Billy the Perverted Elf

MsTara's TeaTimes are usually at 6PM EST on Friday's. This is not a golfing event.

This is a sissy event. A little tea party is held in the SissySchool chatroom and MsTara runs the show. It is much different than MsGrace's TeaseTime events (10PM EST Thursdays) so let me make something perfectly clear, no room for subtlety here, do not fuck with the sissies! I can't imagine how hard this thing must be to simulate in a chat environment (a tip of the hat to MsTara on even trying) but if you don't want to have a seat at the table and have some tea and engage in some girl talk then don't. There's room for everyone on the playground so if you decide to be an ass and disrupt this event believe you me MsTara will deal with it, and you. I've watched it happen.

My best pal is a sissy. Me I'm sort of a dabbler, kind of like denial, I can get interested in just about anything and generally do ::blushes at MsGrace, I'm very interested in You MsGrace:: and jem was all excited at being able to attend one and wanted me to tag along. The time of this event generally causes me problems but I said if I could show up I would. I had attended one earlier event, sat at the table quiet as a mouse until MsTara busted me since I was smoking a bong (makes the scones even yummier!). I was just hanging out, trying to get a feel for the event, an understanding. What I took away from the thing was it's all proper and well, lady-like. Everyone there is also very playful and it's fun if you get into the spirit of the thing. Paxton 2.0 was born for this thing!

So I pop in a little late and they're all telling me that I have to put on this green miniskirt if I want to stay. MsTara is saying it's perfect for me, one of Her favorites. Um, OK so I go in the back and change. I come back out and glance in the mirror and stupidly blurt out, "I look like a perverted elf!" well that stuck like white on rice. MsTara gets all giggly and comes out with little elf shoes and a hat and jingly bells. Lets face facts, as far as perverted elfs go, I look quite dashing!

Jem manages to get me in trouble with MsTara (it's really not hard for me to get in trouble all by myself, jem just pushes the time table up from about five minutes to around three. I know I'm headed into stormy waters with MsGrace when she tells me to 'behave' and you betcha I do!) Anyway, I was feeling sorta resentful and foolish in my elf attire, turning my back on my people, my elfish culture and background so I might have typed billy glares at MsTara instead of typing what I intended which was billy glares adoringly at MsTara. So I managed to get my ass tanned over that one much to jem's delight (on a side note why won't anyone believe me when I say jem is pure, concentrated evil? I'm beginning to feel like I'm stuck in an Omen movie. I tell ya, jem sports the mark of the Beast! Why won't anyone believe me???).

Then the girls thought it be just oh so funny to steal my clothes leaving me stuck as a perverted elf for the rest of the day. I wander the chatroom halls and rooms hated, feared and despised (Where's the Trek convention? Geek! followed by taunting laughs mocking my pointy ears). I suffered mightily for my people that day ... I bore every curse, every taunt proudly. Yes, I am a perverted elf!

Well around 11PM or so that night I was in the WOT room getting queried by one of the Mistress about the history of my people, their culture and traditions. As She hears about our sad past, how we were enslaved by Santa, bent to his will, She says, "You know I could use a beer." And I think, ya know I could use a beer too.

So I pop up the brb button and head to the fridge. Nada. Well I really need a beer at this point so decide to head on down to the local "Quicky Mart" and pick up a six pack. Drown my elfish sorrows and maybe pick up some smokes, why not?

Well apparently in Ohio it's illegal to sell beer to perverted elves after 11PM. It's that fucker Taft oppressing my people, a lackey of Santa the enslaver. He's been a thorn in my side for quite awhile now. Well I'm explaining to the very nervous cashier that it's not 11PM on the west coast and why doesn't he cut my perverted elf ass a little slack and sell me the fucking beer! About this time in our one sided discourse a sheriff and a god damned state trooper burst into the place, guns drawn and dangerously excited.

Well they haul me off to jail with a promise of a full cavity search but the zipper's stuck on the damned elf attire. So they use "the jaws of life" to cut the thing off me.

That's why MsTara your precious elf costume is a shredded tattered mess and it's marikiss's fault.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!