Ever read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream by Dr. Hunter S. Thompson? Read it. The book is funny and incredibly well written. Anyway trust me on this one thing and read the book, seeing the movie doesn't count. I've had that book and other Thompson books on my mind of late. I miss the guy, love this story:
Neighbor and actor Don Johnson remembered asking Mr. Thompson, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" Mr. Thompson responded by slapping Mr. Johnson across the face.
I know this isn't a book club. What's the point? The point's this. I was working in the lab late one night and needed mittens to test a new ingredient for the batch of Princess Electric Pink Kool-Aid I was whipping up. Well that turned out to be a bit problematic since MsTara has currently kidnapped poor mittens.
I had to creep by the snoring jem in a chair (why is she always in MsTara's bedroom?). Slide the dozy mittens from the foot of MsTara's bed. Run all of MsTara's panties and bras under water before placing them in the freezer, create a water trail across a beautiful wood floor leading back to jem from the freezer. Busy busy but I'll get my cat back for keeps, I've sworn a solemn oath to mittens who has missed me. I can tell by the friendly way she's digging her claws in my arm and softly growling.
Back at the labs I place mittens before a mound of fine white powder. I shove her face in it and put a round from a nearby forty-five into the ceiling, startling her into inhaling a big dose of the drug. The look, enhanced by her rapidly dilating pupils was just darling! Then she sneezed, causing this tsunami of powdered hallucinogen to go right into my face.
That's the last thing I remember. Oh, I found this picture on the seat of this fantastic pink Mustang convertible I woke up in. It had all these pixies on it. Mittens and I must have borrowed it or something. I couldn't get it out of the ditch so I walked home.
Anyway, here's the pic, any ideas? I see mittens was driving which probably wasn't a good thing but who's the other cat?
Cough cough Sorry ... fur ball.
Now THAT.... is a very disturbing picture... LOL
ReplyDeleteI'll get you for this! I had to work my ass off to clean up that water and thaw out the panties and bras before Miss Tara woke up. Good thing she sleeps late!
little bitchass
Hmm, I wonder where Mittens is? Jem is all curled up and asleep... poor thing looks exhausted, even after going to bed early. Carrying those boobs around must wear a bimbo out. :doorbell:: Why, Mittens! What are you doing out here? Your fur is all smoky smelling and your eyes are so WIDE -how did you get outside?
ReplyDelete::Mittens rats Billy out with glee:: Poor baby, we're going to GET that vicious little blue so and so. I'm going to crash his computers and cut his phone lines so that he has NO idea where the Princess is!! C'mon, Mittens, lets get you to the vet for detox.
I'm going to crash his computers and cut his phone lines so that he has NO idea where the Princess is!!
ReplyDeleteFrosty. One hopes She might take issue with that, let me know if you get a thank you card though. I could use the heads up.
Princess tends to let us fight our own battles though. It's pure Darwinism out here in petland, sink or swim.
::billybear resumes work on his next big plan, stepfordTara 2007::
Can't wait to start blogging about HER ::stares meaningfully at MsTara - soft smile::
::mutters:: Threaten my contact with Princess will Ya? Oh sure put billy in forced denial - always a good plan!
::activates stepfordTara::
What the hell!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to increase cookie production to pay for the repairs on the TinkMobile. That's the last time I tell mittens where I hide the spare keys.
I have to agree with jem. That picture will haunt me in my nightmares.