MsTara and I go way back. I keep an eye on her blog and you should too!
Personally I find her blog most fun when she gets in a bit of a dander like in this post, "And I think offering ladies who can discuss humiliation, orgasm denial, and a score of other fetish fantasies with knowledge, understanding and a good sense of humor is VERY positive," and then invites comment. This was after a rather impassioned defense of Seymore Butts. Her blog is quirky and fun.
So we were saddened to learn that she's damned and a member of the undead. As she tearfully writes in her blog, [Now I'm condemned to] "cruising the clubs for a beauty to slake my first Dark Thirst after my vampire lover mesmerized me and made me his Companion of the Night."
Poor thing. We'll tape her horrific screams when we finally trap her and stake her undead ass. So very tragic, but these things happen.
Mittens Undercover
As you know ace reported in his blog "It took much longer than expected, but I finally got us to the first stop on the Kinky Road Trip." The Weekly Assassin is proud to report that ace didn't get lost, mittens did! We drugged ace using the old bait and switch technique at a local Outback Steakhouse and held him in a Bangkok brothel/opium den for over a month (tigers have a 'thing' for being fed opium by hot Asian hookers and so remembers nothing - but we took pictures ace - just in case!) while sweet mittens performed her crafty task of learning more about the enigmatic ace and his new gal pal the mysterious Sassa.
Mittens took her duties quite seriously and like De Niro in Raging Bull added some weight to appear more like a tiger. Deep under cover mittens learned things about ace that will turn your hair white! Read all about it in her upcoming exposé:
Ace, the Tiger, the Legend, the Stroker
mittens - undercover!Princess Shows Up!
Dropping into her hosted chat a fashionably seven minutes late Princess Grace explained her recent absence with some cock and bull story about being trapped in a attic by a bunch of fans (58.516 days since last post and counting). We at The Assassin remain sceptical and put it to an immediate test, firing off:
MING: ning ning an hoa buitic molly moo moo nagit!
Which is Cantonese for "Ming let us know if you're acting as a stenographer in some manner or it's back to the reeducation camp!"
A little while later Princess was working out on tease me for cash and said, "Oh tease Ming love you looong time you buy off wish list yes big boy? Ming make happy happy gooey gooey!"
We at The Assassin stand firmly behind our house of cards made up story! Princess has lost the ability to type and it might be contagious! We would never induce panic in our readership but has anyone heard from lucky recently? We bet $20 of jem's Princess Dollars (settle down jem, we're good for it) that he has forgotten how to type too!
Check out jem's blog - there might be a Tease Time report there - or not - who knows? Jem has recently spoken with Princess so may be infected. Go lookie. We wont because we don't want to catch it!
Umm, billy? For someone who claims to enjoy my blog so much (quirky and fun, thank you!!), you sure dont' read it closely. That vampire stuff? FANTASY!! As in, what I do for a living? Wonderful fantasies, for the pleasure and torment of my callers. I am NOT undead. No need to stake my spectacular ass (unless that was some kind of pervy carebear comment, and then.. you know... EEEUUIIWWW) as I am very much alive. I can see myself in the mirror and everything - and it's a really nice site when I'm all out of the shower and nekkid, with bead of water on my soft fragrant skin, rolling down to my moist..
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm alive and all is well, you neckless CareBear Perv.
(And I'm very sorry that I missed TeaTime when you had escaped the Nazi Dinner Regime for once.)
you sure dont' read it closely. That vampire stuff? FANTASY!!
ReplyDeleteMsTara, what is your point? Maybe you can explain to my vast readership why one can NOT find a single bottle of sunblock SPF two million in your state? Hmmmmm?
You probably have your minions at Coppertone just ship it direct to your vast underground warehouse.
Or maybe you can explain why you've recently never been seen lying seductively on a bed of garlic cloves at your local grocery store? Didn't think so!
I can see myself in the mirror
SO YOU SAY!
I'm very sorry that I missed TeaTime
Yesss and I had brought the Holy Water to brew the tea with. Most curious, most curious indeed!
Everyone knows that your line of work is fraught with danger. This was bound to happen sooner or later, a moment of weakness and now you're a hot Vampire who's going to dragged screaming into a tanning salon and staked. Nice try MsTara but we at the Assassin remain unconvinced. Now let's make this easy on everyone since we don't like work or thinking much, where is your LAIR?