Twelve Nights in Bangkok

Princess Grace has "asked" me to go to Bangkok until I get my shit together. She's been 'a tad disappointed' with my various back to nature and time travel endeavors and feels that this might do the trick. Plus She's 'not in the mood' for me to rip a hole in the universe so that I can see what's on the other side. Go figure.

"Once in Bangkok you are to go to Patpong, Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza spending four nights in each district."

"Are those some sort of health clubs Princess?" I ask thinking of her recent love affair with Wheat Grass.

"Um, yeah. Each night you are to purchase some marijuana, opium and Viagra, whatever drops your inhibitions. Indulge, insert the aneros, put on something 'naughty' and then go out and find yourself a girl you like, sometimes two but on the first night just one. Bring her back to your place."

"I'm not very lucky with the ladies Princess."

"Where you're at billybear that will NOT be a concern!"

"But I'm a four foot tall, blue care bear!"

"DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! It is NOT AN ISSUE!"

"Really?"

An exasperated sigh fills the phone and She says, "Really. Once back in your room get high with her and call Me."

"Call You? Why?!"

"So I can tell her what a naawy ai khohn baa gaam mee you are."

"You speak Thai?"

"Fluently and don't ask! Once I'm done talking with her she'll hand you back the phone."

"Um, uh, what are You going to tell her?"

"Everything."

"EVERYTHING?!!!"

Giggling wickedly She says, "Yes, every button to push, every kink, every secret ... EVERYTHING! And while she's working on you I'll be listening, giving direction and talking to you, My billybear. You had better be talking to her, encouraging her and spilling all your naughty secrets yourself! You are going to hop hop hop Thai style! You do like it 'spicy' don't you?"

"I wont last five seconds!"

"Oh you had BETTER last! NO CUMMIES until I say." She commands in that Mistress voice of Hers and then immediately flips to Her pouty voice, "It will depend on My mood, will you have put Me in a good mood billybear?"

"Oh I sure will TRY! Why are we doing this?"

"Because you're insane darling. Maybe this will help."

Well, I'm off to Bangkok Saturday morning, I'll be back twelve days or so later! nervous giggle, wrings paws ...

PS: This picture was sent back by bangkokBilly using the magnoBlogTimeOmeter on his first night there. He's at the Super Pussy with his new friends listed below:

Sucki, the little spermaid, Latisha Jizzmouth, Mia Sohony, bangkokBilly and his ever present Blazing Bong of Bliss 'binkie'