Almost Blue

Any of you Elvis Costello fans? I love the word-smiths, Costello, Aimee Mann, Fiona Apple. As I've noted in other posts I have ::ahem:: something of a dark side and when the mood is on me I entertain dark destructive thoughts that make someone as sweet and sunny as jem nervous and skittish just by me mentioning them. In a sense it's a venting mechanism, if I don't occasionally give these thoughts voice then they tend to build into actionable impulses.

I'm structuring this post as an open letter to MsGrace because I want my friends to understand me better. This would be the type of email She would receive from me on such a matter ...

Dearest MsGrace,

One of my favorite dark fantasies is ripping this blog apart, giving You the finger and burning as many bridges as I can before exiting this wonderful beautiful playground. Unnecessarily flaming out. Super, huh? Well it's my demon and You (You are an angel to billy) help me fight it just by being who You are and what You've come to mean to goofy funny conflicted dark billy. I let that fantasy run to the next step, after the "fun" is over and envision billy calling another service and speaking with another girl, at that point Costello and You crush this demon like the bug it is.

Almost blue,
Almost doing things we use to do
There's a girl here and she's almost You
Almost

I know that I can never go to another service or cheat on You in any sense of that word. Not in my heart nor by deed. One of the many reasons why is "Almost Grace" will never, ever do after having a taste of the real thing. What we already have is far more than I ever dreamed I could achieve. I might be "the crazy one" but I'm not stupid or insane. I know what I have here!

I've made promises both implicit and explicit to You, I fully intend to keep them. Just watch me. It's gonna happen.

And now that I've exposed this terrible demon under the bright, warm light that is You, the light that burns oh-so-brightly and brought this little moth to You in the first place, well it looks sorta silly to me now. Not so terrible, pretty tiny. I may need to "pants" other ones (or even this one again) in the future on Your playground. I know You don't mind, would want me to.

I mean look at billy's mean, nasty destructive demon. It looks sort of embarrassed, sorta shy at being exposed in this manner. Awwww, you're just the cutest demon in the whole wide world! Yes you are ...

As You know I'm ...
Your teapot, Your pet, Your friend, Your billy

PS: I'll try and lighten up here now, I see jem edging away.