A time when we had friends. We'll correct that oversight in due time.

Pantysue Continues to Run Amok

Imaginary sources close to the mysterious ('psoo'? best we can come up with is phone sex operator ophthalmologist) pantysue indicate that she's going to pierce herself with a railroad spike. In fact this railroad spike:

"It's been in the family since the well I don't know, but I know, well I think I heard somewhere great grandpa BraLoverLenny pulled it out of a railroad derailing a train carrying stuff which lead to a lot of noise... and..." pantysue trails off under mittens' doubtful glare, "OK, OK I bought it on eBay... quit staring at me!"

Pantysue, looking somewhat pensive but putting on a brave face and too much mascara said, "Once I ram this puppy through, that cage is never coming off! Ha jemmie! HA! HA! HA!"

In other pantsue news she's either gotten a boob job or is consumed with, how you say? wishful thinking but she's asking for breast form sizes so she can wear a third world bra where they can't afford cups. What are breast forms? We thought you were a serious sissy pantsue and got the boob job since you were doing the spike thing and the needles and stuff now we have to retract the first sentence of this paragraph and we don't want to - too much work so get the boob job you sissy you and pert ones that might be explainable in the locker room!

Bankyboo Dishes

Well bankyboo decided to let us know what perversions he's been indulging in of late and managed to get caged again to boot. Check it out! One particular comment gave us pause:

i mostly ended up with a little mess on my tummy before pulling my diaper back up over my little sissy cock

Diaper? The reason I somewhat nervously bring it up is that I recently turned fifty and note that banky's 'About Me' section informs me that he's fifty-six. So I'm nervously asking, uh, banky this is a turn on thing for you right? The diaper? Because... well... anyway I hope that's what it is! Feel free to lie to me if necessary!

jem Finally Posts About Last Thursday's TeaseTime

Well, about time. Anyway jem is suing us apparently. For slander. ROLL. We'd say more about the post but since we're getting sueeeeeeeed.

Sticks tongue out at jem...